Mikki De'lucca
Belladonna.. That is what Doctor Greyson had called the poison you've been unknowingly taking for months now.. You just can't understand it.. Why would your doctor give you something to make you sicker?
Since it was prescribed before you even met Oliver, it can't have been Angelo, that just doesn't add up.. Unless.. Angelo had the same idea as you.. To get rid of you before you could get rid of him..
But why like this?
Why not just put a bullet in your head and be done with it?
When Colt leaves you alone, disappearing downstairs with the Doctor's husband, you turn to her.. "Doctor Greyson, could I ask you something?.."
She smiles, crossing the room to sit beside you.. "Please, you can call me Lacey.. What's on your mind, Mikki?"
You suck a breath between your teeth.. "I've been.. Seeing things.. Things that-- aren't there.. Impossible things.."
Her empathetic eyes never leave yours.. "Hallucinations can be another side effect of the Belladonna toxin.. It's a pretty common reaction.. What kind of things do you see?.."
You swallow.. "It's just the one thing really.. But-- It--he seems so real.."
"He?" Her head tips curiously to one side..
"Charlie.. He is my--" You bite your tongue.. "He - - was my husband.. I lost him four years ago.." Tears begin to escape you.. "I fell to peices the day he died.. I mean.. It destroyed me, Lacey.. And last year.. I found out he was still alive.. Just to lose him all over again.." You sob.. "I didn't even get to see him.. I didn't get to say goodbye.. My husband died twice.. And I still see his ghost everywhere I go.. Sometimes I feel so sure I am going mad.."
Lacey shifts tentatively, as though she doesn't quite know what to say or do.. But then to your surprise, she reaches across to wrap her arms around you.. She smells of lillies and baby power.. The combination inexplicably comforting.. "Im so sorry for your loss, Mikki.. I can't begin imagine how difficult this has been for you.. You must know how incredibly brave you are, to have continued on.. And I promise you, you are not going crazy.. You're going to feel better soon.. Everything will work out if you have faith.."
You are astounded by this woman and her compassion.. The way she makes you feel as though you could tell her anything.. You see no malice in her starry grey gaze, and there isn't a trace of judgment to her soft tone..
"If-- if I stop taking the Belladonna.. I won't see him anymore.. Will I?"
You don't know if are not ready for that.. You're not ready to let him go..
"Just like with your memory, It may take some time for the effects to fully fade.. You might still experience some symptoms until the toxin is completely out of your system.. But.. Mikki, you do HAVE to stop taking it.. Otherwise it will kill you, slowly but surely.."
You nod.. "I understand.. Its just.. It's not fair.."
She pets your hand in hers.. "No.. It's not fair at all, Mikki.."
You smile at her weakly... "T-thank you, Lacey.. Thank you for looking out for me.. I don't really have many people on my side these days.."
She sighs.. "I took an oath to help people, it's not about sides to me.. Right or wrong.. I don't believe anyone deserves to suffer.. I don't believe anybody is beyond redemption, so long as they ask for forgiveness.." She smiles.. "I also understand a thing or two about grief and crappy circumstances.. Believe me.."
You nod tiredly.. Circumstances.. Sure.. That and poor choices have led you to this place.. To this person you don't recognise...
"But you have more people on your side than you think.."
You scoff.. "I do? Like who?"
She looks over to the door.. "Well, me for one.. And Colt.."
You frown.. "You mean, the guy who abducted me?.."
She hums.. "He didn't want to do that, Mikki.. I know he feels terrible.. Colt isn't a bad guy.. He's just.. Well, he's Colt.."
You fiddle with the bedsheets.. "You're saying I should trust him?"
She clicks her tongue.. "No.. I'm saying I trust him.. You'll have to make your mind up for yourself.. But.. I do think you should let him try.."
You shake your head.. "Try what?"
She stands up, a sweet smile on her lips.. "To help you, sweetie.. I don't know what kind of trouble you're in, and I don't need to in order to care for you.. But Knox is more than meets the eye.. Give him a chance, Mikki.. You'll see.."
A soft rap on the bedroom door has you looking up to see the Cowboy, standing there, those worried eyes searching yours, wreaking havoc in your senses.. "Hey.. Uhh.. Could I talk to Mikki a minute, Tiny?"
He smiles at Lacey and she nods.. "Of couse, Collie.. Ace and I will be downstairs if you need us, Mikki.." She gives his bicep a little squeeze as she brushes past him to leave the room..
Colt crosses to the foot of the bed, folding his hands behind his back, he rocks on his heels apprehensively those blues eyes, so arctic blue and focused they give you the shivers.. "You feelin' any better, Sugar?"
You nod.. "Yeah.. A little, thanks.." You bite your lip in the strained silence.. Not knowing where you stand..
What does he want from you?
And what are you supposed to do now? .. Now that all your plans have gone to hell, and your head feels like a balloon about ready to burst from the pressure behind your eyes.. Its too much, and you find yourself wanting to take the doll-like doctor's advice and trust your abductor..
For the briefest moment, you wonder how long it takes for Stockholm Syndrome to set in.. But you shake the ridiculous thought away before it can take root.. After all, you don't have to like Colt for him to be useful to you.. You knew that from the start..
And still.. For some reason.. You do like him.. Or you did, at least up until the point he put a gun to your head..
That had certainly confused things for you..
"Mikki, I've been thinkin'--"
"Colt, I need to--"
You both speak at once, and fall silent quickly after, awkward tension pulling tighter in the air all around you..
"Sorry, you go.." He holds up a hand, motioning you to continue politely..
"Well.. I've just been-- wondering.. What are you going to do with me if my father won't pay?"
He narrows his gaze curiously, taking a cautious step closer.. "You really think he wouldn't?"
You wrap your arms around yourself doubtfully.. "N-no.. He will.. But only as a last resort.. Look if this is about money, I can pay you--"
The Cowboy sighs a soft sympathetic breath.. "It's not about money, Sugar.." He reaches up to press at his shoulder, as though it is giving him pain, sending a charged empathetic jolt through your chest..
"Then.. The Russians sent you?.. This is revenge? I'm going to die just like Bobbi.. Because of something our father did.."
You can't help but draw the comparison.. Bobbi had gotten tangled up with a bunch of crooked Feds Angelo had made deals with and when everything went south, Bobbi De'lucca had been one more loose end they'd needed tied up..
Colt cracks his knuckles before tucking his hands into his pockets.. "No. I'm not going to hurt you.. And nobody sent me, Mikki.. I took a private security contract, sugar, that's it.. I made you a promise.. I just want to help you.. I Don't know what else to say to make you believe me.."
You press your lips together with a considerate hum.. "I suppose.. You did get shot because of me.."
He grins, a roguish dazzling smile.. "I'd do it again to protect you, Mikki.. It's my job.. Remember?"
You smile up at him tiredly.. "I really want to believe you, Cowboy.."
He nods slowly.. "I want that too, Sugar.."
You swallow your nerves and doubts, because this is about more than just you.. Other people have been dragged into this mess, and The Cowboy, as willing as he may be, is now in danger because of you..
"If you're really going to help me I have to tell you-- well, I was supposed to meet Oliver today.. I remember that he called me last night and something was wrong.. Colt , I need to make sure he is alright.."
Colt shakes his head.. "It's too risky.. Someone might see you.. Mikki, you're too recognisable.. We need to get out of the city once its dark enough for us to travel unnoticed.."
Determined, you swing your legs over the side of the bed.. "No.. I have to-- go- - oh shit.." A dizzy spell has you swaying side to side and seeing stars..
Colt rushes to your side to catch you, tucking you back into the bed before he sits carefully on the edge of the mattress beside you.. In a surprisingly easy motion he reaches out to smooth some of the strands away from your face before running his palm over your flushed cheek..
The contact of his cool hand against your burning skin feels so nice you can't help but sigh.. "Mmh.."
"Alright, Mikki.. Alright, if I go meet him for ya.. Will you stay here and rest?.."
You nod.. "Yeah.. Yes.."
"Promise?" He arches a suspicious blond brow..
You reach up to draw a small X with the tip of your finger over your chest .. "Cross my heart.."
Colt huffs.. "Right.. Where were you supposed to be meeting him?"
"The lookout at Lakeside Central.."
He nods stiffly, his assessing stare focused on your fingers, nervously twisting at the soft blankets.. "Mikki?.. Oliver.. Is this guy dangerous, do you think he could be involved?"
You hesitate a moment.. Since, you don't know the answer.. Part of you is desperate to keep all the secrets inside... But another part of you knows that you can't send The Cowboy off to this meeting without any of the facts..
"Listen, Cowboy, the truth about me and Oliver is--"
He waves his hand as if to say a simple yes or no would do.. "I don't need details Mikki, I mean-- It's none of my business who you--"
You shake your head abruptly.. "No.. Not that.. I already told you-- We're not.. We're not like that.. Oliver is with the DEA, Colt.. I was-- um.."
You don't even know what to call it..
A Narc, a snitch, an inside woman.. There are so many names for what you are.. But all you can think is what Angelo would call you.. A rat..
"You're his informant.." Colt finishes for you, realisation crossing his handsome, clean-cut features..
"Yeah.. I guess I was.. He promised to help me if I talked.. And I did.. I told him all of Angelo's secrets .. He's been risking everything.. I owe him, Cowboy.. Now, I think he's in trouble.."