You wish you slept well. You wish Spencer falling asleep peacefully between your thighs, rolling off you when you moved to lay down yourself, reaching for your hand and pressing a kiss to it before falling back asleep, you wish it were a magic way to make all the trouble in your mind go away. But it's not.
Even though you fell asleep quickly, you woke up in the early morning, panicked. You don't even remember what you dreamed of; What made your heart pound this hard. You just know that you curse yourself, your soul, for being this ungrateful. Spencer was with you. He wants to be with you. He's gone out of his way to make that clear. And still...
Somehow, you are still convinced that you don't deserve him. That he is wasting himself on you. He himself said he felt like he cheated his way into becoming your boyfriend. What kind of co-depending bullshit were you two building here? Did you just bond over the trauma of being an addict?
Oh, go to hell. You internally yell at your intrusive thoughts.
It will take time for you to let yourself actually enjoy being with Spencer. Not that you don't enjoy it in the moment you are with him. You are just forbidding yourself to feel joy at any other time. Too scared that it will all go away. That you will be left with nothing, but all the love you have and no one to give it to.
You decide that while you give yourself the time to adjust being in such a beautiful relationship, you will spend all your energy on making Spencer feel as loved as possible.
Quietly, you get out of bed. You have about an hour before Spencer (and you) will have to get up and ready for work. Quickly, you put on clothes and grab your bag. The crisp air of the morning lets you inhale deeply. Hoping that Spencer will not wake up while you're gone, you race to the next café and get fresh coffee and breakfast.
Your apartment is as quiet as you left it when you open the door. You take off your shoes and put everything you got on the table, nicely sorting it onto plates. Then you tiptoe back to the bedroom. Spencer seems to be already waking up, face still relaxed but body stirring. He's spread out on his stomach, head buried in the cushion.
The mattress dents when you sit down next to him. Gently, you push strands of hair out of his face and kiss his cheek. "Spence." You whisper. "Breakfast is ready."
"Hmh?" His voice is raspy. Eyes still closed he slowly lifts his arm into your direction. You let your fingers wanders over the back of his hand, tracing each bone.
"Spence, your coffee will get cold."
His eyes shoot open. It makes you smile.
Spencer rubs his face and lifts his head off the pillow: "When did you get breakfast?"
"Just now."
Groggily, he looks at you: "You went out and got breakfast for me?"
"Yeah." You quickly kiss him.
Standing up, you give him space to get out of bed. He swings his legs over the edge and follows you to the living room, wearing just the shirt he slept in and his boxers.
Spencer sits down and stares at the set table. You push his coffee towards him and take a sip of yours. "I thought it was my turn to get coffee in the morning."
He seems to be properly awake now and smiles at you brightly: "I cannot remember the last time I had actual breakfast like this."
"Same." You tell him and grab some food.
"I was thinking," Spencer says, "maybe we could read a book together every week. We could take turns choosing."
You put down your cup. His dart over your face, apparently observing your reaction.
"I'd love that."
After swallowing the next bite of your fruit salad, you propose: "What about movies?"
Spencer props up his head on his hand: "You mean, we should watch some together?"
You nod: "Yeah, we could do it like with the books. Maybe two a week, either of us choosing one. And I'm open to movies of every language, by the way."
His smile brightens: "Okay." He nods.
"Studies show that finding this kind of a routines not only helps to put the mind at rest and relax the body, it also will increase the emotional bonding when done with someone else because the psyche will associate the relaxation with that person." Spencer bombards you with information while you take another sip.
You grin at him: "I'd like some emotional bonding."
His cheeks flush a little and he stares at his plate.
"Did I fluster you?" You tilt your head; it makes you smile when he gets nervous like that. It's refreshing that he doesn't hide his reaction behind a smoke screen of coolness.
Spencer looks back up and stares you down, which makes you shift in your seat in excitement.
"You're the only one to pick apart my lectures like that."
"Pick apart?" You furrow your eyebrows.
A smile creeps onto his lips: "You immediately defeat my factual statements by undermining it like this."
"Like what?" You lean against the table.
Spencer clears his throat: "Flirting. By flirting."
"You're still worked up about when I made you think I was about to kiss you in the bullpen after you told me about the statistics of germs transferred during a handshake, aren't you?"
He lets out a laugh: "That was a power move. I think that was the moment I realized I really like you."
"Oh?" You look at him surprised. "You liked me before I made you go cold turkey?"
"Of course."
"Really?!" You ask a little too loud.
Spencer leans against the table as well: "I know we established that I was an asshat before, but I still liked you."
"That's a surprise."
"Should I show you how much I like you now?"
You mouth falls open. You really want to reply something witty but you're way too entranced by the look in Spencer's eyes. You just get up from the chair.
- - - - - - - - - -
Spencer bites his bottom lip and follows you into the bedroom. When you turn around, his hands clasp your face, and he presses his lips against yours. They still taste of coffee. Grabbing the back of his neck, you lean into him. Spencer bites you lip and grips your hair. You moan at the sensation, making him push you towards the bed.
A little out of breath, you crawl onto it backwards. Quickly, Spencer follows you and reaches for the hem of your sweatpants, pulling them down. Your breathing hitches when you see the bulge in his boxers.
"Getting fresh coffee really made you horny, huh?" You smirk while helping him to take off his shirt.
Spencer pushes you back into the mattress and puts his weight on you. "I'd say it were ninety percent you and ten percent the coffee." He murmurs.
"So, I'm nine times as hot as hot coffee?"
"Oh, shut up." Spencer chuckles against your lips.
Just when you slither your hand into Spencer's boxers, you alarm goes off. "Shit." You wiggle out of his grasp and roll over to turn it off. Turning back to him, you tell him: "We have like half an hour."
"The average time for women to reach their orgasm is thirteen minutes and twenty-five seconds." Spencer tells you. You grin at him: "Does that mean you plan on making me cum 2.2 times?"
"See! You're doing it again!" Spencer yells at you amused.
You grab his arm and pull him onto you, snaking your leg around his hips to grind him against your crotch. "What am I doing again?" You innocently flutter your eyes at him, trying to suppress a shit-eating grin.
His eyes narrow while they dart over you face. Taking his hand, you keep up the eye contact. While giving him doe-eyes, you push his ring and middle finger into your mouth. When you suck on them, you feel Spencer's dick twitch between your thighs.
You graze your teeth over them gently while pulling them out again. As soon as they leave your mouth, Spencer leans down to kiss your wet lips, pushing his equally wet fingers into your briefs. You moan into his mouth when his fingers reach their destination.
Spencer runs them up and down between your folds, making you squirm beneath him. When he dips his middle finger into you, just barely past the entrance and runs his thumb over your clit, your head falls back.
He attacks your exposed neck with kisses, leaving a wet trail down to your collarbone. When he feels you increasingly getting wet, he pushes his finger further into you, curling it upwards. Burying both hands in his hair, you pull his head up to your face again. He groans at the feeling of his hair being tucked and basically swallows you whole with his lips.
Soon, your arousal is overwhelming. You push his hand away from your core. "Is something wrong?" Spencer immediately asks you. "Yeah, something's wrong." You nod, making his face contort in concern. With your mouth right next to his ears, you whisper: "Your dick is not inside me."
Spencer lets out a mixture of a cough and a groan. You flip him over, you now straddling his lap. With a swift movement, you get rid of your shirt and bra. Spencer's eyes wander over your chest, but before he can even take a breath, you roll onto your back again.
After taking off your underwear, you turn your head to look at a very flustered but also visibly aroused Spencer. When he doesn't move, you say: "Please, fuck me, Spencer." His eyes widen: "Fuck, Emily." Him cursing only turns you on more.
He makes quick work of his boxers and crawls onto you. You guide him to your entrance. Spencer is propped up on his forearms left and right of your head, looking down on you. You kiss him again and put your hands on his firm ass and push him forward, all the way into you. Both of you moan in sync. His dick stretches you, filling you up completely.
Slowly, Spencer starts to move back and forth, looking all stern and concentrated. You run your fingers through his hair and cradle his face with your hands. Calculated, you contract your muscles around his cock. "Oh!" Spencer breathes out. You smile and kiss him. "Do that again." He tells you and you do. "Holy shit, that's so fucking tight...you...dear god..."
You moan at his voice and instruct him: "Now roll your hips." Spencer starts to do as told. At first, it's a little uncoordinated, but then he finds a steady rhythm. Your eyes fall shut as warmth spreads from your core to your thighs and stomach.
Your hands wander over his naked body, feeling the small scars he got from the job, the muscles moving between his shoulder blades, the smooth skin of his sides. When he starts to speed up his movements, you push your hand down to stimulate your clit. You feel the wetness spread from between your legs all over his pelvis and your sensitive pussy.
Moaning at the added stimulation, you contract around his dick again. "Emily, if you keep doing that..." Spencer stutters. Your eyes shoot open and you look at his face, cheeks red form the strenuous activity, sweat glistering on his forehead.
You relax around him while speeding up the movements on your clit. "Can you go harder?" You ask, opening your legs further. Spencer starts to move his hips more forceful. However, still too gently in your opinion. "I won't break." You assure him like when he ate you out.
Now he really starts to slam against you, pounding into you as far as he can. "Oh, fuck." You moan. His thick dick stretches you every time he pulls almost completely out of you to and jerks his hips forwards again. When Spencer starts to roll his hips again, the pleasure overwhelms you. He hits your g-spot, and you pick up the speed on your clit again.
Since you cannot see properly anymore anyways, you close your eyes and completely indulge in the sensation. You can feel your orgasm linger, ready to powerfully explode. Feeling Spencer's hips stutter pushes you even closer to the edge.
You grab the back of his neck and put your arm around him to press him against your chest. It creates friction and stimulates your nipples. Your walls start to spasm and you tighten around him. Spencer lets out a string of curses and moans your name.
Your voice shoots up when you groan and moan and finally reach that sweet, sweet release. You roll your hips against him to prolong your orgasm. You can barely hear anything, but Spencer's obscenely loud moans get registered by your brain. He keeps moving a little longer before he collapses onto your chest.
Breathing heavily, you both lay there in silence, Spencer still inside of you. Aftershocks of your orgasm make your legs twitch a few times. You start to kiss his shoulder while drawing circles on his head, entangling your fingers with his hair.
Slowly, Spencer gets back up and pulls out of you. Closing your eyes, you enjoy the silence and the rest of the euphoria inside of you.
- - - - - - - - - -
After you freshened up and put on the underwear from your to-go bag, you sit back down in bed next to Spencer. His face is still a little red. You lean down to kiss his swollen lips, then you whisper: "We need to go to work."
He shakes his head: "I will never leave this room again, especially with you in here as well." You chuckle: "I gather you liked it?"
Spencer lifts his head: "That's a rhetorical question, isn't it?"
"Just wanted to make sure." You grin and give him a peck on the lips. "Now get up, Lover Boy."