prompts: ''don't leave me. don't you dare leave me''
summary: breaking down on stage at an SNS during karaoke
characters: the spn cast
warnings: angst, fluff, no offense to Gen because I literally adore her <3
[beginning to think I like cheating!angst]
''Welcoming Y/n L/n to the stage!'' I heard Rich's voice filled with a humorous tone, it still feels weird to use L/n instead of Padalecki. He's the one that ended it, not me, I just received the divorce papers. Hearing the gasps of some of the non-obsessive fans hearing my last name nearly tore me apart, what would they be thinking right now?
''I don't think she needs an introduction, what you thinking, Y/n?'' He continued, wrapping an arm around me as I strolled on stage.
I whispered in his ear before talking to the audience, ''I think you all know this one.'' Despite the laugh in my sentence, it wasn't a funny time in my life right now. He gave me a questioning look as if to say 'are you sure?', I nodded, a crooked smile shooting his way as to try and disguise my dead eyes.
''I would just like to say, I will be reversing the pronouns used.'' I physically shook my nerves away before starting.
'Yeah, you sure broke my heart last week-'
The audience wailed.
'When you said you had slept with her-'
Nothing against Gen- actually, yes, she knew he was married. The audience seemed to understand my point, whipping out their phones in fan fashion. God, this was definitely going to be all over Jared's twitter later.
'I know you called, I got them all-''
I put on a fake grin as I continued.
'La da da da da da-'
When everyone in the cast had found out, they were seething, he was supposed to be the one to love me.
'Boy you better love what you got, before you go and give it away-'
I moved from the single spot I had glued myself to, putting a small skip in my step.
'But don't say that I don't know you-'
I gave a small head whip, trying to engage the audience.
'Cause- oh, I know all about your type-'
I grit my teeth at the word 'type'.
'You're the kinda boy that texts all day and talks all night-'
I use mocking hands to emphasise my attitude.
'And oh- I know, that you-'
I looked towards the side of the stage where Jared was watching, oh shit, he wasn't supposed to be here.
'Are feeling sad- don't feel bad-'
I scoff at him, turning towards the crowd again.
'Cause even after three text messages, four missed calls you still-'
I slammed my foot against the ground, anger took over before the anguish.
'Slept with my best friend-'
I sung shakily and it all became too much, seeing his face again after so long, singing this song.
'Yeah, you-' sure got a lot of nerve
My breath caught in my throat and I stopped singing for a moment, missing a couple lines as I sniffed.
'-to say that this was all my fault-'
I broke down. In the middle of karaoke. In front of an amazing amount of fans. Fuck me.
The sobs came out, racking my chest, Matt was the first one to reach me before I collapsed into despair on the dirty floor. I gave my microphone to Sebastian as Matt whispered to me.
''Come on, it's okay, let's get you out of here.'' He ushered me off stage so quickly, the lights blurred.
I heard the speakers from backstage as I tried to bee-line for the green room.
''Uh- so- I'm just going to go sort this out. This is so unprofessional for me- I apologise but this is important.'' Rich blurts out before leaving the stage, passing his mic and mine to a techie.
The cool air from the green room soothed my burning face as I continued to bang out cry after cry. Matt pulled me in, hugging me as tight as he could.
''Hey- is she-'' Speight stopped as soon as his eyes settled on me falling apart in Matt Cohen's arms.
''Oh no, come here.'' Matt knew that he could handle this better so he handed me over to Richard.
''Go entertain, I have this covered.'' Matt nodded at him before leaving to return to the stage.
We just sat there for a while, on the carpeted floor, whilst I cried.
''Wanna tell me why you chose that song?'' His voice was comforting and light, he tried to cheer me up with his addictive personality.
''I don't know. So much was going through my head and- this is too much to deal with. I saw him and I just-'' I let out a giant exhale, giving up on trying to speak.
''Divorce is messy. You had to go through it alone, in your house, no one to help you. If I could've been there, I would have, oh my god I would've.'' He had such sincere sympathy in his voice and his eyes, I couldn't be this pathetic in front of him.
''No one could have known they would arrive, I knew it was coming, knew what he felt for her. I just thought he would do it in person at least, not like a pussy, god he's such a quivering pussy.'' I growl, standing up to grab a complimentary bottle of water from the set up table.
''Everyone agrees with you. Work is going to be difficult now but- at least you weren't his love interest.'' He giggles, I try to keep a straight face but give in to him, smiling proudly.
''No, I'm yours, I cannot wait to flex on that bitch that I don't care about him anymore.'' I run over and jump onto the awful yellow couch, lying down.
''Well you sure showed it out there.'' He shoved my legs off the coach and sat down, but before I could protest, he picked them up and lay them over his.
''Hey- too soon.'' I pointed a warning finger at him before both of us erupted with laughter. ''That was so embarrassing, I'm never coming again, I will just bar crawl all day.'' I groaned, stretching out my arms.
''Do you miss him?'' This silenced the room, I though of an answer.
''I don't know, I miss the perks of being married. Over the years we grew apart, we loved each other, yeah but-'' He finished it off for me.
''But you weren't in love with each other?'' He looked over at me, placing his hand on top of mine, his sad eyes said it all.
''Yeah.'' I stared into nothing, this is the start of a lonely road ahead.
''It doesn't have to be lonely.'' Guess I said that out loud.
''Yeah, Rich, it does-''
''No, it doesn't. You have me, Rob, Mark and many othe-''
''It's not the same! I can't hold onto to any of you at night and hug away my tears, I can't share kisses and longing looks at-''
''What if it can be? The same?'' I shot my gaze to him, feeling my heart scream inside my chest.
''W-What do you mean?'' I swallow, realising my throat is dry and feels like sandpaper, I try not to cough.
''Mark told me- about that night in Vegas? You two were the only ones left at the bar, scotch-drunk to holy hell. You told him how you felt about me, and how you told Jared. And how he had told you about Genevieve.'' His voice was quiet and unsure, unsure of what I would say and how I would react.
''Damn it, Pellegrino.'' I looked down to the floor towards Hell, before looking at Rich.
''I know it's too soon for you to even have an opinion on this-'' He starts.
''You're right. It is too soon, too soon for me to date anyone for now. How about, we hang out with each other tomorrow. We'll have a movie night.'' I emphasise my words and he get's the gist. It had been four months, it was perfectly okay to say yes to him, so I did it indirectly.
''That sounds perfect. My hotel room, should I invite the vodka or will you?'' I smile at him, shaking my head.
''I think I might skip on inviting Dr. Smirnoff just yet, two's a company.'' I study his eyes, the golden flecks swimming affectionately within the ochre shade.
''Great idea, meet me straight after tomorrow's con, it's the only time we will have for a while,'' I grab his hand which still rested on mine.
''Sick.'' Why did I have to be like this in serious situations?
''Really?'' His judging yet teasing tone played into my ears.
''Really.''