*Charli POV*
"Can I ask you something, Charli?"
"Uh, yeah? I mean, I guess so," I mumbled. What would Harry want to ask me?
"Do you ever miss me?"
I just sat there, not speaking; but replaying the words he just spoke. 'Do you ever miss me?'
Do I miss Harry? Harry is... Well, Harry was one of my best friends.
We haven't really spent much, if any, time together since I started dating Zayn in my sophomore year.
I could always count on him, and he could always count on me.
If I needed to talk, Harry was there. If I needed to cry, Harry was there. If I needed anything, I went to Harry. That was it.
It was as if I had known him my entire life; just like Brooke, who I actually had known my entire life. In reality, it was less than twelve months I had known him. Now he's just... Harry. The green eyed, dimpled, curly haired boy I used to spend almost all my free time with.
When I met Zayn at that Bonfire, I never expected things to turn out the way they did. I didn't plan on just ditching Harry for him. Harry never did anything wrong. It was me who did wrong. I dropped everything to spend almost every minute of every day with Zayn. I barely spoke to Brooke during the first six months we were dating.
Hell, I barely spoke to my grandparents. It wasn't until they sat me down one day, and told me that if I didn't for a lack of better words "get my shit sorted out", that they would forbid me from seeing him. They couldn't do that. I couldn't stay away from Zayn.
He means everything to me. But I turned my back on everyone I loved in my life. I needed to get it sorted out. I hated that fact. And Zayn knows it.
It was something I had to live with. It was something that I didn't want to live with. That wasn't me. I don't know who that girl is. I had never done anything like that in my life. I don't know what it was about Zayn that made me forget everyone in my life, to only focus all of my attention on him.
I had invited him over one night. He didn't know what was coming. I felt heartless.
I still remember the look on his face when I opened the door. I was sobbing. His expression broke my heart into a million pieces.
"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" he asked.
"That wasn't my plan to...." I confessed.
"What's wrong then?" he asked, entering the house and closing the door. Gram and Gramps had gone out to dinner. We were alone.
It was difficult. One of the most difficult things I've gone through in my life, other than losing my parents. That, and my sister moving away.
"I think... I think we should take a break."
"So, you are breaking up with me?" he asked, eyes starting to water. "Was it something I did?"
"No. I mean, not intentionally... It's just... I..." I sobbed, lunging forward and clinging to his body like my life depended on it. Like he would disappear if I let go. "I just..."
"What is it?" he asked, leading me into the living room, and sitting down on one of the couches. "What's wrong?"
I looked up at him. The utter confusion was written all over his face. He looked as if he would burst out in tears at any second, but didn't. "I-I just... I need some time."
"Away from me?" he mumbled.
"I'm so sorry," I cried, leaning into his chest, soaking his dark tee. "You know I love you, right?"
"I love you too, which is why this is so out of the blue," he grasped my shoulders and pulled me away from his warm body, so he could look me in the eyes. There was so much pain running through them. "I don't quite understand, Charli."
"I don't ever want to lose you, it's just-" I shut my eyes. I couldn't stand to look at him, knowing I was slowly breaking his heart. "I can't."
"Charli," he started. I opened my eyes to see his glossy eyes staring back at me. "Talk to me. I need you to talk to me."
"My grandparents and I had a talk..."
"So this is their decision?"
"No!" I shouted. "This is something I came up with."
"But had you not spoke with them..." he trailed off, looking up at the ceiling fan in the middle of the room. "Would we even be having this conversation?"
"Probably not," I confessed, staring up at him with tear filled eyes. "But-"
"So, it's their fault."
"Please, please, don't blame them, Zayn," I begged, dropping my hands to my lap. "I'm sorry. It's just..."
"Just what? You need to try and justify yourself, Charli. I don't fucking understand what is going on with you right now."
"I'm sorry! It's just difficult, and I feel like a heartless bitch," I mumbled, looking down at my hands, picking at my nails. "I've been spending all of my free time with you."
"Charli," he spoke, so quietly that I wasn't quite sure that he had even said anything.
I looked back up at him, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. "Zayn, I can't do this. I'm sorry."
"Do what?" he questioned. His eyes flickered over to mine, full of pain. Heartbreak. I was causing this pain towards him. "Do what, Charli?"
"I can't spend all of my time with you. I need space, some time away from you. Do you even know when the last time I saw Brooke or Harry was?"
He sat there, silently gazing into my soul for what seemed like hours. "We saw Brooke at school yesterday."
"To which I barely was able to throw out a wave at her," I admitted. The tears had slowed down, but were still flowing down my cheeks.
"Why do you need to see Harry?"
"Because he's my best friend too, Zayn!"
"I don't understand," he shook his head, dumbfounded at my comment.
"Thanks the problem! You don't see what you do to me."
"What I do to you?" his eyes hardened, turning a darker shade of brown. So close to black that it was quite terrifying. "You're blaming me now?"
"No!" I shout again. "Zayn. I haven't spent any time with anyone other than you since we first started dating. It's not that I don't enjoy your company, because believe me, I fucking love having you around, and want to do everything with you. But I need to spend my time with other people too."
He was silent. I leaned back on the couch and grabbed a pillow to bury my face in. How did I have this many tears in my system? When will they stop streaming down my face?
"So what, Charli? We're just done?" he questioned, pulling the pillow away from my face. "Just like that?"
"No."
"Well then, Charli, what? Because I'm so fucking confused right now," he shifted his body on the couch to fully face mine. "I don't fucking understand what is happening right now!"
"I don't want to break up."
"Then what the hell is happening between us right now?"
"I need to figure out myself," I admitted. What was I doing? I'm not breaking up with him, am I? No, I can't. I can't live without him. "I'm not breaking up with you."
He sat quietly, waiting for me to speak again. His eyes were watering, and he was blinking rapidly. I know he's trying to hold in his tears.
"I don't know how to say this without throwing someone under the bus..."
"Say what?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. "Who are you throwing under a bus?"
"I guess Gram. She said that if I don't start paying attention to the people who were in my life before you, that I was forbidden from seeing you."
"What!"
"She said I needed to 'sort my shit out'."
"You need to spend time with your grandparents and Brooke. I understand," he mumbled, reaching an arm out and wrapping it around my shoulders. He pulled me against his chest and started rubbing circles on my back. "That's fine! Why didn't you just say that in the first place? Why did you have to make a big deal out of it?"
"Because I love you; and I don't want to hurt you," I sighed, noticing the fact that he left Harry out of the people I need to spend time with.
"Charli, this hurts more than if you had just told me the truth."
"I'm sorry," I apologized, for what was probably the hundredth time. "I don't want to break up. I just need to make time for the other important people in my life too."
"I understand."
"You're sure?" I asked, looking up to meet his eyes again. His cheeks were wet. He was crying. "Oh, Zayn," I slowly lifted a hand up to his cheek to wipe away the wetness. "Please don't cry."
"I'm positive," he smiled, nuzzling his face into the palm of my hand. "Please, just... Next time, please talk to me. I nearly had a heart attack."
"I didn't mean it."
"I know. And tomorrow we can cancel our date; you can go hang out with Brooke. I'm sure she misses you," he leant down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Really?" I asked, the corners of my mouth turning up in a smile.
"Yes. I'd love it if you would go hang out with her. Please."
"I'm sorry," I apologized again.
"I know, it's okay," he murmured, as he rubbed my back. "I love you."
"I love you," I quietly spoke. Other than my grandparents, Harry and Brooke, he is the only other constant in my life. I needed him. He's my rock. "Ever since my parents died, I-"
"Charli?" a voice spoke, nudging me from my thoughts. "You there?"
I looked up to see Harry getting in the car. "Sorry, Hazzy," I apologized quietly, turning towards him. He was adjusting the backpack on his lap. "You went and got your stuff already?"
"Hazzy?" he questioned, a smirk playing on his lips. "So we're back to that?"
I remember the first time I called him that. We were at Louis' birthday party a few months after we met.
We both had lots to drink, and were playing a round of pong, when it slipped out.
"Charli, if yooou get thiss one in, we winnnn!" he slurred.
"I don't knooow if I can!" I giggled. I held the ball up, swaying side to side as I tried to focus on the single cup placed on the other side of the table. I shut my eyes, and tossed the ball across the table. It plunked in the middle of the cup, beer splashing out of the top. "I did it Hazzyyyyyyyy!"
"What's that?" he questioned. "Hazzy?"
"I don't know, I think I'm druunk," I giggled, giving him a big hug. "Hazzy!"
"Well, yeah. You've always been Hazzy to me." I admitted.
"And now everyone calls me some variation of it," the corners of his mouth turned down.
"You're welcome? I think?" I laughed, pulling out of the driveway, and making our way to Niall's house.
"You never answered my question, though."
"Yeah, I do. I miss when we would just hang out, doing nothing," I confessed. "I miss the simplicity of everything. Just being able to be around you."
"Me too."
"I'm sorry, Haz. For dropping everything. For not making time to be your friend. For completely ditching you. For-"
"It's okay," he smiled, cutting me off. "We can still be friends now! Right?"
"Yeah!"
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Authors Note:
So, this chapter was completely different. The flashback was not in it at all. I was reading over it to edit a couple things, and I just got in a groove. The entire thing was just written, so apologies if it isn't that great.
This chapter kind of gave you a bit of background on Charli and Harry's relationship; and a bit on the Zayn and Charli relationship.
I apologize for this going up so late. I initially intended on posting it a lot earlier than I did!
Does anyone read this? If you do, could you please comment and vote? :D