Bianca
Eli and I rode out the next morning.
The day before we had discussed the plan with Hazel and Madeline, just so they knew why we were going to be gone for so long. Though we didn't wanna give them too much detail, in case of Hazel snitching on us which is something she would do.
To Luna and Crystal at least...
We packed our bags, taking only the essentials, like toothpaste, toothbrush, a hairbrush, some pairs of shirts and pants, etc.
By the end of the day, we were exhausted from running around getting everything ready and by 1 am we were already out on the road.
Driving this early truly reminded me of my childhood. I was nonstop running a lot when I was little. After my mom forced me to steal resources to survive, we'd have to run in case we got caught.
The running never stopped. To be honest, I didn't mind running from state to state, city to city, because in a way I never had anyone to stay and wait for. I stopped running the second I met Madeline, canceling out my mothers orders regardless of whether or not I was threatened with death.
Madeline mainly gave me a reason to stay. A reason to not entirely run, and that was the starting of my trust issues.
I tried to trust my mom, because after all she is, my mom. But when it came to the things she made me do to satisfy her, she canceled out that trust and locked it away completely where it could no longer be grabbed.
So sitting there, driving in the dark, 1 am in the morning, with Eli in the seat drivers seat next to me, I wondered if going to Jackson was truly the case. The thing I mainly wanted to do. Was he worth it?
I wanted to say yes, even if I said no, there's no backing out now, because of the fact that we're already on the road, half an hour into this car ride.
Eli noticed my quietness, shortly speaking up. "What's on your mind?"
I don't say anything for a while, just lost in my own train of thought admiring the bright street lights that were reflected from below.
"Just thinking about my childhood.." I finally say.
He slowly nods. The poor guy looked tired, we both were but he was the one in control of the vehicle.
"Was it good or bad?" He then asks me.
I laughed at his question.
"I think my childhood is the definition of bad." I joke, causing him to let out a tired laugh as well.
"Well we're gonna be in this car for god knows how long, so please, share with me how bad yours is and I'll share mine."
I let out a long sigh, this going to be the longest two hours of my life.
-
By the time I finished my one hell of a childhood, the sun was already starting to come up. All Eli could do was let out a shaky laugh, as he just now realized how messed up my life actually is.
"Damn. So you're really not able to catch a break, huh?" he asks, in which I simply nod.
"Hate to say it, but my childhood isn't nearly as bad as yours." He shares.
I nod my head. "Most people aren't."
Suddenly, I glance down at the compass to see that it is now pointing North, throwing off the entire lane we were taking.
"Shit, we went the wrong way. Look" I say, showing Eli the gold compass.
He curses under his breath, looking behind him to see if anyone was visible. With the coast being clear, he switches his lane, and takes the closest exit.
We were now going north of Indianapolis, shortly getting off the highway into a series of bathroom stops, fast food stations, and gas stations.
"We've been driving for a couple of hours. Should we stop for more gas and bathroom?" I ask. Eli nods in agreement, pulling into one of the gas stations in the area.
While Eli pumped gas into the car, I walked in tiredly into the gas station.
I looked around at the place, which was absolutely a mess. Peanut shells covered the floor along with dirt that probably came from five different states. The place entirely smelled like a mixture of a porta potty, and expired black coffee from the 90s.
The shelves were fully stocked, a series of different travel foods and drinks were displayed to me.
Everything and everyone in here looked dull, and by everyone I mean the one person working the cash register.
Glancing at my phone, It was nearly almost 6 am. My stomach fluttered as I pushed myself to hurry because Eli was probably waiting for me.
I grabbed the first thing I saw, which happened to be beef jerky, and two waters.
Walking up to the register, I pushed the four items on the counter for the worker to scan.
He was big, and bulky. He had tattoos covering his entire arm, which was half covered by his black shirt that he wore.
The man didn't seem to talk, instead, just scanned my items and told me my total.
"$7.50"
I reach into my purse, pulling out my wallet, handing the man a 10 for 3 dollars in return.
"Have a good day," he says to me.
"You too."
-
We were back on the road, and eventually Eli and I got back into the swings of conversations.
"So, other then Drew, have you dated anyone?" He asks me randomly.
Here it is: The thing I've been dreading this entire car ride, relationships.
It's not that I didn't like them, but every time I thought about them, I cringed at how naive and careless I was with them.
"Nope. Drew was the only one."
"What about Jackson?"
I wanted to laugh again. "I don't think Jackson counts as a relationship. We only kissed like twice--"
"KISSED?!"
I jump in my seat.
"You didn't tell me you guys kissed! You just told me you were close and shit, but KISSED. Okay, WOW, now this car ride is actually worth a lot more." He laughs.
I was startled by how quickly Eli could regain his energy by the small talk of a kiss.
I let out a small laugh. "Yeah. We did, but the second time he did, he pierced a needle in my arm." I try to joke.
"Please, that's hot."
"ELI-"
"I'm just kidding!"
We both break out into laughter. The two of us were sleep deprived, and ran on a loss of caffeine.
"So. Is he cute?" Eli then asks.
I cringed at the word cute. I wanted to actually jump out the window right now.
"Uh...I don't think cute is the right word."
"Bianca you can just say hot." Eli teases, reading every word from my mind.
"Fine. SURE. A couple aspects of him are--"
"hot.." I force myself to say, immediately regretting it.
"OH MY GOD. Like what?!"
Eli was truly letting his gay man show, which only made me laugh hilariously. "I don't know.. He has cool tattoos. And he smelled like pine, which reminded me of Christmas."
One big smile creeped across Eli's face as he continued to drive. "Ooo, Bianca got a crush."
"We're 21 Eli, not 12." I joke.
"STILL! This is a big thing. Jackson is like your first relationship apart from Drew." He tells me.
I blush just thinking about it. I couldn't help it, and I didn't realize I also had a big smile on my face until Eli pointed it out.
"I'm sensing that this is more than a crush. You're obsessed with everything about him, plus we're literally driving out of state at this point so you guys can get your little dramatic kissing scene like what they do in the movies."
The more I thought about it, the more Eli was right, which was something I never thought I'd think.
Right here, right now, we were driving to him. Driving to Jackson.
"Just admit that you love him Bianca."
"I already told him that," I confess.
"SO you do love him?!
I take a deep breath before saying;
"Yeah, I do love him."