"Just... look inside my mind, I'll think about what I want you too see." Keefe said intently, eyes filled with determination. Sophie tipped her head in confusion, where was he going with this? But instead of wondering any longer she let herself into his mind and focused on the images he was showing her.
~~~
The memory started playing and curiosity over took her as she frowned when she noticed Ro in the corner of Keefe's room, it was a memory maybe from a few months ago. Keefe was at his desk drawing... something. She couldn't see what. It seemed an ordinary day in "the Life of Keefe" so why had he chosen this memory to show her? What was so important about it?
"You have to tell her someday Keefe." Ro said.
Sophie perked up at the noise, picking up on the query. Who was Ro talking about? And once again... why was Keefe telling her?
"I can't do that too her, she's with Fitz now so it's even more complicated." Keefe said, looking... sad?
With... Fitz? She gulped, tensing slightly at this. A mix of emotions inside her as she realized they were probably talking about her. Unless Fitz has been with someone else... but that didn't even make sense. But still. Why her? Her thoughts quieted as she saw Ro turn to speak more.
"Fitz isn't good for her and you know it hunkyhair, a guy shouldn't care so much about a random sparkly list telling him who he can smooch with." Ro said, and than seemed to pretend to slice off her lips... which was very oddly disturbing for multiple reasons Sophie chose not too comtemplate. Besides... she was too busy wondering why in the world Ro and Keefe would be talking about her and her match status. But than her blood turns cold as she realized something.
Wait. She thought, frozen as fear crept inside her.
Did it... bother Keefe that she was unmatchable? Was that what this was all about? Was he going to... leave? The fear inside her turned into a stressed frenzy and Sophie shook her head, trying too push out all those unwanted thoughts. There was no way right? This was Keefe. And he'd acted so swee- nice earlier, so he wouldn't. He couldn't. Leave like this.
She wouldn't be able to bear it.
And that thought alone is what scared her the most, because what if someday she woke up and Keefe wasn't there anymore?
"Um. One," Keefe's voice filled her ears as the memory continued on and Sophie pushed away all those horrid thoughts and placed them in the back of her mind, hoping they'ed never be true. For now she would focus on the topic at hand. Which evidently was Keefe.
"that's not what they're there for, and two I don't think they're sparkly." Keefe said, annoyed, shading the undertones of his sketch, and this time Sophie could see it, shocked to see it was the start of one she'd found tucked into his books only weeks earlier.
"Oh please, all you elves decorate with is sparkles. But seriously you have too agree with me when I say Blondie was right too worry so much about his reaction."
Blondie. That's what Ro always called her, so now she was sure they were talking about her. And Fitz...
"I guess," he mumbled.
Sophie watched, confused at his sullen character, usually full of jokes and pranks and energy but right than... he wasn't. But why?
"Come on Hunkyhair, just say it." Ro started, and Sophie directed her attention back too the memory. Say what?
You're scared to tell her how you feel. You're afraid of rejection, you're heartbreakingly in love with someone who couldn't be more oblivious, you-"
Sophie lifted an eyebrow at Ro's started accusations. She was acting like Keefe has a thing for her. What was she even talking about? Sure Keefe flirted now and than. And he had been acting especially nicer recently. But that didn't mean he had a crush on-
"You're right Okay?!" Keefe yelled, silencing Ro.
Wait.
What?
"You're right that I think Fitz should be better too her, you're right that I'm scared out of my mind too tell her that I smile every time I think of her,"
No. She thought, repeating the words a thousands times over in her head as Keefe prattled on. This couldn't be happening.
"you're right that I fell for someone who wouldn't even know it if I wrote the words on my forehead."
He couldn't mean...
"You're right, you're so right. There I said it. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that why you've been nagging me about it for months? Keefe glared at Ro and Sophie couldn't help but be dumbfounded at the look in his eyes. Keefe was quiet for a few seconds and she assumed that meant the end of the memory. She began to pull herself out of his mind when she heard five simple words.
"I'm in love with her."
Her heart twisted in ways almost unimaginable as she realized his words.
"I'm ridiculously in love with Sophie Elizabeth Foster."
~~~
"I'm ridiculously in love with Sophie Elizabeth Foster."
At first it didn't hit her. At first all she could think about was the word he'd used to describe it.
Ridiculous.
But than...
He'd said...
In love
With Sophie. Elizabeth Foster.
Her mind tried to wrap itself around the conclusion but it didn't work as she repeated those words in her head.
Sophie Elizabeth Foster, Sophie Elizabeth Foster, Sophie Eli... that was her. Right? She wasn't just going crazy at the fact that she'd been inside Keefe's mind? Right? Right?!?
Her breathing turned irregular as she let herself out of his mind and she paled at the thought of him watching her.
This was a joke again. She told herself, trying to control her rapid heart rate.
Right?
Because this was... he was...
It was Keefe.
And that had been his past. And he never went this far in a joke.
Which meant...
He loved her.
She paled at this thought and her doubts almost convinced her she was wrong, but that's when she looked at Keefe, and his expression...
It was full of care and concern, but something deeper, something that could never be concealed again was showing as if it had been there all along.
And that's when she knew it was true.
Her rapid breathing slowed as she thought about this, this couldn't be happening. This was... a dream? Seemed like the most likely option.
"It's true Foster." A nervous voice rang out, silencing her former thoughts and pulling her out of her blanket of denial.
She lifted her head to stare at Keefe as he chewed his lip.
"I um..." he started, looking more nervous than she thought was possible. And if she'd known what he was going to say next she would've clamped her ears shut, so she could stay in her denial. Stay in her bubble that was safe and not confusing or different or pressuring.
"I love you. Foster." Keefe said, and he ran a hand through his hair, as she avoided his gaze. How was she supposed too...
"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. I can fill the silence." Keefe said and cautiously shifted away from her.
"I have for a while now, i just couldn't tell you because of Fitz and... no. I couldn't tell you cause I was..." He paused to think on his answer, skating his head. "No. I am, scared. If this... changes things. And messes us up." He said, and Sophie's heart couldn't help but break along with his statement. Keefe was being so... not Keefe. Vulnerable and honest and... was he blushing?
She almost laughed but caught herself, remembering the weight of the conversation right than. She opened her mouth to respond but couldn't seem too, and that's when his words reached her.
I have for a while now.
But that meant... she hadn't noticed? Had it been days? Weeks? Months?
"A few years." Keefe said, as of guessing her thoughts and her eyes connected with his, he had to be kidding right?
All this time.
And it had been right under her nose.
How had she not seen this?
"You're not joking around... right?" She asked, not sure whether she wanted him to say yes or no.
"I'm not Foster, I would never joke about this... not when it goes this far." Keefe said and she pulled up a hand to yank out an eyelash,
This far...
He meant cause he'd said love right?
The word scare her.
Because it could seem so real and die so easily, and than you'd be scarred for life. A broken heart, and even worse. A broken friendship.
But she couldn't let that happen with Keefe. So... how was she supposed to repair it?
"Keefe I..." She started and he shook his head at her.
"I get it Foster, no need to worry about me." He said and gave her a small forced smile as he got up and walked out of view. She almost got up too talk to him but her legs wouldn't seem too move. She needed too think about this on her own.
Okay Sophie. She told herself. How are you supposed to tell Keefe you don't like him but still be friends and not totally ruin everything?
She racked her brain for answers, remembering how she'd let Dex down. A kiss on the lips... yeah no. She was not going through the same thing with Keefe. Something about it felt far too different with Keefe and way too hurtful. Sadness swept throughout her as she thought about what she had too do.
It wasn't fair was it? That Keefe had such a hard life, his mom was literally evil, his dad had higher expectations than anyone could live up too. Why was everything so unfair? Why did everything bad happen to him?
And yet she just had to admire who he'd become even facing all of those trials. He'd lived through some terrible things but... it had helped him grow. He was a notorious prankster with a detention record a mile long, a flirter with dozens of admires. And even still he didn't let it get to his head. Sure he ranted about his hair sometimes and said things others might have thought we're stuck up... but that's because they hadn't seen the boy behind all the jokes and pranks, they hadn't seen the tears fall from his eyes when Sophie told him his mother may have died, they hadn't watched when he held her in his arms and told her no one would care about her being unmatchable, and they most certainly hadn't watched him protect his friends with such determination.
Keefe was more than what met the eye, he was Keefe freaking Sencen. The guy who'd caught her a few hundred times because of her clumsiness, the one who'd stayed by her when they thought Amy was going to forget Sophie. He'd stood by her.
And that's when Sophie realized it.
She... she liked him. Didn't she?
Do you? She asked herself, and apart of her screamed yes while the other was like... but how?
I do.
The words never felt more true.
She stood up looking around for Keefe,
She had too tell him.
Yes she felt scared.
Yes she was still recovering from Fitz. Yes everything was crazy right now and there was never any guarantees in life.
But for the first time?
She felt free.
A weight lifted off her shoulders she'd never noticed. And now she had to tell him. She passed the trees and raced over too find Keefe's body slumped over.
Concern boiled inside her as she knelt down and shook him awake. Was he okay? He had too be okay.
"What... are you doing?" His voice sounded groggy, as if he'd fallen asleep. And she sighed with relief.
"Keefe. Goodness gracious you got me worried." She said and smiled at him, excitement fizzling inside her in anticipation, she was sure too get an amazing Keefe grin when she told him how she felt. Leaning forward she hugged him, a warm feeling in her heart till he pulled away and she frowned at this, was something wrong?
Her last thought was more true than she'd ever known, because at that moment he asked,
"Who are you?"