Dedicated to MzzHikmah01, your unwavering support is mind-blowing. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm here, guys ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you all for your messages during my mini hiatus, they really mean a lot. My last exam got postponed because of Eid break so I'll be done with my finals on Monday.
It's sad and bizarre, how little we know of things and people we see everyday.
~ADAM~
I was still thinking about Kunle's outburst.
I was actually overthinking to the point that I could feel the onset of a terrible headache.
Kunle's outburst. I've never seen him that livid, that... Angry.
The way Kunle had looked at me before he finally left the studio. I still couldn't wrap my head around it.
I couldn't even start to imagine the magnitude of what made him lose his cool at that. And it was even towards Sophia. That was the second time he'd get angry at her and the two times were because of Aminah.
Aminah.
What could she possibly have done... What could Sophia be hiding about her that was that huge for Kunle to just...
Completely lose his mind.
And Sophia did not even say nothing. After he left, she just sat there, frozen and eyes wide open as if the least expected thing had happened.
Maybe the least expected thing was Kunle finding out the thing he found out but what exactly?
I was done overthinking. I wanted to stop overthinking but I just couldn't stop thinking of all possible things that could have been happening all these while.
Loud whispers, muffled voices, a controlled angry voice.
I did not sit up immediately because I thought I was imagining things. Dad wasn't even at home.
My hands fumbled around my drawing pencils that were lying on my desk and I started to add finishing touches to what I was sketching in my sketch pad. I couldn't even make a sense out of what I was drawing. My hand just kept moving out of its own volition.
"You shouldn't..."
Whatever mom was going to say was interrupted by the sound of glass breaking against the wall followed by a loud yell, a yelp from someone, in mom's voice.
I was up and racing down the stairs before I could even realise what I was doing.
The sight I saw in the living room tore my heart to pieces.
My steps faltered as I neared the last stair. Mom was standing against the left wall of the sitting room, the one adjacent the stairs so she was the first person I saw. She was just standing against the wall, her hands cradling the left side of her side and when I peered closer, I could see the blood that was dropping from her face to the floor, to the floor where there were pieces of broken glass. Thousands of them.
I took one of my step down so I could see dad. He was standing like five feet away from her and they were only separated by that much space and a sofa. He looked angry, which wasn't a surprising. All these boiled down to his anger issues but what was surprising was that he did not only look angry, he looked livid with his Adam's apple bubbling up and down, his face was tightened into a deep scowl and the veins in his forehead were so strained that they looked like they were going to pop anytime soon.
"You..." He started, wagging a finger towards her direction while mom cowered against the wall even more. His voice sounded strained and even more livid than he looked and he started to stalk towards her, right hand moving upwards as if to sleep her. He still did not know I was already in the living room with them.
They both did not know that I was in the living room with them.
"You act all meek and docile as if you're the most supporting wife ever and you actually..." He trailed off, obviously exasperated. The words he was able to get out were through gritted teeth.
"I don't..."
"Don't. say. a. word." He interrupted her. "Don't you dare say a word when it's so glaring what you've been doing... HOW COULD YOU EVEN..."
He actually started to bring his hand down to hit her. It was at that same second mom shrieked and I found my voice.
"Dad."
He momentarily stilled, his hand freezing in mid air and him and mom turned towards my direction at the same time, one looking livid and surprised and the other looking impossibly meek and childlike.
Impossibly meek and childlike.
"Adam, I thought you were asleep."
I snorted. "So you'd have had all the time to beat her to comma and come up with that flimsy excuse that she had a relapse?"
The color drained from his face, turning his face into ashen white and he actually started to say something before he staggered out of the living room.
For a long minute, I said nothing and mom said nothing either. She just kept staring at slammed door and it was only when I walked closer to her that I saw the way she was staring at the space dad just disappeared.
She was staring at it with so much hatred and repulsion that I stilled for a moment, wondering what... I've never seen her like that.
She just kept staring at the closed, without saying anything, the repulsion in her eyes growing by the second. She just stood there, as if she could not even tell I was there with her.
It was... scary.
"Mom." I called out gently and that seemed to jolt her out of her reverie because she turned towards me with an eeriely blank eyes that cleared up immediately her eyes landed on mine.
"Korede," She started with a small smile, a tired smile. "Don't mind your dad... He was just... You know how he gets when he's angry."
Ehn?
After that livid anger? After you stared at the man you were always making excuses for with that much hatred and repulsion?
She was really talking like that!?
"You should go back to your room, I'll just clear this mess." She muttered, more to herself than to me and she actually bent down and she made to start picking the broken glasses with her bare hands.
I did not even know what to make of all this. I was tired! Honestly tired of this very frustrating circle.
"You should go back to your room. I'll just clear them."
But she remained there as if she did not hear me. Even when I went to the kitchen and I returned with a broom and a dust pack, she just remained there, wordless and still as if she was the only one there.
I wanted to ask her about a thousand things.
Why she was still in the marriage that has always been a hell to her?
And what exactly did dad mean by Mom did something?
But I couldn't even voice out any of that.
*******
The next morning which happened to be Aminah's birthday was one of those days when Crescent High students displayed their sheer level of stupidity.
It started with their endless birthday wishes on the group chat.
Then, their extremely loud noises when I got to school. I did not understand the whole excitement about her birthday. It was simply a birthday. The birthday of a girl that hadn't been in school for three days and no one seemed to actually care about that but now, they all wanted to celebrate her.
Heartbreaking, isn't it?
"Pretty boy, are you on your period again?"
The all too familiar voice jolted me out of my reverie and I looked up from where I had been staring blankly at the floor to see Sophia walking towards me, where I sat on one of pavement separating the academic block and the school's Park. The place was often deserted on mornings like this and I had escaped from my class, from my classmates overbearing noise and excitement about a birthday.
Sophia kept walking towards me, a small smile on her face with her two hands tucked into in either of her jacket's pocket. She stopped when she got to me and she sat on the opposite pavement with her gaze intent on me as if she was trying to scrutinise me.
"Are you on your period?" She reiterated with her gaze still scrutinising. "Because it's only when you're on your period that you scowl and frown like that and you stare into blank spaces as if you are trying to study nothingness."
I kept staring at her blankly and I watched as the smile on her slowly dissipated and her facial expression gave way into a blank look.
"Are you mad at me too?"
I said nothing. I just kept staring at her.
"Are you guys ganging up against me? It doesn't look Kunle is going to talk to me anytime soon and you're here, staring at me as if I have horns on my head."
I still said nothing and a quizzical look crossed her face before she muttered profanities underneath her breath, stood and leaned towards me with her two of her fingers positioned as if to flip me on my forehead.
She always do that, in her words, to anchor us back to sanity.
"Why won't Kunle talk to you anytime soon?" I asked and that stilled her movement. Her hand froze in the mid air and an overly solemn look crossed her expression before she leaned backward till she was sitting back on the pavement.
"You saw how he was yesterday. We've been friends for almost 6 years but I've never seen him lose his cool that much." She replied quickly as if she was whispering more to herself than to me and that made my frown to deepen even more.
"You did something that made him lose his cool that much and even though you knew that it was going to affect your best friend this much? You still did it, right?"
She looked at me, stared at me intently as if I just uttered absolute and complete rubbish, as if she did not even expect me to interpret it that way at all. Eventually she looked away and she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I had his best intention at heart."
"He's obviously not thinking about it that way since he's that riled up by it."
"I did what I did to protect him!"
"What did you even do!?" My voice rose a little when I spoke and I instantly regretted it but it was annoying, being caught up in the middle of all these and not even knowing what all these was all about.
"See, Adam..." She started, her left hand pressed against her forehead as if to massage it but I knew that was her clear sign of exasperation. "I don't even..."
"Pretty boy and pretty girl!" Ezekiel yelled from afar and we both dragged a long hiss before turning towards his direction. He was standing right at the second entrance to the academic block and waving vigorously at us as if we were some sort of celebrities that he was seeing for the first time.
Sophia hissed before looking away from him and I heard her mutter;
"When is this one going to have sense?"
I had to shoo him away with my hand because he wasn't even showing any indication that he was going to leave if we did not acknowledge him.
When I looked at Sophia again, she was pressing her phone. Her whole attention was focused on whatever she was reading on her phone and I watched as her expression changed from neutral to confusion to disbelief and then, a full blown frown that I never even thought she was capable of making.
"The fuck is this?" She said, through gritted teeth and with annoyance and anger dripping from her words. That made me jump to my feet and to cross over to where she sat so I could see whatever was eliciting that kind of emotions from her.
"Oh Jesus!" She muttered again and she covered her mouth with her right palm.
"What's going on?" I asked even though I was now standing beside her and I could see the messages that were on her phone except that they looked gibberish and I simply couldn't comprehend a single thing from them.
"Shit! Shit!! Shit!!!" She continued muttering until she stopped suddenly and she looked up with her facial expression almost frozen. She looked like a shitload of realisation just hit her and it wasn't... It wasn't pretty at all.
I was beyond confused.
"My God! Kunle! Kunmi!!"
She jumped to her feet after she said those words in a panic and horror stricken voice and she actually started to walk towards the academic block leaving me even more confused.
Kunle!
Kunmi!!
I repeated the words in my head, slowly as if that was going to make me decipher some kind of meaning behind them. With the way Sophia had said their names, from whatever messages she was reading on our group chat, I knew... I was sure it had to do with Aminah.
I tried to relax, tried to calm my nerves that were threatening to start overworking as I brought out from my pocket, unlocked it, turned my data on, then headed straight for WhatsApp.
I was instantly bombarded with a thousand messages.
My phone just kept vibrating with messages' notifications and ever single one was from our group chat.
And this had to do with Kunle? And even Kunmi?
I had to force myself to remain calm till the messages were done loading which soon proved to be an impossible task my schoolmates were still typing messages. In fact, more than 10 students seemed to be typing at once.
I finally opened the group chat.
The initial messages were full of heart emojis and fire emoticons with heartwarming birthday wishes. I knew that wasn't all there to it so I just kept scrolling down till the whole mood of the group chat changed.
It started with pictures someone sent to the group. There were lots of them, like fifty different pictures that took even longer to download because my phone wasn't on auto download.
And before the pictures could even finish downloading, I could already see some of the messages Crescent High students sent in reply to them.
Na wa oo, so na Aminah wrote all these things. O ga oo. 🤢🥵🥵 I'm beyond repulsed.
I've always known this Aminah of a girl is a demon in disguise. How can a human's mind be this vile?💔💔
Figured out Aminah's mind is as dirty as her skin color.
And to think she was always jumping around, praising and complimenting everyone? So everything was a lie? Omoh, this life na scam oo 💔💔
How sure are we that Aminah actually wrote this thing?
You're not seeing the AA signed at the end of each entry? 😒🙄
Tolase!! The fact that you're doing this to your best friend makes you the most horrible person ever! I don't care what Aminah might have done but you sharing her dairy to the whole student populace makes you the villian of the story.
That was Maribah, one of our most quiet classmates and some students were quick to jump to Tolase's defense.
Abeg, don't judge Tolase ooo. Infact we need more people, let them expose the real identity of this people, Abeg.
Seconded.
Thirded.
The messages I was reading were only fuelling my anxiety the more. Aminah's dairy? What did she write? What could she gave done to make people turn on her this easily and quickly.
What...
I held my heart and scrolled up to see the contents of her supposed dairy by myself.
Nothing prepared me for what I saw.
The pictures were obviously snapped photos from a notepad, a dairy and I could clearly see the entries on the pages.
Ever wanted to be something so much but you can't so you just end up loathing that thing?
A.A
It's always fun to watch Sophia's uneasiness whenever Kunle is talking to another girl or showing interest in another girl when he's not even looking at her like that...
A.A
I frowned and I momentarily stopped reading. What was she talking about? The entry was dated sometimes around SS2 third term and that before she even started dating Kunle. So wait, she knew of Sophia's feelings? And it was even before she started dating Kunle!?
No way! That wasn't possible! She had no idea. All these while she had been together with Kunle and Sophia was hurting inside? She couldn't have possibly known. That made no sense. It simply did not add up.
I kept reading the entries and most of them were about us, I meant Kunle and Sophia. Things about them that even I did not know and all these were dated before Kunle and Aminah even started dating.
We existed on different stratum then. Aminah was just a loud voice and a pretty face. We never paid any attention to her.
We never paid attention to anything or anyone.
And that was until Kunle said he liked her out of the blues and they even started which automatically made her a part of us.
Out of the blues...
Sophia is so proud and stuck up. She never pays attention to anyone or anything around her. Does she think she rules the world? Just because she's a popular face and a teenage celebrity does not give her the right to trample over everybody!
A.A
No way! She has always liked and admired Sophia. She allowed Sophia to walk over her, to trample over her because... No fucking way!
Wonder if Sophia would still be this happy if she has her favourite person snatched right outta her hands? Wonder how it'd feel like to watch her up close and see her that miserable if I should become Kunle's girlfriend, if I could become Kunle's girlfriend!
A.A
Wait! Hol'up. I stood up! What?
What? It couldn't be what I was thinking, right? She couldn't possibly have... She loved Kunle, she was enamored by him. She couldn't possibly have started dating Kunle because she wanted to spite Sophia. She couldn't possibly have...
That just wasn't reasonable at all.
Kunle is just an emotionally scared boy, forever driven by the need to have someone's undiluted attention and love. He'd forever be emotionally vulnerable because of his mom. Sophia should have capitalised on that and she'd have had him on a platter of gold but unfortunately for her and fortunately for me, she did not and now, this is giving me an opening into manipulating Kunle into thinking he's in love with me when in reality, he only likes the complete and total attention.
A.A
Nooo! I really had to stop reading. This wasn't it! This just wasn't... How could this be possible? Kunle? Emotionally vulnerable? Manipulated Kunle into thinking he's in love with her?
What on earth is going on again?
And Kunle was somewhere reading this? I felt my heart clench at that realisation. How was he going to take this? Handle this?
Was everything with Aminah really a lie?
Sophia is skipping the summer coaching. This might just be the perfect time to talk to Kunle since she wouldn't be around to hover over him like a mother hen.
Overheard Kunle's heated conversation with his mom, struck a conversation with him afterwards. He seemed surprised that I was genuinely worried about him but we ended up talking and talking and the next day, he was the one that seek me out. Like I said, he's the most emotionally vulnerable person ever!
A.A
I blanked out for a minute after reading that entry. Then, reread it to understand it but I could not comprehend the meaning. She did what to who? To Kunle who...? God! No!
The grip on my phone tightened and I really had to force myself to stop reading. I couldn't go on reading other entries in the diary, couldn't go on reading about the vile things she must have done. There was no need finding out about any of that. I just needed to try to salvage the situation, if that was possible again.
I started to walk towards the academic block, reminding myself over and over again not to peer at the messages, reminding myself that I just had to get to Kunle.
My God! Kunle! Kunmi!!
I stopped in my tracks.
Sophia had mentioned Kunmi is that same panic stricken voice before she ran off.
Does that mean there were things that had to do with Kunmi in the dairy entries? Something horrible and probably even terrible than that of Kunle and Sophia? Heck! That can't be possible! She was the first person that was nice to her when she joined our school. I clearly remember how she treated Rahmon because of him so Kunmi should be out of the whole issue.
But that did not alleviate my fears. Did not stop me from unlocking my phone and reading the messages.
I'd always remember Sophia's expression when Kunle told him he likes a girl, that horror filled eyes. I loved it! And she had gone ahead to ask him "Aminah, remind me who she is again." Of course, she wouldn't be able to put a face to my name. After all, to her, I was just one of the many faces of Crescent High. Too bad, I'd have to be in her face from now on whether she likes it or not.
A.A
I ignored all other messages after that and I just kept scrolling to the entries around the time we resumed SS2.
The first entry I saw knocked the breath out of me.
So, there's this new ridiculously fat girl in school today. She's so fat and ugly that she doesn't deserved to be talked to . No-one is talking to her , I mean , who would? she repulse me! I can't imagine talking to her or looking like her . I'd have probably committed suicide a long time ago. people are mean to her and she definitely deserves that! No-One hould look like her! MEHN! she look so horrible!"
A.A
Oh Fuck!
I read it twice, slowly this time around as if that'd change the content of the entry.
Aminah did not just write that about Kunmi!
She couldn't possibly have. Kunmi was her friend. She was someone who choose to befriend Kunmi way before any other person did so this wasn't possible.
This couldn't be possible.
But if all other entries were true, then this... This must be true too.
I just needed to get to Kunmi.
********
The hallway of the SS3 block was crowded when I got there and everyone seemed to be talking in animated voices. I knew they were all talking about the whole dairy stuff but that was the least of my concern right now.
I just needed to get to Kunmi and stop her from reading the contents of the dairy.
"What's going on in SS3 Block? Why isn't the time keeper ringing the bell? Don't you know it's time for assembly?"
That was Mr Osafsai's voice from somewhere in the building and the students that were gathered in the hallway started to scamper away, still talking loudly, still overly excited about the gist they'd keep talking about for weeks to come.
The crowd in the hallway lessened but there was still no trace of Kunmi.
I was starting to think she hadn't gotten to school.
That she hadn't even gotten a chance to know about what was happening in school at all.
Untill I saw her.
She was standing right there, in the hall, looking disconnected and disoriented as hell.
She was also holding her phone in her hand, eyes fixed on the screen.
When she looked up, her expression, her horror filled expression and dread filled eyes confirmed my fears.
She had seen it.
**********
~KUNMI~
My throat felt like I was breathing on needles and like I was choking on pins.
There was a whirling sound in my ears as if my ears had been blocked from the outside and all I could hear was my own thoughts and the words I was reading to myself from my phone.
The words I still couldn't believe. The words Aminah had allegedly written but couldn't possibly have written.
She was my friend, the closest thing to a best friend I've ever had. She believed in me even when I couldn't possibly think of believing in myself but now, this?
Maybe this was all staged. It was all a plan by Sophia to get me to hate Aminah. The contents in the dairy were simply too vile to be Aminah's. She was the calmest person, the coolest person, the most humane person ever. She was literally an angel and it just wasn't possible for her to harbour that much repulsion in her heart.
I realized I was curled up in the corner of a room.
I did not even realise that.
The last thing I remembered was Adam was making his way towards me in the hallway but now, it seemed like... I looked around to see the rows of musical instruments and I instantly knew I was in the old music studio. I had no idea how I got here but I knew I needed to get away.
I couldn't stay there and allow people to see me after reading that about me.
My phone was on the floor, deserted and I stared at it, at the figure of doom. I couldn't bear to pick it up and continue reading.
I couldn't bear to but my hands had a mind of their own because before I knew it, I was holding my phone in my hands and I was opening the group chat. The first words that stared right back were the ones I read earlier.
"So, there's this new ridiculously fat girl in school today. She's so fat and ugly that she doesn't deserved to be talked to . No-one is talking to her , I mean , who would? she repulse me! I can't imagine talking to her or looking like her . I'd have probably committed suicide a long time ago. people are mean to her and she definitely deserves that! No-One hould look like her! MEHN! she look so horrible!"
I still couldn't wrap my head around those words. I couldn't believe them. Aminah wrote those words about me?
Fat. Ugly. Doesn't deserved to be talked to. She repulse me. Horrible.
The words stared right back, growing bigger and bigger the more I stare at them till they were imprinted in my memory.
I slide to the next entry and the next and the next.
I kept reading the entries, kept feeling my heart getting sliced and twisted as I read more words and words which was written by my first and best friend in school.
She's always looking so pitiable, so out of it, as if she does not belong here and that's true. How'd someone like her even belong here?
Noticed how she took so long in the dressing room today. Of course, she was supposed to feel terrible changing into that gym wear. Who would want to harm their eyes by seeing her after changing? Was she even supposed to allow anyone see her like that?
My fingers stilled over the screen. I couldn't slide unto the next picture. I couldn't... It was only after I saw a tear drop on the phone's screen that I realised I was crying. My chest felt heavy as if something heavy was pressing against it. My heart was constricting heavily against my ribcage, as if it was going to burst out from the amount of pain slicing through it.
I couldn't articulate it.
I couldn't describe it.
The amount of pain and hurt that was coursing through my veins.
I remember clearly how Aminah had stood up for me against Rahmon that day, how she had made me feel seen and loved...
How she had volunteered to be sit up partner that day... But this was her real feelings? This was how she truly felt.
The tears wouldn't stop coming now.
My defiant self still wouldn't stop reading.
She's not eating... I've never seen her in the cafeteria. Does she not eat or does she feel horrible eating with people? True, she deserves to feel horrible eating with people. Does she even deserve to eat at all? But no matter what she feels with eating with people, I'm going to invite her to the cafeteria. I know she won't turn me down. She'd probably do anything I want her to. She's desperate for a friend and I'll be that friend to her.
P.S: I need to see how horrible she'll look while eating.
I should stop reading.
My tears were coming out in torrents now. I could feel the wheezes coming, feel the hiccups coming.
This was all a nightmare.
It had to be a nightmare.
I remember the kind of heart warming I had felt when Aminah noticed I hadn't been going to the cafeteria, how she had invited me to the cafeteria afterwards and how she had introduced me as her friend to Adam and co afterwards.
But everything... Everything was because of this?
I choked back a sob.
The tears were blurring my vision now, making it hard to read the contents of the dairy but I still pressed on even though I knew I should stop.
I shouldn't continue reading.
I was right. She really looked horrible while eating. She really had to choke and embarrass herself in front of everybody. Pathetic big thing. I had to remind myself not to laugh. But it was exhilarating to watch.
The tears wouldn't stop coming. The pain wouldn't stop coursing through my entire body, my heart wouldn't stop hurting as if someone was twisting a knife in it.
I'm inviting her to my parents' wedding anniversary soon. She'll definitely come because she wouldn't want to disappoint me. Wonder what it'd feel like to watch her feel that uncomfortable with that much people at the party. Wonder how it's feel like to watch her embarrass herself in front of that much people.
I stopped reading.
I had to stop.
I just couldn't continue, couldn't bring myself to find out more about the real Aminah.
About the other things she must have written about me.
Who's ready to find out more about the real Aminah?
If you were in Kunmi's position, would you have really continued reading?
Hmmmm... Looks like we're here 💔💔💔 Aminah is... Sadly, she's not who we all thought she was. She was nice to Kunmi at the beginning? But now, we all know what her true intentions were 💔💔💔😭😭😭. While you were all calling her an angel and a god sent back then, I really did not know whether to cry or laugh at the sheer ignorance.
How do you think Kunmi will handle this betrayal?
And Kunle? Guysss😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 He was just totally played and manipulated. I can't even 💔💔💔
And do you really think Sophia knew about all these and actually just decided to remain quiet and play the villian?
What do you think is going to happen now?
It get worse in the next chapter so 😪😪😪 forgive me in advance.
See you, hopefully, on Wednesday ❤️❤️❤️