episode 25
~ trent gets schooled ~
"greetings, puke puddles! tomorrow is 'yearbook photo day' and, while i'm not sure why anyone would want record of this awkward phase of your lives, uh, i'll be your photographer. oh, and don't blink, 'cause homie don't do retakes!"
"please never say homie again," val furrowed her eyebrows as principal perry left the cafeteria.
"i am so getting my hair done right after school."
"oh! can you bring me back some clippings off the floor? i need 'em to finish building my 'taj mahair,'" adam informed, picking up a structure of hair and placing it on the table, only tiring the hispanic girl two seats away from him even more.
"where did all of that hair come from?"
"pets, shower drains, brushes—if you want it, you can get it."
"that's not disturbing," val awkwardly scratched her neck, crossing her arms on the table and resting her head when she once again got ignored.
"well, that is disgusting."
"yeah. well, if you think that's gross, wait until you see 'buckinghair palace.'"
"why are you so concerned about a stupid yearbook photo?" leo asked right when chase passed by.
"i am still trying to live down last year's picture when i wasn't ready for the flash and my eyes glitched."
"it adds flavor," val shrugged when bree showed them the picture. the three boys nodded in agreement after they groaned.
"bree, your zombie picture was the least of the problems with the yearbook. perry photo-bombed every group picture," chase spoke, listing the clubs as valerie flipped the pages without looking up. "drama club, cheerleaders, swim team-"
"no! no, no, no!" leo snatched the book, shutting it before they could get to the image. "none of us need to see that again."
"you're coming with me, so clear your schedule," bree told val, running her hand through the latter's hair.
"you look perfect already," val's voice was muffled, making it harder for adam and bree to understand what she had said.
"awh, thanks babe, but that doesn't change things."
"at least you tried," adam clicked his tongue, taking some food off of bree's tray in the process.
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
"i heard a scream, what happened?" val geo-leaped into the lab, spotting a very angry bree looking at her messed up hair in a toaster reflection.
"what did you do?"
"i did what i had to do. your hair was collateral damage to a world gone mad!"
"i should've just dropped you off and gone home."
"the yearbook picture is tomorrow. what am i supposed to do about my hair?"
"well, for starters, you should put on a hat. it's really offensive."
"adam!" the balderas girl whisper shouted, tossing the toaster at adam and analyzing bree's hair. "you could try a wig?"
"why don't you just go back to the salon and get the same haircut on the other side?"
"you burned it off! a salon can't fix this!"
"well, then why are you paying 'em all that money?"
"mister davenport!"
"wow! you look awful."
"men need to learn when to keep their mouths shut."
"we really should," adam sighed. "oh well."
"what, did you lose a bet?"
"no, adam did this."
"why would you let adam cut your hair? that's on you, girly."
"it was an accident, but you can fix this, right? i mean, you've gotta have some kind of fancy davenport hair growth solution."
"why would i have that?"
"i don't know, because you wear that crazy wig."
"this is my real hair."
"oh, that's even sadder," adam chuckled, moving to the side.
"take me with you."
"how am i supposed to take a yearbook photo tomorrow with half of my hair missing?"
"well, it can't be any worse than last year," mister davenport imitated a zombie, making it hard for val to keep in her laughter. "i'm kidding. don't worry, i'm sure i can modify some over-the-counter hair growth serum to regrow your hair overnight. i'm kind of busy, but i can probably go later-"
"do it now!" bree ordered in a demonic voice, frightening donald before grabbing valerie and dragging her out of the lab.
"bubs, please calm down."
"how am i supposed to be calm? adam. burnt. off. my. hair!"
"please don't raise your voice, my ears are still sensitive from when you ranted about chase and adam's pranks."
"i'm sorry," bree scrunched up her face, her voice being back to normal. "i just don't want another bad photo."
"you won't get another bad photo, sonic. mister davenport will fix something up for you, and everything will be back to normal in the morning when i come pick you and the morons up for school, alright?"
"let's hope you're right," the younger girl glanced down, melting into valerie's hug. "what would i do without you?"
"yell at people in a demonic voice?"
"very funny. don't you have band rehearsals to go to?"
"oh, thank god."
"what?"
"nothing."
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
"okay, i got here as fast as i could."
"don't you have classes?"
"teachers love me," this hispanic shrugged, jumping when bree faced her, revealing all the hair that had grown overnight. "you look go-"
"save it!"
"yes ma'am."
"fix my face!"
"i don't know what went wrong. i triple-checked the formula, and it's correct."
"okay, well then why do i look like a general from the civil war?"
"the only other explanation is that the cream was applied incorrectly. how much did you use?"
"i only used a little bit like you said, and then adam did the back-"
"ohh."
"that explains things," val muttered, jumping onto the table.
"hold on," bree sped off, returning with adam, who she pushed onto a stool.
"hey! what are you doing? i'd just fallen asleep in math class."
"how much of that hair cream did you use on me?"
"all of it," adam snorted.
"what?" mister davenport and bree shouted in unison.
"well, i accidentally squeezed out too much, and i didn't want hairy hands, so i had to wipe it somewhere. oh, man, now i do want hairy hands."
"couldn't you have washed your hands?"
"i cannot get my yearbook picture taken looking like this."
"well, if you do, i want an eight by ten, two coffee mugs and a mouse pad."
"i'll take—nothing. i'll take nothing," val cowered under bree's glare.
"i will look for a more permanent solution, but for now just cut off the excess hair for the photo."
"okay, but hurry up! i can't be seen like this. do you have any idea what people will call me?"
"oh, i have plenty of ideas."
"you're not helping!"
"mean people might call you 'sparky the dog-face girl,' but i'd call you 'pooches the dog-face girl,' because that's a girl's name," adam added.
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
"trent is the new gym teacher?"
"yup."
"oh god."
"hey, we saw the yearbook. you take quite a photo, 'hairy mary.'"
"yeah, the junior class just renamed you 'señorita sasquatch.'"
"eh, i'm not too worried. people are gonna forget all about my picture when they see what we did to adam."
"i had no part in this," valerie waved her hands as adam walked into the school.
"hey, bree, i don't know where you got that hair gel you gave me, but i'm loving it!"
"okay, i'm done here," val sighed, pecking her girlfriend on the lips and running up the stairs in search of jenna.
~~~
should i post all the drafts i currently have or would you guys rather wait until i finish the book so that i can spam update?