A/N: I miss you guys! It's been so long because I'm working on school for now, so I will try to update when I can. However, I'm warning that you all should pay attention to the differences between italics and regular print. It'll make more sense that way, as always lol. Hopefully your teachers back in second grade taught you that italics is a flashback, if not, call me your teacher. It's insanely short, but I hope you all love it! The ending is... well, just read! Love y'all!
~CasuallyMe
Falling
Here we are, together
And everything between us is good
I'm right here in this cloud, baby
Ready to fly but before I take
Another step
Would you catch me if I fall for you?
'Cause I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
I'm so used to standing
So used to being on my own
But this thing is new, baby
It feels like I'm losing control
I'll take another step
If you catch me when I fall for you
'Cause I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
Will you promise to be there?
Stay by my side always?
Whenever I need you
Don't let me down, no, no
If I give you my all, don't let me fall
Would you do that for me, hold me?
Will you love, will you love me?
My heart is ready
For love and to be loved
And I chose you, baby
That's the one thing I'm sure of
So I will take this one last step
So catch me, I'm falling for you
I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling, I'm falling
"Fall for You" - Leela James
Tensions were high at the Livingston home in California. Joshua had called them to let them know that he loved them all, to tell each of them that he held nothing against them, and that if he happened to die, for them to not worry and take care of his beautiful wife and child. Needless to say everyone had tears streaming down their faces and wanted to jump in their cars and take off towards the shore house, but Joshua made them promise to not. Cameras were watching, and the last thing he needed was for this to blow up, and give their antagonists what they wanted-- publicity.
Their eyes were dry now as they huddled around the phone together, Naomi on the other line. No one was saying anything, they were just waiting. Waiting was the only thing they could do, and they were all hoping Joshua was handling his business. Never had a meeting meant so much, never had a meeting been so important to them, but this was a life-changer for each and every single one of them.
Naomi was grateful that she didn't have to go through this alone, that she had her family to hold her hand through it all. She was genuinely petrified of the outcome. She wanted to keep her thoughts positive and happy, but it was close to impossible when the love of her life's life was being threatened. He didn't deserve it. He was the sweetest, most caring, loving, happy, and genuine man she knew. That's why she married him. She couldn't figure out why anyone in their right mind would want to hurt him.
******************************************
Naomi was a mess. To tell a woman, especially a pregnant one with heightened hormones, that there was a possibility her husband would die was a slap in the face. It's as if you are about to take away her entire world... well for Naomi. Joshua was her everything, and just when she had begun to get used to the fact, someone told her that he could be taken away. She wasn't sure if she could handle the stress, especially with the birth of their child being so close. She wasn't sure if she could be strong for his family. She wasn't sure who would be the rock, considering everyone, including America, was in love with her husband.
She couldn't sleep, and quite frankly, she didn't understand how in the hell her husband's eyes were even closed. She was determined to spend as much time with him as possible. She was tracing his features with a finger lightly, smiling softly to herself. He was still so beautiful, even in his sleep. She cooed as her finger scrolled carefully over his eyelids, remembering his kind, hazel eyes. Her finger trailed to his perfect, pink lips, and Naomi leaned to kiss them. What she didn't expect was a response, and jumped away.
"Babe," she whispered, making sure she wasn't just crazy.
"Yes?" He answered with a small laugh.
"You scared me!" She screeched as Joshua sat up, his hand on her thigh under the cover.
"I'm sorry, but you have been touching me for at least an hour and a half."
"And you've been up the whole time?"
"No. It's actually very relaxing, but when you touched my eye, it made me wake up," Joshua smiled softly. Naomi couldn't help but smile back as Joshua pulled her back closer to him, holding her in his arms as he leaned against the headboard, his hand on her protruded stomach.
"Why aren't you sleeping, honey?" He questioned in the night.
"You know why," Naomi muttered back as she turned slightly to meet his eyes. "I'm scared."
"Baby," Joshua sighed as he kissed her forehead. "I will be back, we will spend every waking second together until I assure you that this isn't a dream, and that nothing happened to me."
"I know, babe, and I know you will return to me, it's just..." she trailed with a huff as she felt her tears gathering again.
"It's what?"
"It's... we've only been together for two and a half years, Josh! I've only had thirty months with you, only two birthdays, two Christmases, three New Years, two Thanksgivings, it's not enough!" She protested. "It's not enough for me. Your family has had thirty-five, almost thirty-six years with you. I want that, I want to have you for thirty-six years. I want to experience thirty-six more birthdays with you, and this is jeopardizing my time. You know I love you, Josh, I'm sick with love, and... I don't know," Naomi sighed. She had been talking about she and Joshua and the bumps in their relationship for what seemed like forever, and what was supposed to be a fun getaway quickly turned into another bump. She was tired of the bumps, she just wanted to love him.
"I promise you at the very least another thirty-six years, honey, I just have to do this for today. It's one meeting, one hour, and I'm back to you. We have two more days to spend together here, and I will make those the best two days you have ever spent with me," he assured, or at least tried to. Naomi buried her head into his chest as she lifted his hand in hers and gripped tightly.
"I'm scared," she repeated lowly. "What do you want from me? How do you want me to process this without freaking out?"
"Babe, it's okay to freak out. I probably would if this situation was reversed."
"I'm sorry," she huffed as she lifted her eyes to his, then framing his face with her right hand. "I love you, Joshua. I love you so much that I'm hurting, hurting ridiculously bad right now. I want to be happy, I want to not think about it, but it's not that easy," Naomi huffed. She searched Joshua's eyes and could sense a slight bit of fear, but she knew that as he searched hers, he would encounter immense amounts of fear.
Suddenly, Joshua leaned down and kissed her lips. With as much passion as he could muster, he kissed her hard. He wanted to kiss her uncertainty away, all he ever wanted to do was comfort her, and that's why he kissed her in such a way. Joshua pulled away once he noticed both of their lungs laboring harder than they had to, and smiled softly at her.
"Can I take you somewhere?" He whispered against her lips with a small peck.
"Josh, honey, it's three in the morning," Naomi frowned.
"I want to, please?" He plead as Naomi shook her head, knowing she couldn't resist him for long.
"Fine," Naomi agreed as she giggled and Joshua beamed at her.
"Good," he kissed her again.
"But!" Naomi halted him from standing from the bed.
"Oh gosh. Perks of being married to the best lawyer in the country," Joshua grumbled.
"We have to bring the agents--"
"All of them?!" Joshua howled.
"No, just at least five--"
"Five?!" Joshua screeched. He quickly rounded the bed to Naomi's side, and began pressing his lips down her neck, a trick Naomi was all too familiar with.
"Joshua," Naomi warned.
"I need to have you alone," he whispered as Naomi pushed his head away only to see his disappointed face.
"Baby, no. I love you, I want you safe," Naomi muttered as her husband stood with a sigh.
"Fine, let's just hurry up and go."
"Good boy," she smirked as Joshua helped her pregnant, wobbling body out of the bed.
*********************************************
Joshua held the door open for Naomi as the couple waltzed into the diner Joshua frequented in his youth. The aroma of Franny's Famous Southern Chicken Noodle soup filled his nose along with her specialty blueberry pancakes. Memories of the fun he had in that diner rushed to him, and he couldn't believe he had had the opportunity to bring his wife, the woman he loved more than anything.
"It smells amazing in here," Naomi all but purred as the couple took a seat in a booth. Immediately, Joshua took his wife's hand over the table and gave her that star, boyish grin.
"I wanted to show you where Jacob and I spent most of our time when we were kids. If I wasn't president, Franny would probably never believe I'm married."
"So, let's get to it. How many girls have you brought here?" Naomi questioned as she squinted her eyes, watching him carefully.
"Uhm..." trailed Joshua.
"I'm listening."
"Okay, let's go with seven--"
"You tramp!" Naomi laughed loudly, teasing her husband.
"What?! I gave you the absolute bare minimum!"
"Who was the most recent?"
"My beautiful wife and First Lady, none other than the Mrs. Naomi Livingston. The woman who I have completely committed my heart, soul, and life to," he answered in the most charming voice with a smirk.
"Babe, besides me! Cut the bull."
"Okay, okay," he chuckled. "The most recent time I brought a girl here was eight years ago, and her name was Katharine, Katharine Newgold."
"Was she hot?"
"What?" Joshua quirked his eyebrow as he stared quizzically at his wife.
"I've never heard anything about any of your past girlfriends," Naomi shrugged.
"I mean..." Joshua gulped, his heart pounding. "She was okay...?" He trailed, unsure.
"I don't think you would date anyone 'okay,'" Naomi taunted.
"What am I supposed to say? Compared to you, she was trash."
"Good answer," Naomi giggled as Joshua took a large breath. "I want to kiss you," Naomi mumbled as she squeezed her husband's hand.
"Do it," he smirked as he leaned closer.
"Babe, no," Naomi halted as she pressed her hand to her husband's chest.
"What? What's wrong?"
"There are five big men watching us, honey."
"They're not going to say anything, what can they do? I'm president."
"I know, it's just..."
"Well, we could've snuck out by ourselves, but Mrs. Goodie Two Shoes here--"
"I'm sorry," Naomi winced as she lifted Joshua's hand to kiss it, and he smirked at her.
"What was that?"
"The closest you'll get until we get back to the beach house."
"What's waiting at the beach house?"
"Sex," Naomi shrugged as Joshua gasped almost loudly.
"Naomi!" He chuckled, his face heating up.
"What?"
"Nothing, you just complained about the agents--"
"I know, but there's always the pool house we can be by ourselves in."
"Why not in our room?"
"Babe, you proposed to me in that pool house, we made love more times than anything in that pool house, and we will do it yet again. Plus, I cannot scream your name while Regina the other big men are on the same floor."
"Scream my name, huh?" Joshua whispered as Naomi blushed.
"You know sometimes--"
"All the time," Joshua corrected.
"Okay, you know all the time we are loud."
"No."
"No?" Naomi frowned deeply.
"No. I'm not making love to you, not until you kiss me right here at this table," Joshua winked as his wife erupted with giggles and laughs.
"Okay, fine," Naomi shook her head as she lifted her hand to her husband's cheek, and stared into his eyes. "I love you so much more because you make me laugh and smile."
"I love you so much more because you laugh and smile at me," Joshua grinned back widely. Finally, Naomi leaned to meet his lips briefly, and couldn't help but feel the rush of butterflies that filled her stomach, even when they had been together for so long. He had an affect on her that she prayed and hoped would never go away.
"One more," Naomi spoke as she kissed his lips softly again before sitting back down in her seat.
After an hour of laughing and talking, as always, the Livingstons as well as their agents headed back toward the beach house. Naomi had begun to trudge up the stairs, ready to give Joshua what she had promised, but her husband had other plans. Joshua gripped her hand before she could take the second step, and Naomi turned to him with a hiked eyebrow. Joshua pulled her back closer without a word, kissed her hand, then led her to the sunroom the couple was in love with. As they entered, Joshua silently dropped Naomi's hand and waltzed over to the music dock that was plugged into the wall of the room.
"What are you--"
"I don't know, I think this will be fun," Joshua shrugged as Naomi stared at him.
"And what shall we be doing?"
"Do you have your phone?" Joshua questioned as Naomi nodded suspiciously, pulling the sleek device from the clutch she held in her hand. She stretched it toward Joshua, but he shook his head. "Now, I want you to choose a song and we'll play it and dance to it, whichever one you want."
"You're quite the romantic, huh?" Smiled his wife as she walked to where he was standing, setting her phone on the doc. Joshua waited patiently as he watched his wife bite her bottom lip in search of the perfect song. He knew she had a good taste in music, so he was excited to see what she would select. Finally, Naomi chose a song and turned toward her husband with a smile.
"May I have this dance?" Joshua bowed slightly as he heard the short piano intro.
"Of course," Naomi replied lowly as she placed her hand in his, letting him take her to the middle of the room, and he spun her around to take in his wife in her simplicity. Her hair was thrown up, her face was almost makeup-less, and she was clad in a pair of his sweat pants and a shirt of his. She looked beautiful.
"You look amazing," Joshua complimented as he pulled her close, finally hearing the woman sing.
"Shhh! Stop flirting and listen to the words," Naomi giggled as her arms tied around her husband's neck.
The two swayed to the soft music as Naomi huffed, closing her eyes tight. The song had so much power in its words, and it was beginning to make her even more emotional than she had already been.
Would you catch me if I fall for you?
'Cause I'm falling
I'm falling
I'm falling
Yes. They had been married for eight months, but with each and every single day, Naomi fell harder and harder for the man she had promised her life to. She grew more and more scared that her love was becoming too much, but she also grew closer and closer to Joshua who assured her that he would never hurt her. She trusted him, however, it was simply different for her to be in this space. Even after two and a half years of getting to know herself with Joshua, she still wasn't sure what would happen if he ever did hurt her, or if he got hurt in the meeting they were both anticipating. All she wanted was for her baby, her Joshua, the love of her life to come back unharmed, anything less would completely tear her down.
This thing is new, baby.
It feels like I'm losing control.
She felt as if as was spiraling out of control when it came to her emotions, and a part of her wished she could go back to being almost emotionless, but the other part of her knew that the feeling, the love she had for her husband, was something she had been missing out on for too long, and she wasn't willing to experience being without it ever again. She knew that she would do what she had to in order to keep their child safe if he happened to leave her world, but she knew she would never be the same.
Through the song, Naomi was silently pleading for two things: one, for Joshua to promise to not leave her alone in this world. And two, to never let her fall and not catch her, to never hurt her and stay with her. She just hoped she wasn't asking too much. She was beyond sick, drunk, and crazy in love-- she was ill, intoxicated, and insanely in love with one man, and three years prior, that would've seemed impossible, yet there she was, swaying and begging her husband to never leave nor hurt her.
"Yes," Joshua whispered to his wife as they continued to sway. Naomi's eyes almost immediately began to water as she buried her head in her husband's neck, in search of a safe place. "You know I will catch you. I know you're scared, but I'm still falling just like you are."
"Do you get scared? About loving me?"
"No," Joshua answered swiftly with a small chuckle. "I know that you love me more than anything in this world. What I don't understand is why you're so scared."
"Because... I don't know if it's too much. I don't know if I can overwhelm you because I say I love you all the time. It's scary to think that even maybe I'm not saying it or showing it enough, which is the opposite of what I feel--"
"Did I marry you?" Joshua whispered as Naomi nodded. "That means I trusted that you will give me the amount of love that I crave. I trusted that you wouldn't overwhelm me, but instead shower me with love. It's not overwhelming, it's actually very flattering. It's absolutely epic to see the lengths you will go to just to protect me and love me. You're my mama bear, the person willing to kill for my wellbeing, and you'll always be that for me. I want you to promise me something," Joshua encouraged.
"Okay," his wife muttered back lowly.
"Promise me to stop worrying so much. Promise me that you will stop calculating your feelings and just feel them. Promise me to use your heart, not your head."
"Babe--"
"Yes or no, Naomi? I want the rest of our lives to be living in the moment, not trying to figure out everything before it happens."
"Y-yes," Naomi agreed immediately. "Yes, I promise to live in the moment and to stop thinking so much."
"See, that wasn't hard," Joshua smiled as Naomi lifted her eyes to meet his. Joshua rose his right hand to frame the left side of her face, their eyes never parting.
"It's easier said than done--"
"Which is why I'm here," he quickly reminded her.
Will you promise to be there?
Stay by my side, always?
Whenever I need you?
Don't let me down
No, no.
If I give you my all, don't let me fall
"I need you so much, Josh. I have never depended on anyone as much as I have depended on you."
"And you know I will never take advantage of that fact."
"I do," sighed Naomi as she leaned up to greet his lips. As the song began the last repeat of the chorus, the president and First Lady were bound in lip lock, speaking everything through a kiss that they didn't have enough time to speak through words.
"I love you," Joshua whispered against his wife's lips. "And I won't let you fall alone."
"I love you," Naomi confessed with a heart as full, if not even more, than it was when she first spoke those three words to him. "And I won't let you fall alone, either. We're in this together?"
"Together," Joshua assured as the two sealed their promises with a kiss.
"Good. Now, take me to bed," Naomi all but demanded as Joshua chuckled against her lips, taking her hand in his and leading her to the master bedroom, prepared to make love to the one and only love of his life.
*********************************************
Naomi was rocking. She was cuddled on the couch in the room the agents rushed her off to with a cover, and she was remembering her and her husband's last twenty-four hours together. She knew it could all disappear and that alone frightened her. The idea that she could possibly never kiss him, never hug him, never laugh with him or tease him ever again was the problem. It wasn't that she thought he couldn't protect himself and his country. It wasn't that she didn't want to go to war if he happened to be hurt. It was, however, the fact that she was selfish. She couldn't lose him, she couldn't breathe without him. She realized she had said that countless times, but it was true.
"Madam First Lady," an agent called as Naomi jumped up.
"Yes?"
"They're in the meeting now. The president is completely by himself with the leader of the radicals."
"Thank you, I'll let his family know," Naomi nodded as she lifted her phone to her ear. "He's in, they're talking."
"Okay," her mother in law replied. "God, please watch over my baby," Elaine muttered a small prayer followed by a sigh.
********************************************
Joshua had gone through the entire meeting and worked out the details of his new policy concerning Iraq, Iran, and Ukraine. He was happy that it was over, that he could breathe, that his family could breathe. As he stood, buttoning his jacket, Joshua shook the radical leader's hand and wished him well in Arabic. Agent Thompson waited until the leader was out, and made the calls to assure everyone the president was alright. Joshua could practically hear Naomi's sigh and smiled to himself once Agent Thompson informed him that his wife was rushing over with her guards only three blocks away.
Joshua watched his wife all but throw the doors open, and, so she didn't have to waste time waddling to him, her husband met her half way. As soon as Joshua was three feet away, Naomi couldn't resist jerking him closer. She filed her hands through his hair before meeting his lips. She kissed him senseless, like he had died and came back to life, and did so around Regina and the fifty agents which shocked him. Joshua couldn't help how happy his heart felt in that moment as he pulled away and stared at his wife.
"See. I told you that I would be alright," he grinned brightly as Naomi continued to run her fingers in his hair.
"You did," she sighed heavily as he met her lips for one last kiss before the two embraced each other again. Naomi just had to make sure that she wasn't dreaming, that she wouldn't have to raise a child alone, that she wouldn't live the rest of her life in a depression because her husband had died.
"I'm right here," Joshua whispered to her.
"I know," Naomi said as she felt Joshua's hands fall to her stomach. He couldn't help his larger than life smile as he was now relieved to know that he would be raising his son along with his wife.
"I love you," Joshua spoke as he stared into Naomi's eyes.
"I love you more--"
Naomi was interrupted by a series of screams and what sounded of gun shots. She didn't have time to react as she watched Joshua's body convulse and he fell limp against her. Naomi also yelped out in pain as she felt a bullet graze her lower abdomen, barely missing the hardened shell of her stomach. She felt numb as she felt a rush of water exit her and suddenly, she felt as if she had wet her pants. She didn't even have enough time to register the fact she was going into labor. The only thing she could register was that she and Joshua, who was slumped against her, were falling, and they were falling fast.
It was an outer body experience as Naomi watched everything work in slow motion around her. She wasn't sure if she was dead or alive. She wasn't sure if Joshua was dead or alive. All she was sure of was no matter happened, she would never be the same.
And they hit the floor. Finally, Naomi watched as she and her husband hit the ground in a heap of water and blood. She couldn't help but notice their smiles, as they had been taken during a moment of love and happiness. They looked so calm, so peaceful. They looked in love as Joshua was sprawled out above his pregnant wife.
She caught him. She caught him when he fell just as they had promised to each other. The symbolism was too ironic for Naomi, and in whatever dimension she was in, she smiled, remembering she had kept her promise both metaphorically and physically.
"I love you," she whispered before closing her eyes shut, being carried off to whichever reality she would spend the rest of her life in. And she did so with a smile, hearing a faint 'I love you, too.'
A/N: CRAZINESSSSSSSS!!!!! Is this the end of Identity Crisis? Hmm... NO! I would never leave you guys like this. But, I'm warning you guys to pay attention to what's in italics and in regular print for the next chapter, just like this one. I've been gone for so long, and I'm sooooo sorry. My grades are low, and I'm an A B student, so I'm taking some time to regulate them. However, I will be updating as often as I can.
The chapter is titled Falling because of the song and the ending of them falling, so a double meaning. The song that goes with this chapter is called Fall for You by Leela James. I heard it this weekend, and fell in love with it. I know falling in love seems like something to happen at the beginning, but Joshua and Naomi are still working out some things concerning their marriage.
So, what happened to them? Who did it? Did Naomi die? Did Joshua die? Is the baby okay? And I can only imagine how many more questions you guys have, but guess what... I don't know. I haven't written anything so it's still a surprise even to me. I cannot promise you guys won't breakdown with whatever I decide to do, but know that I will try my hardest to not make it completely unbearable.
Leave predictions and suggestions! Love y'all, and I will try to see you guys soon!
~CasuallyMe