☽☽☽
WHY DID YOU LIE?
The voice was travelling through Athena's mind as they apperated. Her heart was pounding but she didn't have time for Remus' fury. She had to find Kennedy even if she had absolutely no idea where the girl might be.
With a small pop, the two of them appeared on the moors with the wind whistling around them. Athena wondered why he had brought them here, this place was her comfort, her safe place and she didn't appreciate how Remus was now glaring at her through clouded eyes.
"There was never another way was there?" He asked,
"I was—"
"WAS THERE?" Athena was taken aback by his fury, stumbling a few paces she almost slipped down the hill as she steadied herself.
"No there wasn't" Athena told him. Remus sighed loudly as he ran his hands through his hair, staring out at the night sky for some consolidation that he would never receive.
"Why did you lie?"
"I was protecting you"
"I don't feel very fucking protected!" Remus snapped.
"It was terrible Remus, it was the worst I'd ever felt. Knowing that they were going to die and that there was nothing I could do about it... I didn't want you to feel the same"
"You thought I'd feel better knowing that I'd been lied to by the person I trusted most?
You promised there was another way Rena... you promised"
"I'm sorry! I was going to tell you—"
"Oh were you, very convenient"
"I liked seeing the hope you had" Athena cried, "I was jealous Remus, I wanted to feel hope again and I couldn't. You have no idea what I've been going through!"
"What about what I'm going through!" Remus shouted, "I've just lost two of my best friends!"
"So have I!" Athena yelled,
"At least you got time to prepare yourself!"
"Nothing can prepare you for that, nothing... don't think that my heart hasn't just been torn apart!"
"I could have helped you" he scoffed, "we could have gone through this together"
"I didn't want to see you hurt" Athena muttered,
"Well that was unavoidable" Remus yelled, his voice breaking as he did so, "because I am hurt! Not just because I've lost two of the people I love but because the person I love most lied to me... over and over again for a whole year!"
"It's been killing me!"
"If it's been killing you Rena you would have done something about it!" Remus snapped, "you would have told me, it obviously wasn't killing you that much"
"Remus I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
"I suppose you knew that Sirius was the imposter?" Remus asked, "who was the other one? I presume it wasn't Kennedy since she came to her senses"
"Oh don't be so stupid Remus" Athena snapped, "I told you time and time again that it wasn't Sirius"
"What?" He frowned,
"It wasn't Sirius!" She exclaimed, "it was never Sirius"
"But you saw what he did, he was there! Hagrid told me, he blew up that street... he killed those muggles! He killed Peter!"
"Why do you think that happened Remus? Why would he kill Peter?"
"You're not suggesting—"
"No I'm not suggesting Remus, I'm telling you... it's Peter, it was always Peter"
"Peter and?" He asked,
"Peter and Tessa" she replied softly,
"But Sirius was the secret keeper. He was the only one one could betray Lily and James, it has to be him"
"They switched!" Athena yelled, "Peter became the secret keeper, that's what Sirius was hiding... when Kennedy came to us"
"How long ago did you find out who the imposters were?"
"That argument we were having... when I randomly left"
"Rena that was ages ago" Remus muttered, "how could you stand by and let Peter become the secret keeper if you knew he was the imposter?"
"Remus there's a lot you don't understand" Athena muttered,
"Explain then!"
"I have to find Kennedy"
"Why?" Remus asked, "why do you need to find Kennedy?"
"Because she still thinks it was Sirius all along and I need to tell her that it wasn't"
"You can't just leave now Rena I need answers... please"
"It was all Dumbledore Remus, he wanted to ensure the end of the war... he persuaded Lily and James to change their secret keeper"
"And you let him?" Remus glared in shock, "you let him speed up Lily and James' death, you let him kill them!"
"No of course not" Athena shook her head, "that's not what it was like"
"What else was it?"
"People were dying Remus, innocent people were dying in the war"
"Lily and James were innocent!"
"They had to die, there was no way around that" Athena pleaded he would understand as tears poured down her face, "don't you think of there was anything that I could do to change that I would have done it?"
"They could have had more time Rena, more time with Harry... you tore them away from their son"
"Don't accuse me of shit that I had no control over" Athena pointed her finger at him in anger, "they were going to die either way Remus but others didn't need to... Marlene... Dorcas... I didn't want to lose anyone else"
Remus paused as he tried to understand what she was saying. It didn't correlate with him, he didn't get why she had kept this from him for so long.
"You let me blame Sirius"
"I tried to tell you that it wasn't him" Athena continued, "I told you—"
"But all this time you knew who it was?" Remus scoffed, "you could have told me, you could have stopped me from blaming Sirius if you really wanted"
"No Remus I couldn't... I couldn't say anything, Dumbledore told me not to in case it complicated things"
"In case it prevented Lily and James' death you mean?" Remus asked,
"They had to die! They were going to die no matter what!"
"You let me believe there was hope" he murmured,
"We've been through why I did that Remus I need to—"
"I feel like you don't care, I feel like you don't give a shit how I'm feeling right now"
"Of course I care!" Athena broke, "of course I fucking care because I love you—"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" Remus yelled, "people who love each other tell each other things like this"
"I'm sorry ok? I am... maybe I was wrong... maybe I should have told you"
"Maybe?" Remus hissed, "you don't even believe yourself do you? You always think you know best! Always one step ahead of everyone!"
"Stop it!" Athena retorted, "I know you're upset and I'm sorry but there's no much more going on right now!"
"That matters more?" Remus asked,
"Kennedy—"
"Screw Kennedy what about me?"
"Remus I've told you everything" Athena sighed loudly,
"Yeah just about a year too late" Remus quipped, "I thought you hated Dumbledore"
"I do!"
"Then why are you working with him?"
"I had to Remus, I had no choice... I didn't choose for the prophecy to be about me, I didn't choose this life!"
"But I bet you're loving it"
"Oh fucking hell Remus" Athena snapped, "of course I'm not loving it! I had to live with the fact that my friends were going to die for a year and I couldn't do anything to prevent this! Nothing at all!"
"Right I didn't mean that" Remus backtracked, "but you've got to understand Rena, you lied to me... we made a promise a very long time ago not to lie—"
"Remus we're a bit past that now—"
"You stared straight at me last year when I asked if there was hope, you stared right at me and you told me that you promised, did that mean nothing?"
"I did what I thought was right!" Athena yelled, "can't you understand that?"
"No I can't!" Remus replied, "no I can't understand how you could lie to me so easily after everything we've been through... I don't even know if I trust you anymore"
"Oh Remus don't be so dramatic" Athena sighed,
"Dramatic?" He cried, "you've been lying to me nearly everyday for a year! How is that dramatic?"
"You can trust me" Athena frowned, "of course you can trust me... it's me"
"I trusted you to tell me things like this, to tell me the truth when I asked... to not break promises"
"We've all broken promises Remus, I thought they meant nothing to you?"
"This one did"
"So you pick and choose—"
"Rena we're older now! I shouldn't have to worry about you lying to me!"
"Right I'm sorry and I promise I won't do it again" Athena blurted out hoping this would be enough. However she knew as soon as she said it that it wasn't.
"Do you even mean anything you're saying anymore or has lying just become second nature to you now? I know you would do it again don't lie Athena, if we went back a year ago you would still lie... I can see it in your eyes!"
"If you had felt what I did you'd understand why!" Athena snapped, "you'd understand exactly why I'd feel the need to lie, I'm sure you'd do the same"
"No I wouldn't Rena because unlike you I don't find it easy lying to the person that I love the most"
"I never said it was easy!"
"Yet you don't seem to care, I know you well enough to care... I can see it in your eyes"
"I care about you which is why I did it and yes maybe I'd do it again maybe I did what I thought was right because I didn't want you to feel as broken as I did, I didn't want you to feel like there was absolutely no hope"
"So what was your plan when I found out?"
"I hadn't got that far yet" Athena replied,
"There was no way you could do this forever, you had to have known that"
"Well of course I did I just didn't think about it!" Athena snapped.
"What if the tables were turned?" Remus asked, "what if I'd lied to you for an entire year, would you still think the same thing?"
"I don't know Remus I really don't" Athena cried, "and I'd love to sit and explain exactly why I did what I did but I can't because Lily and James have died, Sirius is going to Azkaban and Kennedy believes that her husband betrayed her so forgive me if my minds slightly pressed right now"
"Right" Remus replied bitterly, "right I understand that you obviously don't care how I feel about this, as long as you think what you did was right then what I feel is completely insignificant"
"That's not what I said" Athena sighed in exasperation,
"No but it's what you meant" Remus continued, "it's evident that everyone else is more important than me to you"
"Remus that's not true at all and we can sort this out—"
"Can we?" Remus asked, "are you going to sit me down and lie to me again, say that your so sorry and that you were wrong because you knows it's what I want to hear?"
"Remus please—"
"You know what Athena I'm sorry for wasting your time when you obviously think I'm being dramatic"
"Look I am sorry ok, I am"
"Because I reacted the way I did or because you genuinely think lying to me was fine?"
"I don't know I just know that I don't want to fight with you right now"
"Well you should have thought that through" Remus muttered, "so go on... go find Kennedy like you're so desperate to do, go deal with something that actually matters"
"Where are you going to go?" Athena asked, "look I won't be long and then we can talk about this... properly"
"No I need time to think" Remus shook his head,
"Ok" Athena nodded, "ok well I'll talk about it tomorrow then"
"No Rena I'm going"
"Going where?"
"I don't know I just need to be alone"
"Remus you can't just leave me, not after everything that's going on"
"Don't try and find me" Remus replied shortly.
"REMUS"
She was cut off by a faint pop as he disappeared and Athena thought that her heart had stopped beating. Her mind was spinning out of control but she had to find Kennedy. Sirius had told her to find Kennedy.
Turning on her heel, she vanished and reappeared out of the block of flats that Sirius and Kennedy resided in. She darted inside out of the rain and tried not to think about what Remus has said to her. He would come around. Everything would be fine.
However everything else was far from it. In fact everything was a wreck and there was so much building up that Athena had to see to. She had to find Kennedy and explain everything, she had to figure out a way to get Sirius out of Azkaban and also find out what happened with Peter since Sirius claimed he hadn't killed him. Then there was Harry to think about. Since Sirius couldn't look after him right now the mantle would be passed to Athena yet she had no idea where the boy was.
Athena paced up the stairs and found Kennedy and Sirius' apartment. She was sure that Kennedy would be angry around now but there was nothing she could do about that, she had to face her.
She went to knock on the door but as she did so the door fell open. It hadn't been shut properly and evidently not locked which Athena believed was not a good sign. Stepping into the house, she got her wand out of her pocket and stretched it out in front of her.
"Kennedy?" Athena called, her voice echoed off the walls as she stepped into the main room. The place was a complete mess, things thrown around in anger. Kennedy hadn't broken anything expensive but there were papers littering the floor, cushions ripped apart and mugs and glasses smashed.
Athena had been right to assume that Kennedy was angry. She turned and pushed her way into the bedroom that Sirius and Kennedy shared. She hadn't been in here since they gave her the original tour. This too was trashed. However no personal possessions broken, just slashed cushions littering feathers everywhere and glass fragments from the mirror.
Kennedy wasn't here and for a moment Athena hoped that if she'd wait, she would have to come back at some point. However as she turned, she noticed that the wardrobe door was open slightly. Moving towards it, she pushed the door aside and looked at it.
One side side, the wardrobe was full of clothes. Band T-shirt's, ripped jeans and leather jackets. Sirius' side. However the other side was empty. Completely cleared out which meant only one thing. Kennedy was gone and she wasn't planning on coming back anytime soon.
As Athena stood there in the bedroom that had once belonged to a couple she hadn't seen falling apart, Athena only had one thought drifting through her mind.
The thought that she now felt more alone than she ever had done.
☽☽☽
A/n
Words - 2543
Published - 8th April 2021