"Alex!" I call after her, following her down the hall and down the stairs. She makes her way outta the front door of the building, walking to the car and getting in the driver's seat, slamming the door. I walk behind her and open her door. "What's wrong, what happened?"
"That's her, Cooper," she sniffs, covering her face with her hands.
"Who?"
"My grandmother."
I look at her. "No."
"Yes," she nods. "Yes, I remember her face, she has gray eyes like me."
Fuck. "..I am so sorry."
She shakes her head and runs her hands through her hair, sighing really loud. "Can we go home?"
I nod. "Yeah. I'm driving though so get on the other side."
She nods too and climbs outta the car, wrapping her arms around my waist. Caught off guard, I quickly wrap my arms around her, her head laying on my shoulder. "I love you," she says.
"I love you too," I say, pulling away and kissing her lips. "C'mon, let's go."
○○○
"Do you want something to eat? Or like a milkshake, I can make you a milkshake? I'll make you a milkshak-"
"No. No, I'm fine," she sighs, sitting down on the couch.
"..are you s-"
"..no. No, I'm not sure and I'm not ok. They thought it was ok to just leave a five year-old girl without a family to foster care. They acted like I didn't even exist, and most of them still do act like it. She can't just come back into my life when I'm an adult and try and make everything ok, because it's not ok and it never will be."
I open my mouth to speak, to tell her that she's right and that I feel for her, but none of that even matters because this is everything she's wanted to avoid her entire life. It's like bringing back the memory of her losing her family, and I wanna be there for her, but I can't because I have no idea what she's going through. I can only sit back and watch the love of my life slowly go through something terrible that she has no control over.
"Sometimes I just think about why I wasn't good enough to be in their family or why they didn't want me. Or, or what I did for them to just not do what we all know my parents would have wanted them to do and take me in. I'm apart of the family too, I have actual feelings..I know I act like I don't, but I do..I do," she says, quietly, looking at the ground, wiping her eyes.
My heart breaks as I stand and watch her, thinking of the many different ways I'm going to kill each and every member of Alex's family once I track them down and-
"..what did I do? Why am I having to go through this? Why can't all of this just be over with? I'm not bothering their family anymore, can't they just leave me alone?"
I, again, say nothing.
"Say something, make me feel better," she looks at me.
Fuck. "..I'm not sure what to say, Marshmallow."
"Anything."
"I love you."
She nods, standing and hugging me again. "The only good thing that's come out of every bullshit detail in my life is you."
I kiss her hand. "They really missed out on something great."
She sighs and sits back down, laying her head on the cushion and pulling her feet up too. "Make me the milkshake."
I slightly smile. "Ok."
I walk to the kitchen and get out the four pints of ice cream and the milk, setting them on the counter as the doorbell rings.
I glance at the door.
..why do I feel like I know who'll be there?
Alex quiclkly sits up, looking at me. "Don't answer it."
"..I can't just leave her out there. I have to dismiss her."
"LEAVE HER, COOPER."
The doorbell rings again.
"..Alex-"
"Fuck, fine, I'll get it," she huffs, standing and walking to the door. She looks out the peep hole and then sighs really loudly, opening the door.
"Ale-"
"I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen, alright?" she interrupts her grandmother, who closes her mouth and nods slowly. "I really don't wanna talk to you, and I bet you already knew that. But if I know anything about my birth family, it's that we're fucking persistent, so if I don't 'talk' to you now, you'll never fuck off. So you're gonna come in, sit on the couch, not touch any of my shit, and not even glance at my girlfriend because she hates you too, and you're only gonna talk if I tell you to."
Damn.
Her grandmother does exactly what Alex told her not to and looks over at me. I look at her blankly as she walks in, sitting on the couch and looking around. Alex walks over to me and grabs her milkshake outta my hand, drinking it. "Go sit in the chair," she says to me.
I glance at her, walking to the chair and sitting. I probably should just do what she says right now considering her mood and the scenario.
"Why are you here?" Alex asks her.
"..I..I'm sorry for ev-"
"That doesn't answer my question. Why are you here?"
"To see you. To apologize for giving you up."
"You can't just apologize for that."
"I know, darling, I know. That's why I'm here. I wanna make up for the years I spent without you."
"No thanks, I'd rather not spend sixteen years with someone who I utterly despise."
"..Alexandra-"
"It's Alex."
"Your birthname is Alexandra."
"Well, I'm twenty one and I get to decide shit like that, and my name is Alex."
"I named you Alexandra."
"Exactly," she smirks.
"I know you're upset with me, but you can't just talk to me any kind of way, I'm your grandmothe-"
"No, you're not, you're nothing to me."
"..Alex," I say, standing and gently grabbing her hand.
"No. No, I went through Hell my entire life, wondering why my birth family didn't want me and why I was put into foster care. The thought made me believe that I couldn't trust anyone, or that maybe I was to blame. I started to believe that shit, I hated myself for years because of you. I hated everyone. I still do, but I was lucky enough to find someone who brought me outta the dark and that loves me more than anyone in my birth family ever will."
I smile. True.
"I dodged a bullet though, I got a pretty fucking amazing family, and I didn't have to deal with a bunch of ungrateful bastards like me. But in the end..you guys are the losers, because I'm pretty fucking awesome if I must say so myself."
I slightly smile. Only she would say something like that right now.
"I bet you are and I would love to get to know y-"
"No. Anymore questions?"
"..how long have you lived here?"
She rolls her eyes. "A while."
"..how long have you all been together?"
Another roll of Alex's eyes. "A while."
"I didn't know you were gay."
"Obviously not."
"..I hope at one point in our lives, you can find it in your heart to forgive me and the rest of the family, we-"
"Yeah, definitely, bye."
Her grandmother looks at me again, and I glance at the door. She looks at the ground and then stands, walking outta the apartment, closing the door behind her.
Alex walks to the door and locks it, looking at me. "Let's go watch a movie."
I nod slowly. "Ok."
We walk to the bedroom and I sit on the bed, taking off my heels. "We're gonna go out later, so keep on your makeup," she says, laying on the bed and grabbing the remote. I nod, laying down beside her. "What do you wanna watch?"
I shrug. "Anything."
"Let's watch that show you like. Gossip.."
"Gossip Girl?" I smile.
"Yeah. That."
"Yay!" I exclaim, grabbing the remote from her and going to the show. I go back to season one and start from there. "You'll love it, I swear."
"I love you."
"I love you more," I smile again, kissing her lips.
"I love you most."
○○○
"Alex, I'm going to work," I say, shaking her trying to get her up. "Get up and get ready for class, babe."
"Not going," she mutters and yawns, rolling onto her back in bed.
I sigh. "Well, kiss me goodbye."
She puckers her lips, keeping her eyes closed. I lean down and kiss her, grabbing my bag and walking outta the bedroom and outta the apartment. I lock the door behind me and turn.
Only to be greeted by Alex's grandmother.
I sigh.
Good morning to me.
□□□■■■
it's short and late and yes but at least we have our health
Sober by Childish Gambino
bye weens
-Missy