Dedicated to Favourra, your comments always fill me with so much happiness, keep them coming, they always make my day ♥️♥️♥️
~KUNMI~
Man is his own star and the only soul that can render a honest and a perfect man, commands all souls, all influences, all lights.
"How do you interpret the above excerpt?" Our petite literature teacher, Miss Bolanle asked, turning back from the board where she just wrote the excerpt. It was during one of the tutorials for the upcoming Olympia competition. It was just the three of us, Adam, Tolase and I. We were in the department of Arts, in one of the mini classrooms that were used for special coaching.
"Does that mean that man is in control of his own actions and that his actions ain't predestined?" Tolase asked, a thoughtful tone to her voice. She was tapping the lid of her covered pen to her mouth as she gazed at the words on the board. I looked away from her face to the words on the board again and I reread them, enunciating them.
"I think it means that man is in control of his own destiny and nothing can influence his destiny except the direct and indirect consequences of his actions." I said slowly, choosing my words carefully and when a flicker of smile touched Mrs lips, my insides swelled.
Adam remained quiet, he just kept staring at the board, that unusual far away look in his eyes.
"Adam, what do you think? Do you agree with Kunmi's analysis?"
Those words jolted him out of his thoughts and he stared at the teacher blankly for a split second before he spoke again.
"Well, I think so. The excerpt means that Man is in control of his own destiny and he's in control of everything that's happening to him, right?" His reply was curt and clip.
"Yeah, you're right but what do you guys think of the excerpt? Do you believe it's true?"
"I'm not sure," Tolase was quick to reply again. "But I think to an extent, it's right. When we believe there are other factors controlling our lives, I think they makes us to relax and not give things our best shot. In conclusion, I think the excerpt just means your life is in your hand, you get to decide how to live it."
Hmmm. I repeated her words in my brain and without knowing it, I started to shake my head.
"Kunmi, it seems like you're against that belief. Do you have a contrasting opinion?"
I stilled at her question and I forced my eyes away from the opened notebook on the desk to Miss Bolanle's face. She was looking at me skeptically, yet expectantly.
"Well, not exactly. I just... I just don't..." I trailed off, tore my eyes away from her to my notebook again.
"Yes, dear, go on."
"I don't exactly agree with it. I don't think humans get to live lives the way they want. There are lots of underlying factors that control man's destiny. I think... I just think it depends on the context the poet used it for. Man's action can influence his life to a great extent but he can't control the entirety of his destiny. That's... That's..." My right hand swayed questioningly. "That's just not possible."
Miss Bolanle paused for a minute before she started nodding, slowly, thoughtfully.
"Okay. Adam?"
I turned towards Adam's direction where he was sitting between Tolase and I. It was more like he was sprawled on the chair with his extremely relaxed posture, legs stretched out, left hand behind his head and his right one tapping the desk gently.
"I want to believe it," He started in an unusually gruff voice and eyes totally fixed on the board. "But in reality," He sat up properly then. "it's all bull..." Miss Bolanle's eyes widened just like mine but he caught himself just in time. "But in reality, it's all lies. Man doesn't get to choose what's going to happen to him. If man could do that, then no one would be suffering. When they say take charge of your life, is that even possible in its entirety? Some things are beyond human's control and how we live, our destiny is the number one thing on that list."
For a minute that seemed like eternity, no one said anything to his words and I just continued to stare at him, saddened at his tone. Was he by chance comparing this to what was going on with his dad? To what his dad was doing to him and his mom? I still haven't wrapped my head around my deductions, still couldn't bring myself to believe it but I was starting to understand why he had always appeared to be a sad boy to me, why he was so blank and numb on some days. I couldn't even start to think of the things he must have gone through as a child, unspeakable things that must have make him hate his father that much to the point of wishing him dead.
Any time, I think about him now, my heart always ached for him.
I started to reach out, to hold his hands when I remembered we weren't alone, that a teacher was even with us. I withdrew my outstretched hand.
"Okay. Good. Too bad I have to go now. You guys can stay back and study together, okay?"
Tolase and I chorused yes Ma just as she walked out of the class leaving us to ourselves.
"Well, I have somewhere to be and besides, I don't want to be the third wheel when you guys would obviously want to be alone ." That was Tolase, a somewhat chiding and teasing tone to her words and I opened my mouth, ready to say something, anything, just to correct that impression she had but she walking out of the classroom and what answered me was the sound of the metal door slamming.
"Ohh, she left." I muttered to the closed door before turning back to the board. Beside me, Adam chuckled.
"Good girl. I like her."
Ehn?
I turned back to look at him slowly, my face morphing into whatever because I did not even understand anything. The smile that was etched on his face dissipated in less than a second immediately he saw my face and he sat up even straighter.
"What I mean is that... I mean that..." He trailed off pathetically and he gestured towards the door closed door. "What I mean is that she's really smart, she knows when she's needed and when she's not."
I scoffed out a short laughter and a low hiss at his pathetic excuse after he practically told me that he likes another girl.
"And why is she not needed here? We're to work on all these." I gestured towards the opened textbook on my desk, at the numerous poems we're to analyse. He chuckled again.
"Really?"
"Of course," I answered back sarcastically before turning black to the textbook and trying to read one of the poems while trying to calm my erratic heart that always has his own mind whenever I was with Adam.
"Okay then," He said minutes later and he leaned over so he'd be able to pore over my textbook too. I leaned away from him and I eyed him suspiciously.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to study." He replied nonchalantly and he even leaned in even closer till his face was directly hovering over mine.
I blinked, swallowed, tried to act nonchalant to the fact that he was standing so close to me.
"Okayyy. Study from your own textbook then."
"Why? We're supposed to study together." He drawled the last part and my breath hitched up at his suggestive tone. He was leaning so close to me that I could feel his warm breath and the heat that was emitting from him.
When I looked up, his head was propped on the desk with his hand and his eyes were fixed totally on me, his lips curved up in that usual sensual smile that had me mesmerised for a split moment before I remembered that I was supposed to be angry at him. I looked away and tried to focus on the textbook.
"Okay, so I think this line is..." He moved even closer to me and I stopped talking involuntarily.
"This is what?" He probed, his voice sounding teasing and his teeth dragging in a side of his lower lips and his tongue sweeping over his lower lip tortuously in the process.
Oh God!
I breathed out.
"This is..." I trailed off, unable to articulate anything with the way he was looking at me, with the way he was biting his lower lips.
His sensual smile deepened even more and he moved closer or I moved closer. I did not know. I did not care.
The heart shattering and ear piercing giiing sound completely shattered that moment.
"We should... We should go back to class." I stammered, willing myself back to reality and even though Adam moved back, he remained unfazed by my words because he even shrugged nonchalantly.
"Why? Let's just skip the class." I eyed him warily and even though the offer was tempting, I had to force myself not to fall for his charms. And besides, I remembered what he did that one day during the long holiday and I was up on my feet in no time.
"You can skip it alone. I have things to do in class." I replied and I turned towards the door immediately but not seeing his bewildered expression for that split second.
Good! Two can play the game.
********
The smile that had been etched on my face disappeared immediately I saw the girl that entered the bathroom after me.
Ngozi.
My blood started to freeze all over, especially after her eyes met mine and again, they did nothing to hid the mad fury and hatred in them. I found myself recoiling inside even though on the outside, I remained the way I was, staring at myself in the mirror and my two hands gliding over each other as the water smoothly ran over them.
She snickered and I must have recoiled visibly because that made her to laugh. Several thoughts were running through my mind and repressed memories from long ago were threatening to creep up.
Debby Atafo and her geng and being locked up in the bathroom.
I swallowed the bile, forced it back down, tried to force the building memories down where they belong, in my subconscious.
"You're not telling me off today," She snickered and from the mirror, I could see the sick grin on her face, the sick grins of bullies like Debby, people who believed they could do anything anyhow they want and get away with it.
It was repulsing and angering and terrifying.
Inside, anxiety was building up, crawling up to my throat, trying to choke and cripple me. Outside, I forced myself to remain still, to act immune to her words and twisted grin.
"Eeh. Hallelujah, she's not talking back today." She continued in a crazily Jovial voice as if she was actually happy but rather in a mean way, to deride me.
"Or is it because the boy you're knacking in one corner is not here or is he starving you now?"
I trembled, my hands started trembling at that same time I turned off the faucet and she must have noticed because she snickered again, loudly. I was shaking all over, trembling, panic and anxiety lodging up on my throat, sealing off my lungs and making it an impossible task to breath.
"Excuse me," I said, making an attempt to sidestep her but she was having none of it because she grabbed my wrist, way too tightly before she slammed me backwards. The impact was so high that I narrowly missed crashing into wash hand basin.
"Excuse you? Not yet, dear. We're leaving when I'm done here."
I inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, then did it all over again. It still felt like my lungs were still being sealed off and that my breathings would soon start coming out in wheezes.
I inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled, kept repeating that while the darker girl just kept staring at me, deep seethed hatred in her eyes. I stared at her now, stared at her deeply, tried to wrap my head around what exactly I might have done for her to dislike me that much.
"What's it?"
Her brows arched up and the corners of her lips twitched up disgustingly.
"Why do you dislike me that much? Is there..."
She interrupted my sentence with a scoff, turned away from me and faced the mirror and started to fix an imaginary running mascara.
"Dislike you?" She scoffed again and she even more intently at the mirror. "Dislike might be an understatement. Who wouldn't hate someone like you? I mean, have you looked at the mirror.. Ohhh!!" Her eyes grew thoughtful while I just felt something akin to numbness at her words. Her eyes grew even more thoughtful and she turned towards me, index finger pointed out as if to point out a point.
"You were looking at the mirror before I came in, right?" She paused and burst into laughter. "Do you even like what you see? Would you even be anywhere today if Aminah hadn't befriended you? And just because them Aminah and Co are pretending to like you and..."
So that was it? All these were because she was jealous of my friendship with Aminah and the rest?
"Are you sure or do you just feel the need to make me feel bad so you'll be able to feel good about yourself?" I retorted, loudly and almost angrily in a voice that made the loser in front of me to recoil and for a huge darkness, a darkness as clear as day to settle on her face. I watched as her face darkened into mad fury, her face contorting into mad anger till I thought she was going to burst from that much anger.
"Oh really? Keep deluding yourself then. You really think you deserve all of them? You'll know your true worth when you realise everything is an illusion."
I shook my head as I stared at the darker girl, feeling incredibly sorry for her, feeling incredibly sorry for how pained she is. I was starting to see and understand why people say bullies only bully people to feel good about themselves. Ngozi was just a perfect example. I forced myself to plaster a huge smile on my face, a smile that shocked her and made me to move five steps away from me.
"You'll be fine."
The sound of the deep laughter that came from one of the cubicles shocked the both of us and we both turned towards the direction it came from at the same time the water started running in the closest and at the same time someone walked out of the cubicle.
Sophia.
I relaxed, visibly, all the pent up anxiety and panic washing away while the girl in front of me just paled before she muttered something incoherent and she walked away.
The Queen Weirdo in front of me just smiled at me before she started washing her hand under the faucet while I just stared at her.
But wait, Sophia had been in here all these while?
"People like Ngozi needs to be put in their place."
That was the first thing Sophia said to me when we walked out of the toilet and we started walking towards the love garden. My insides were turning. The fact that was in there all these while was... It just wasn't sitting down well with me.
"She used to be friends with Aminah before you joined our school so I guessed your friendship with Aminah is not sitting down well with her and there's the whole you and Adam thing giving most of the girls in school major heartbreak."
There was a slight teasing edge to her voice and I guessed I was supposed to be laugh at that but I couldn't.
"Ngozi is all mouth and bluffs. She could be extreme at times but well, you already put her in her place."
She could be extreme at times? She could have been extreme today? I had no idea what the girl was capable of doing but apparently, Sophia does and she remained in the cubicle all these while? It just... It wasn't normal. Knowing Sophia, it just didn't up.
By now, we were already at the love garden which was deserted because everybody was in class except the SS3 students who were busy preparing for the Olympia, both academic tutorials and the sport practice. Aminah and Adam were representing us for track, Kunle for basketball and they've been out there on the fields practicing especially Aminah who was practicing as if her life depended on it. In her own words, she had said "We're winning track, we don't even have an option."
"Are you angry? You're not saying anything?"
Her words jolted me out of my reverie and I stared at her blankly for a minute, absorbing her words. Was I angry?
"Are you angry that I just stayed in there without saying anything?" She asked again, staring straight ahead, her eyes fixed on something I could not see. She did not wait for me to reply before she started talking again.
"The thing is no matter how hard and how much people are there, people speak up for you, it doesn't add up and it doesn't make sense if you're not there for yourself, if you don't speak up for yourself because in the long run, the only person you have is yourself. Most people will just come and go, no matter how much they like you and stuffs, the only constant k in your life is yourself."
People would always go and come?
That thought alone saddened me. I'd rather not have people go and come. With the way things ended up with Tara, a costly mistake that almost cost me her friendship because my replies to her messages were still in her dm, unseen, un-replied and I had no other means of contacting her, I knew how easy it was to lose people, to lose friends, especially someone like Tara, even after everything she did for me. But thinking of losing Adam, Aminah, Sophia, even Alex's friendship was terrifying.
That wasn't even possible, was it?
"And I know that might sound rude but it's the truth, at least, I know that it's the truth because I'm speaking from personal experience."
What??
That jolted me out of my reverie, completely, totally and I stared at the girl in utter shock.
What?
Sophia was speaking from personal experience? This Sophia? This same Sophia Williams? No way! No freaking way!!
"Funny, right?" She said jokingly, some sort of nostalgic smile on her face which meant that she wasn't joking or lying.
Wow.
"I used to be kind of quiet and shy kid who just kept allowing people to treat her however way they wanted."
Wow. Just wow. I stared at her in utter disbelief. Sophia used to be a shy and quiet child. This same Sophia or totally different one? The same loud, always chatty, ever weird Sophia used to be shy and quiet. Was that even possible or was she just trying to make me feel good or something like that?
"It's unbelievable, isn't it?"
"It's more than unbelievable." I replied and I tried to picture Sophia as shy, quiet, the one who wouldn't talk unless talked to and I just... I just couldn't conjure any moment.
"Anyway," she continued. "It was a long time ago, I was really young then and it was... It was..." She trailed off and shuddered and she even proceeded to wrap her hands around herself, obviously remembering things from her past.
"It was really horrible. I was in primary school and there was this girl who just hated me, loathed my whole existence because of how I looked, because of my skin color which was crazy because if anyone should be jealous of the other's skin color, it should be me because this girl was even... Well, to me then, she looked way way better than I did. We were in primary school but even as at then, she was a monster and she did make my life a living hell." She shuddered again and her lips curved up in a small nostalgically painful smile.
"My sister was there and even though that girl was afraid of Stephanie, that did not stop her from being mean to me whenever Stephanie wasn't around. It took me Stephanie's words to get my acts together and when I did, well..." She trailed off and when I looked at her, her lips were curved up in something akin to a sardonic smile, an evil smile.
"Let's just say I put her in her place and I..." She trailed off and shrugged, nonchalantly "Showed her what it meant to be bullied? I guess so." She concluded before she turned to me and when she spoke again, her voice was back to the normal chatty and childish voice, not the earlier eerie one.
"So, people like Ngozi are just... They're not even worth your attention. It took me a while to realise that the girl that picked on me back then wasn't even about me, it was about her. That's how most bullies work, they feel the need to put others down just to feel good about themselves. So whenever anyone try to make you feel bad, just remember they're doing it because they feel bad about themselves so..."
"What did you do to that girl in your primary school?" I found myself asking, still trying to wrap my head around the tone she had used when she talked about it and the smile on her face disappeared immediately before she jumped to her feet.
"Baby Kay, I'd rather have you remember me like this and not something or something else. Let's go."
And without waiting for me, she started walking towards the academic block, leaving me to my thoughts.
Now, Sophia wasn't amusing me again, she was back to scaring me.
***********
~ADAM~
"We're here!"
Ezekiel's voice boomed loud and clear as the school drove into the compound of the buildings that'd house the Olympia competition for the next one week.
"Wow. This place is maddd!" That was another classmate of mine and I did not miss his awe filled voice. It was necessary and needed. I looked out of the window, taking in the scenery of the building. Looking at it now, I could see four separate buildings painted in white and I mentally concluded that those buildings doubled as the the main Auditorium, male and female hostels and then, probably the gym.
The driver drove straight to the Auditorium and I could see other school's buses. My lips stretched out in a smile when I saw Limelight's bus as I remembered my guys from the school, Jamal and Mateo. I couldn't even wait to see them again.
The bus rolled into a stop and everyone started to get down. We stayed back.
"God! I'm so nervous." Kunmi said in a small voice beside me when we were the only one left in the bus and I turned to see worry deeply etched on her face. From the time we started the countdown to Olympia, she had started worrying her head off and nothing I did or said was enough to placate her. Especially when she had been finalised as the one to represent the school in oratory contest.
To her, that was too much of a huge responsibility to be placed on her.
"Why?"
"I don't know. I just hate meeting new people. What if they don't like me? What if..."
"Then, we won't like them either." I interrupted and she paused for a minute before she met my eyes and she smiled. I smiled too and soon enough, the both of us were laughing, ribs cracking and shoulders creaking as our heads slumped against the backrest of the chair.
"I'm serious. We won't like them either."
Her laughter trailed off and she stared at me for a moment longer than usual, teeth biting her bottom lip. My eyes followed the movement subconsciously, wishing that was my teeth doing that.
"As if you're even allowed to like any other girl apart from me." Her words jolted me out of my reverie and I painfully tore my eyes from her lips before her words registered in my brain. On seeing her bemused expression, I burst into laughter again.
"Well, will you guys continue to shine teeth together or you'll get down and allow us to do what we came here for?"
Our laughter trailed off when we heard Sophia's voice and we both looked up to see her standing at the entrance of the bus, eyebrows raised quizzically.
"We're waiting for you guys sha." She concluded before she walked out of the bus and I turned towards Kunmi again.
"So, should we go now?"
She nodded and I started to reach out to grab her hands when she grabbed mine, surprising me yet again with her bold moves that I was still starting to get used to by the way.
Olympia, here we come.
Olympia is finally here!!
Stilling the storm readers that thought they saw spoilers, well, your surprises are awaiting you 😙😙, even Temi will be surprised 😎😎
Okayyy, The Olympia is an inter-school competition and Perfectly Imperfect will be same fictional world with one of our best Naija teen fictions on Wattpad, that's stilling the storm by Iyanuoluwa-Temi, if you haven't read that book, honestly, you're on your own.
Ngozi...
Sophia used to be quiet and shy??? Omoh, that's unbelievable oo but then, you never can tell what people have been through. And most times, It's what people have been through that always make them the way they are.
Well, pay close attention to the events that'd happen during the Olympia because they're the direct link to the ultimate end of the book 😪😪
I love you guys a whole lot, your comments and engagements are everything and more. Keep them coming, keep blowing my mind.
See you guys when I see you ♥️♥️♥️