We sat in silence for probably half an hour after I'd poured my heart out to Benjamin. I thought it would be difficult to tell him, but I found it easier than expected. And the closeness I felt with him right now meant more than any words created.
He kept stroking my arm. Slow, gentle circles that tickled my skin in the best of ways, creating goosebumps of bliss. And his ribcage rose and sunk for each breath he took, like if he was rocking me to sleep. It was the most relaxed I'd been in a very long time.
"Thanks for telling me," he said eventually. His voice was husky and deep, and for some reason I felt like I was sinking into his body.
"Thank you for listening."
There was another pause where the minutes dragged out to a little eternity. A good kind of eternity.
"You know I'm here for you, right?"
He placed his finger on my chin to make me turn my head and look at him.
"Always."
I smiled.
"I know."
Then we kissed. A slow, sensual kiss that was full of promises that I wasn't sure if I was ready for. Still, I didn't mind when he pulled me further up so I was laying on my back with my head on the armrest.
He felt heavy and strong when he towered over me. His eyes were loving and glowing in a certain way I'd seen many times before, and when he pressed his lips against mine again, my arms found their rightful place around his neck. I spread my legs automatically without really knowing what I was doing, but it felt good when he moved a bit to make it more comfortable. He pushed his pelvis against mine a couple of times to see my reaction, and when I didn't push him away I heard him moan. Just a silent one, but it was so deep and rusty that it vibrated all the way down to my core.
"Tell me to stop," he murmured when he started kissing along my jaw and down my neck. I felt his soft lips leave a warm and moist trail that turned cold in the air. Air that had gotten so thick around us that it was almost suffocating. So I pulled him up and back to my lips again so I could breathe, and moaned when he grinded his hard bulge directly against my area. And as if there was any doubt:
"I want you, Mia. God, I've been wanting you for so long."
He gave me an extra push that made both of us moan. I'd only felt this aroused one time before...
No! Not now. I don't want to let that spoil this.
"What's wrong?" Benjamin asked. He'd noticed my sudden tension. But I pulled him back on top of me and wrapped my legs around his waist. I wanted this. I needed this to move on. I was almost twenty-four years old, and I wanted to know what it was like to feel like a woman.
"Are you sure?"
Benjamin locked his gaze with mine to make sure that I didn't have any doubts, and I nodded shyly. It was now or never. The sensations when he was slowly gyrating his hips, sent my body into a furore of flames, and I found myself wanting to get burned.
His hands started to explore my body. He hadn't done that before. Not this way. He caressed every inch of my skin, the parts he could reach anyway. And when he didn't get any further, he used his heated gaze to ask if he could undress me.
I nodded.
"In my room."
He giggled, as if he'd forgotten where we were. But I didn't want my first time to be on my aunt's couch, with a risk of getting caught. So when he grabbed my hand and led me upstairs, I felt an excitement and a yearning that told me one thing; I was ready.
He helped me lay down on the bed before he ripped his shirt off, then his t-shirt, so I wouldn't feel awkward about being naked. Then he slowly removed the clothes on my torso, and kissed his way down to my breasts, which already were firmly wrapped in his palms. My nipples were hard, but scrunched even harder against his tongue when he sucked on them. I moaned.
"Fuck. You're perfect," he mumbled, and let his hands roam along my curves and down to my hips and thighs. He pushed even harder against my womanhood, and kept grinding me so heavenly that it felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I needed him just as much as he needed me. And as if someone had switched over a knob, we suddenly were in a rush to shred the rest of our clothes.
My hands stroked over his shoulders and neck, before they searched down to foreign territory. Places they'd never been before. His muscles were bulging and hard underneath my fingertips, and they vibrated and flexed for each time he moved against my body. His stomach was ripped to perfection, and I was sure he didn't only have a six-pack, but an eight-pack that ended in a defined V-shape that fascinated me. Then I accidentally touched something else, and immediately pulled my hand away. Benjamin just giggled.
"You can touch me everywhere you want, Mia. I'm all yours."
He kissed me and I felt him adjusting to make his member stroke between my legs, and I immediately froze.
"I won't enter you until you're ready, Mousie. Don't worry. I just want to make you feel good."
He thrusted a couple of times between my thighs, and made me moan with my eyes squeezed shut when the root of his member stroked the bundle of nerves that was hidden in the apex of my folds. He really did make me feel good. But I couldn't really relax.
"Mia? Look at me," he commanded softly. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want. Do you want me to stop?"
I shook my head.
"No, I just..."
He searched my eyes for answers, but I was too embarrassed to say it out loud. Still, he somehow understood.
"I'm your first?"
I nodded again and stared down at his chest.
"I'll be gentle, then."
I felt empty and cold when he withdrew and sat up on his knees, and I felt awfully exposed, since I had my legs spread wide open for him. Still, I felt relieved by the way he looked at me. This obviously meant more to him than a simple fuck. And when I watched him shield himself without me even asking about protection, I felt every trace of anxiousness slowly dissipate just to be replaced by anticipation and yearning.
He sat on his knees with his arousal proud and hard between his legs. But he took his sweet time and stroked up and down my thighs, until I relaxed and felt okay with him touching me at my most intimate place.
"Your pussy is drenched. That's so beautiful," he murmured with eyes colored by desire. "But what I like most of all is that you're wet because of me."
He chuckled lowly and kept studying my reactions to what he did to me. Especially when he penetrated me with a finger, then two, while he slowly stroked my inside to make sure I was comfortable with it. And I was. I was surprised by how badly I wanted him to take the next step. The final step. The one that would change me forever.
"Please," I moaned and begged at the same time, and Benjamin looked more aroused than ever. And when he climbed on top of me, I squealed internally, spread my legs for him and pulled him closer. Then I tensed up when I felt him hard and ready at my entrance.
"Relax. I don't want to hurt you, so you have to relax as much as you can. Okay?"
I nodded quickly and prepared myself for whatever came next. But I couldn't help but to hold my breath when he finally pushed inside.
"Mia? Look at me. Are you okay?"
I swallowed. I was, but it still felt strange to be expanded like this. And when he thrusted himself deeper, I groaned.
"Still okay?"
"Y-yeah, just... Move slowly."
"Of course."
He retracted a bit, then pushed back inside and his eyes fluttered shut in painful delight.
"Jesus, you're tight," he moaned. Then he leaned on his elbows, with more of his weight on me, so he could kiss me. He kept moving slowly until I started moaning for more, and I let out a little scream when he suddenly pushed balls deep inside.
"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, and looked awfully remorseful. But right after, I pulled him closer with my hands on his lower back, loving how his muscles flexed under my fingers.
"I'm okay," I whispered, meaning every word. It did feel good. No, more than good. Now that I've gotten used to having him inside me, I felt ecstatic, and I wanted nothing more than for him to move. I wanted him to take me to the top and let me fall into his arms when the wave took me. I wanted to cum. I wanted to feel exactly how I felt when Michael gave me the best orgasm I'd ever had.
Michael... Dammit.
I opened my eyes when Benjamin slowed down, and I felt confused. Did he cum? I didn't, and it made me awfully frustrated. So I was more than happy when he started moving again, this time a little faster and deeper than before, and I loved every second of it. I grasped at his back and pushed to meet his thrusts, and I placed my hands on his ass cheeks to make him go faster. I was finally getting my release, and I just couldn't stay silent about it no matter how hard I tried. And when I came, I came with a scream and a series of moans in the rhythm of my contractions.
Benjamin kept going, and I was now beyond the stage of utter bliss, feeling as though he prolonged my orgasm all until he finally came with a groan. Then we just breathed, heavy and frantically.
"Oh, my God," I giggled and made Benjamin giggle too.
"You're laughing at me?" he said and pouted, and my eyes widened, startled.
"No! God, no. I just... I feel so good. So happy. So..."
I giggled more when he started kissing me and growled into my neck. Then I felt the pressure disappear when he pulled out and disposed the condom.
"Good. Then I did something right."
"You did everything right," I said, not really caring how silly and cringy I sounded. I felt too euphoric. Too uplifted. And when he climbed back into bed and spooned me, I pulled his arm around me so I could hug it.
"Thank you," I whispered. My breathing was still labored, but I felt calmer now that I felt more like myself again. More like the boring, anxious Mia that was too lost in her own mind to see what was right in front of her. To see Benjamin.
"I love this."
Benjamin didn't answer. He just laid still and hugged me to his chest. I almost thought he'd fallen asleep. At least I was about to, until he spoke up after a long time in silence.
"Mia?"
"Mhm?"
"Who's Michael?"