TW: SUICIDE MENTION, SEX JOKES
I returned home after school and did end up having to talk to my parents about what happened the day before.
They ended up taking me to a doctor. They told the doctor I was depressed and now they're making me take antidepressants. They also almost made me go to therapy. I knew I didn't need it so I refused.
Today, it was Dec. 4, a Saturday. It has been a little over a week since they learned about my suicide plans.
They are still on edge about letting me date Darryl. They think if they don't let me, I'll try to kill myself again, and if they do, I'm only going to get my heartbroken. I was still staying with Darryl. Darryl would never breakup with me. He practically begged me to stay with him at the family dinner.
Every thing has just been so stressful lately, so I asked Darryl out on a date to the park where we could have a nice, relaxing picnic. I was planning for it to just be the two of us, but I guess Darryl was seeing it more of a hangout.
He invited George who invited Clay and some other girl we didn't know. Darryl also invited Valerie who invited Sam.
I wanted to cancel the date since it wasn't going to be the relaxing picnic I was hoping it would be, but Darryl seemed pretty excited to spend some time with our friends so I went on with it.
Darryl and I bought some of the food like sandwiches, cupcakes, strawberries, and cookies. We also brought the water.
We arrived at the park and found a good place to have the picnic take place at. We took a seat on the empty grass under a tree. We waited for the others to arrive.
The next people to come were Valerie and Sam. They had brought a blanket for all of us to sit on. This would be the first time I would see Valerie interact with Clay and George.
Clay, George, and the girl George invited all arrived a few minutes after Valerie and Sam. The three of them had scoops of ice cream in a cone. They took a seat next to the rest of us.
I raise an eyebrow to Clay and nod my head over to the unknown girl, signaling for him to introduce her. Clay shrugs. George noticed our body language and laughs.
George claps his hands together to get everyone's attention. "This is Scarlett," he tells us. She waves to us.
"Whose your friend, Sam?" Clay asks Sam, signaling to Valerie.
Sam smiles over at Valerie who smiles back. "This is Valerie. She's in our advisory and she's one of my closest friends!" I cringe at the words. I could tell Valerie did too.
We all introduced each other to Valerie and Scarlett. We started to eat, everyone took a sandwich and a cupcake.
I stood up straight next to Darryl. He rested his head on my shoulder while we ate. I knew everyone here except Scarlett knew we were dating, so it was fine to act as a couple around them, especially since Scarlett didn't attend our school.
We got a couple confused stares from Scarlett, but we ignored them. A street vendor selling hotdogs passes us. Darryl seemed to watch it as it passed by.
"You want some?" I ask him, pointing at it.
He nods, giving me a 'yes please' look. I dig in my pockets, realizing I had no money. I nudge Clay on his arm. "Can I borrow some money?" I whisper ask. He sighs before pulling out cash from his pockets.
"Fine. But you owe me," he hands me the money. I pat him on the shoulder as a thanking gesture.
I walk up to the vendor and buy hotdogs for the whole group. I return back and hand Clay the leftover change. He buries it deep in his pocket.
I hand everyone in our group a hotdog and we continue to eat. A group of little boys appear in the park, playing tag. The silence disappears and gets replaced by a bunch of little kids screaming. Sam and Valerie giggle at some inside joke. Clay, George, and Scarlett stay silent while eating.
Darryl seems to admire the little kids. "Whatcha looking at?" I ask trying to soften my voice. He subtly points at the little kid.
"Remember when you were young and played games like that?"
Clay laughs. "I'm pretty sure everyone has done that," Clay remarks sassily.
"Yeah, but don't you guys miss it?"
Clay continues to laugh, "What, do you want to go and play with them?"
"No," Darryl replies slowly.
I push Darryl playfully, "It's ok, you can go. We'll watch you,"
He scoffs. "Don't be ridiculous," he mumbles.
There's a silence. "Hey Darr?" I say in a quiet voice.
"Hm?"
"Do you want to be a dad?"
Clay and Scarlett both give us confused looks. "Oh God, they're about to have sex in front of us," Clay jokes.
I glare at him. Darryl shrugs. "Obviously not right now. But in the future it's really up to you,"
Scarlett whispers something in George's ears that results in George nodding. "How can two boys have a child?" I hear Scarlett mumble.
"Adoption, dumbass," I mumble.
Scarlett's head whips around to look at me, but I return a challenging look. Darryl giggles nervously. Valerie smirks at me.
There was another silence, my ears focused on the sounds of the kids. Darryl said it was my choice if we were to have kids in the future, but I didn't want to choose the wrong option. I was open to having a kid, but if Darryl didn't want one I didn't want to have one either.
Valerie and Sam start to giggle, "I have a feeling that Zak wanted this to be a private date and then Darryl invited us,"
I laugh along. "That's exactly what happened,"
Darryl looks at me and frowns. "Aww, Zak. I'm sorry! I thought you just wanted to hangout so I invited our friends,"
I giggle at his apology. "It's fine, we can have one any day," I reassure him.
Darryl's phone dings. He picks it up, I can't help but notice his wallpaper. I know what it is but I still ask.
"What's your wallpaper?" I ask.
"Huh? Oh. It's just the picture we took we Vincent in that photo booth a few months ago," he says softly, obviously upset by the thought of Vincent not being here anymore.
The word 'Vincent' triggered Clay's senses. He looks over to me with a nervous look.
"I miss Vincent," Darryl says sadly.
I start to feel more and more guilty. The only thing that washes these feelings down is lying, making empty promises.
"It's going to be ok. Vincent is probably ok. He's strong, and something I admire about him is that he always makes a way," These words came out of my mouth but still had the power to hurt me.
Darryl nods, Clay starts to sweat. "I know," Darryl sighs, "but I miss having him around. Plus, I always think the worse of things,"
"Who's Vincent?" Scarlett and Valerie ask at the same time. Scarlett's question seemed more directed to George.
"He was a good friend of ours. But he's gone missing recently," George explains.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Scarlett says.
"Oh! That's that one French boy in our advisory!" Valerie understands. We nod.
Bringing up Vincent brought another awkward silence. George and Scarlett whispered throughout the picnic. Bringing up Vincent made Clay uncomfortable, but now George excluding him from their conversations made him even more tense. Then, something happened that probably made Clay even more stressed.
"So," George raises his voice, stretching out the 'o'. "We just wanted to say something,"
Everyone's attention was on George.
"I've invited Scarlett on this picnic because," he doesn't speak for a short amount of time trying to build tension.
"Go on?" Sam insists.
"Scarlett is my girlfriend,"
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Thank you for reading part 35 :)
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