episode 18
~adam up~
"i'm really sorry i wasn't there to help with douglas and chase," valerie sighed, leaning against a locker while bree grabbed her books for her.
"how many times do we have to tell you it's alright? you broke your foot saving us, i put you on house arrest for a reason."
"but it's so boring," she complained, causing bree to chuckle and shake her head. "are we still on for tonight?"
"of course," bree smiled. the two stared at each other for a couple seconds before chase approached them and awkwardly cleared his throat.
"let's go, lovebirds."
"can't you go annoy jenna?"
"she's still sick," chase frowned as the three began to walk to their class.
"hey! hansel and gretel—-gosh, i still need a name for you, balderas—-my niece is visiting from, uhm, wherever she lives. and i'm gonna assign you three to be chaperones for a couple of days."
"oh, uh, well. see, i can't-"
"-we're so sorry-"
"-band rehearsal-"
"oh, that's so cute! you think you have a choice!" perry interrupted their excuses.
"but why would you want us to show her around? you can't stand us."
"oh, you've noticed. look, my niece is sweet and innocent. if she hangs around the cool kids, they'll corrupt her. crippled and her band are the only acceptable ones. anyways, that's why she's hanging with you. if it's unclear, let me spell it out. you two are not cool."
"hi, aunt terry!"
"kerry, darling! this is valerie, uhm, gimme a second, kevin? suzan?"
"bree and chase," the brunette girl corrected while val struggled to hold in her snickering.
"no one really cares," perry giggled.
"nice to meet you! i'm kerry perry! thanks for showing me around," she shook their hands, "i hope it's not too much of a bother."
"no, no. we are happy to be forced to help."
"great. now, if you'll excuse me, i'm headed to the chem lab to sear off a wart."
"fascinating," valerie sarcastically mumbled once their principal couldn't hear her.
"bye, aunt terry! here's the deal, ladies. i'm skipping school and hitting the mall. and when i get there, i'm gonna plant a dead fly in my burrito and eat for free."
"that's kinda smart."
"yeah, i would invite you but you don't seem like you can walk much. what even happened to your foot?"
"i'm sorry," chase changed the topic, "but as your chaperone-"
"shut it, squat mug! little elves called, they want you back at the tree to make cookies."
"uhm, you can't talk to us like that."
"ha! just did, boy-hips!"
"alright, dora-"
"-i don't look like dora-"
"-believe want you wanna believe, but just watch your mouth, alright?"
"or what? you'll whack me with your crutches?"
"you know, that sounds fun," valerie glanced down.
"i like you," kerry crossed her arms.
"yeah, it's not mutual," the hispanic winked.
"i'm outta here."
"you can't just go."
"yeah, what are we supposed to tell your aunt? besides the fact that she should round up some bail money?" bree joked, and kerry randomly slammed the speedy girl's books to the floor.
"tell her i was with you two nimrods all day! and with valerie, of course. you better do my homework, or else, you'll get this. aunt terry! they were so mean to me! make them pay! make them pay," she pretended to sob. "so, we good? later, peeps."
"okay, she is definitely a perry," chase spoke up.
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
"math homework, chemistry homework, history homework," he handed the papers to the annoying younger girl.
"and here's your art project. don't expect an 'a.'"
"don't expect a 'thank you.' thank you, val!"
"first of all, we're not on those terms, and never will be. second of all, i just watched them do everything and fell asleep."
"be grateful here! now give me twenty bucks," kerry demanded.
"for what?" bree asked.
"milkshakes for me and my girls. fork it over, princess!"
"wha-"
"hey," valerie stopped her from shoving her hand into bree's purse. "here," she groaned, taking out her wallet and giving kerry a twenty dollar bill.
"were you raised by a gang of bikers?"
"that's it. we are done with this," bree complained when she spotted perry leaving the gym. "principal perry. we need to have a little discussion about your niece."
"we sure do. she loves you three!"
"what? that's impossible."
"i know, i find you repulsive. she said valerie is her favorite, i'm not very surprised. thanks for watching kerry. this morning i got to spend an extra hour at the dog track!"
"okay, that's great, but we-"
"so now i need you to watch her tonight. i'm playing flag football with the sheriffs."
"and how do you get to play flag football with the sheriffs?" chase questioned.
"go to enough highway wrecks with free pizza and they let you in," perry informed. "anyway, if you watch kerry, i might just forget about the detention days you've accrued."
"what detentions days?"
"you mouthin off? you just got detention!"
"what? you can't do that!"
"just did, sally sideburns!"
"that is it. we are done watch-"
"uh, can you just give us one second, please?" chase pulled the two away.
well, he pulled bree, and patiently waited for val to get to their side.
"look. okay, the girl is a nightmare, but if we do this, we might just get on principal perry's good side."
"the woman has many sides-"
"-none of them are good."
"fine, we'll do it. we can just reschedule our date," she looked over at bree, who rolled her eyes, huffed, and nodded. they walked over back to perry, and let's just say, she was traumatizing the poor water fountain.
"we've discussed it, and kerry is more than welcome to come over tonight."
"there you go again, acting like you have a choice."
ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
"come on," val stopped bree from following adam and leo.
"what?"
"our date," she smiled, leading the girl out to her car. "not our mess to fix."
"you're right, they can figure it out for themselves."
about an hour later, the two came back to the mansion with frozen yogurt, regretting opening the front door.
"i cannot handle this many adams. the world cannot handle this many adams. this is armageddon!"
"it doesn't make any sense. if there's one thing i'm good at, it's breaking things, and i definitely broke that duplicator."
"oh did i not mention that the duplicates can multiply on their own?" eddie popped up. "they just had to learn how, and guess what? i taught them!"
"wait where were you two?" chase asked the girls just as there was a knock.
"yoo-hoo! anybody home?" perry's voice was heard from the other side of the door.
"guys, that's principal perry!"
"great, so now there are eighteen adams walking around, and no kerry."
"shh! let's just pretend we're not here."
"i heard that," perry said, causing leo to take his hands off his own mouth and val's. "you don't think my parents tried that on me at christmas? kerry? are you okay? open up!"
"everything's fine! we just need a second," chase replied.
"listen up, little pigs! i've got a welding torch and a battering ram in my trunk. this could go easy or this could go hard."
they all jogged over to the kitchen(except for valerie, who plopped down on the couch) where chase began to zap the duplicate adams, making them disappear.
"that's only seventeen. there's one left, where is he?"
"i don't know."
"look out below!" perry crashed down the chimney.
"did you just shimmy down the chimney?"
"i'm so done," val mumbled, slapping her hand against her forehead.
"it's okay, i'm a professional. used to be a chimney sweep back in the nineties. learned the hard way not to wear a skirt. now, where's my niece?"
"uh, she's just getting her things together," bree lied.
"she'll be out any minute," valerie called from her spot.
"hey, guys," the last adam showed up.
"hey, adam," chase panicked after doing a double take. "adam?"
"what's going on? why are there two of you?"
"you must have got some soot on your glasses!"
"oh, yeah! yes, you did!" leo joined. "let's get those cleaned right off."
"oh."
"hey! maybe we can have a snack. would you like a celery stick?"
"what do you think? point me to your premium meats."
"hurry up and zap them."
"alright, which one of you is the real adam?"
"i am," they both said in unison.
"just zap them both," val groaned, getting up and hopping over there. when bree gave her a look, she used her molecular kineses to glide the crutches over to their side. "hidden ability," she whispered.
"i can't. if i zap the real adam, the jolt of electricity will fry his bionic infrastructure."
"well, you gotta zap one of 'em."
"may the best adam win."
"good luck, bro."
"zap that one," val nodded to the adam on the right.
"why?"
"because he hasn't done this," she signaled to the other adam, who chuckled and threw chase down the hall.
without any hesitation, bree shot the duplicate.
"bye-bye."
"go home now," bree forced her girlfriend out the door. "you're still on house arrest."
"i think i'm gonna stop complaining about that."
~
pls i don't know where to fit in valerie-