Gunita [EDITING]

treinta y otso

I stared at Uno trying to absorb everything he has told me. A part of me did not want to believe this side of the story, but a part of me knew that they would really do something so cruel... and gruesome as this, just for them to preserve their namesake.

Their ill-gotten wealth they've been protecting for ages.

Of course, they did not want it to belong to someone who does not even have any kind of power to begin with.

But she was... no, she is my mother.

Naramdaman ko ang unti-unting pagpatak ng luha mula sa mga mata ko, hanggang sa hindi ko na mapigilan ang malakas na paghagulgol. Hinayaan lang ako ni Uno—hinila papalapit sa kaniya at niyakap nang mahigpit habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

Halos hindi ako makahinga... it felt like my mind went blank. I wanted to scream so bad, pero wala nang lumalabas sa bibig ko.

I was just crying... and trying to let things sink into my mind.

Pakiramdam ko tuluyan na lang ako mababaliw sa sobrang dami ng nangyayari. Sa lahat ng ginagawa nila sa amin... sa lahat ng atraso nila sa'kin.

By this time it all became clearer... they never treated me as family. I only had my father's surname—but nobody treated me as one—well maybe my father did... but aside from him it felt like no one. I was the biggest collateral damage that they could have. I was their shock absorber. They knew I am the achiever because I wanted to prove myself that I am worthy, and they used that as an advantage.

And that wanted me to blind myself from the truth. To just run away, and never look back... when I knew deep within me that if I don't fight back. Who will?

If I can protect myself, sino'ng poprotekta sa mga taong naaapi?

I can't let my mother's death be in vain.

"Brianna... breathe," Uno shouted, pulling me back to my senses. Tears were still non-stop and I still couldn't breathe properly but if it weren't for him trying to wake the hell out of me, I might've just killed myself without even realizing. "Love... please."

"U-Uno... ang hirap," I said, trying to find the right words I could tell. I knew I was not in a good shape... the panic attack says it all. "A-ang hirap iproseso... kasi alam mo 'yun? Buong buhay ko... buong buhay ko ang akala ko namatay 'yung mommy ko sa sakit. Pinaniwala nila ako... Gano'n ba talaga sila kawalang-hiya? Na kahit sino na lang? Ilang tao pa ba ang mamamatay para sa kanila?"

"You know, Uno? Sana pinatay na lang din nila ako noon... kasi ang sakit, ang sakit-sakit na malaman na gano'n 'yung sinapit ng mommy ko, tapos ako nandito buhay... I have all the privileges to enjoy, pero para saan? Para ano?" Humiwalay ako sa pagkakayakap kay Uno at napatakip na lamang ng mukha ko habang patuloy lang na umiiyak. "Para pagtakpan silang lahat? Maging collateral damage? Nakakasawa na... pagod na pagod na'ko..."

Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap sa'kin ni Uno habang hinahalikan ang ulo ko. Hinayaan niya lang ako umiyak hanggang sa napagod na lang ako.

"Brandi... I'll save you. I'll save you whatever it takes."

***

"Packing, love?" I checked my wristwatch before finishing my packing. I really did not realize na sobrang hassle na umuuwi pa'ko sa bahay kahit malapit lang naman sa hospital 'yung bahay namin—siguro kasi enthusiastic pa'ko no'ng unang week. Pero isang oras lang kasi ang meron ako after the 24-hour shift, tapos kailangan ko nang tapusin 'yung next 8 hours para makumpleto 'yung 32-hour duty... sobrang draining pero dito naman ako masaya.