cuarenta y uno

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Pakiramdam ko nahilo lang ako sa lahat ng sinabi sa'kin ni Irish. Pagkatapos naming mag-usap, umalis din naman kaagad siya sa ospital. I stayed at the café for a minute or two, trying to regain my strength. At some point it was very hard to accept... but then it got clearer.

When I realized that I was already okay, I rushed to Gio.

"Gio... hindi kayo 'yung nagbuhat sa'kin sa hotel."

"Ma'am—"

"That was Uno... right?" Kahit kaunting hope lang... gusto ko lang malaman kung totoo. Kung may kinakapitan pa nga ba ako, kasi ayaw ko namang mag-assume... Kasi baka pagod na lang talaga siya kaya niya ginawa 'yun.

That little spark of hope can still light a lot.

For me, it's the hope to still fight.

As long as alam kong nandiyan si Uno... lalaban ako.

Gio sighed, "Yes ma'am," he uttered. "He's always observing you whenever he has the time... but he has to stay distant for a while to keep you safe."

"But you're here..."

"Ma'am we still weren't able to prevent the recent incident," he said. "The best option for now is for the both of you to stay low. The game they're playing is very dangerous for the both of you."

"So Irish... she's going to whistle blow..."

Gio paused for a while before he nodded.

Napakuyom ako ng kamao at napapikit na lang. Ang hirap nilang kalabanin... but secrets aren't supposed to be secrets—more so, dark ones. They're all bound to be out there, someday.

And that someday would mean freedom. For us.

"Make sure to always update on his friend's security, okay?" Gio nodded. Napangiti na lamang ako at napalinga, trying to find Uno but I knew he won't be here...

I sighed.

Kaunting panahon na lang. All we have to do is to find the right timing for everything, because the moment we move without enough evidence, then we're all screwed.

We're probably just looking for our imminent death.

Pero pagod na'ko do'n... I've had enough of this bloodbath. I just want this to end... for people to finally wake up. That these people aren't gods to be praised upon.

They're traitors, to be honest. They keep secrets—tons of them; they lie and lie, and those lies cost lives of people—of alive beings. They've robbed several lives and dreams just to keep their power in place, and we... we are also victims.

Anyone can be a victim.

I went back to my post and apologized to Tims since it took me long kahit saglit lang naman 'yung paalam ko. Wala naman na rin daw masyadong ginagawa kaya umidlip lang siya saglit no'ng umalis ako kanina. I bought him coffee na lang din to give thanks. Madaling-araw naman na kaya medyo chill na lang din at tumatapos na lang ng write-ups para i-submit sa Chief.

"Alam mo Bran. Pwede ka bang i-real talk?" Tims sat beside me after coming from a patient habang inaayos niya 'yung clipboard niya.

Natawa naman ako sa sinabi ni Tims, "Bakit?"

Tims sighed, "The past few days—hindi actually... years na. We've been friends for like how many years already, and I have been observing you and the people around you. Look at them, there's always something that pushes them to fight for something, or do something," he said. "And then there's you... you want to fight, I know. You want to fight and be with them, but you've always been held captive by your fears..."

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