BREATHE -draco malfoy

thirty one.

"I'm sorry," Harry said as he sat down on the edge of the bottom bunk, tentatively approaching Ana as she sat curled up in the corner of the mattress, her arms wrapped around her legs. Ana looked just as she had before Harry had asked her to dance with him, curled into herself and staring blankly at the tent's wall. Harry felt awful. The look she had on her face...that's not the look you want to be given after kissing a girl. Ana had looked heartbroken after he kissed her, even terrified. Harry was half afraid to even speak to Ana, as she had been gone for an entire hour or two before she returned, looking puffy and defeated. Hermione had already gone to bed by then and she was slumbering restlessly across the room, turned away. But Harry had stayed up, wanting to give Ana space but also wanting to run after her and explain why he had kissed her, how long he had wanted to kiss her. Hermione had told him to leave Ana alone, though, and as Hermione was also in such a depressive state over Ron, he had listened to her. But Harry was nervous, as he didn't want to allow another one of his friends to leave, like Ron had, all because of his mistakes. 

"It's fine," Ana said, but her voice was deflated and monotone. She didn't even look over. The pitch of her voice didn't change. She was empty, having cried out all of her emotion in the forest. She had sat next to a lonely tree for two hours, crying over everything she could think of, trying to purge herself of her sorrow. She cried over Harry's kiss, over Draco, over how Draco would react when she told him that she had been kissed by Harry Potter, as she would obviously have to tell him about it, if she ever saw him again. Ana stared blankly at the wall as Harry sat awkwardly, not knowing what to say, but knowing that he had to say something. 

"I didn't get it," Harry said firmly. "The extent of you and...Malfoy," he said. Ana turned to him then, shifting a little as she wrapped her blanket further around herself. She was freezing from her catharsis, as it was winter now and she had spent hours sitting in the snow. She looked over at Harry and he looked so sad, so tortured. Ana didn't want Harry to think that she hated him. She hated herself more. So she took a deep breath, preparing herself for the conversation.

"Of course you don't get it, why would you?" Ana said, a sad, ironic chuckle coming out from her. "You hate him."

"Explain it to me then," Harry said, his eyes flickering, his voice tinged with sadness. This is not something that Harry really wanted to hear, how the girl he had had a crush on since first year had fallen for his enemy. And Harry had liked Ana, even been in love with her, ever since that day on the train when she had sat next to him at only eleven years old, lessening his nervousness at the thought of his first day at Hogwarts. But maybe her explanation would show him, once and for all, that he couldn't pursue Ana anymore, something he had been subtly doing for nearly seven years now.

"I know who he is, Harry," Ana said darkly, turning her gaze to her hands. She wasn't toying with Draco's ring, as she so often did, but rather staring at it, pretending that the silver on her pointer finger was really the silver in Draco's eyes. "I know what he's done. But...he's mine. You know?" At these words, Ana darkened further, remembering how she had uttered the words like a prayer that night in Draco's bed: I'm yours. She had said it over and over again as Draco had made love to her, claiming her that night in his dormitory. And she was his, even more so now. And he was hers, even when he was so far away, so disconnected from her.

"We've never talked about it," Harry whispered, starting to relax a little, now that Ana was speaking to him in more than just a few syllables. "You and him, how it...happened."

Ana chuckled a little, the whole story of her and Draco's relationship flashing across her mind's eye. "You don't want to hear that story," she said, a sad smile on her face. 

"I do," Harry said. "I want to understand." Ana shifted her gaze to Harry's eyes again, her face falling a little. She didn't really want to talk about it, as it hurt to recall it out loud, even the happy parts. But Harry was looking at her expectantly, and Ana knew that he really, truly wanted to know how her and Draco had gotten together.