I'm here at living room waiting for Rosé to come home. It 10pm, she should be here any moment. I'm used to it. She always come home late. She's my long time girlfriend. We've been together for 7 years and 2 years ago we decided to live together.
I hear the door open. I saw her enter. "Have you eaten? I prepare food for us." I said as I approach her. "I'm not hungry." She said flatly. She must be tired.
"Ohh.. but I-" "I said I'm not hungry! I'm not in the mood Jisoo, I'm tired let me rest." She exclaimed.
"Sorry. Go, take some rest." I told her. She went straight back to our room. I walk to the kitchen and put the food in the refrigerator. I walk to our room but I heard her laugh before I turn the door knob. "Hahaha.. silly you.. of course I want too.. yes.. hahaha sure.. bye, miss you too" she said those words. I enter the our room. "Whose you're talking too?" I asked. "None of your business. I'll sleep now." She said flatly.
I'm trying to suppress my tears. I know what's happening. I'm not dumb. I lay beside her. I want to hug her, ask how's her day but I'm scared. I'm scared that she will say that she's enjoying herself more than without me.
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It's her birthday today. I'm supposed to make her breakfast but she left early. So, I asked my boss to have an early leave so I can make something for her. I'm planning on making her a birthday cake. I get the ingredients that I need. I will make a red velvet cake, that's her favorite flavor.
It's 7pm when I finished baking the cake and put some decorations on it. She said she will be home by 8 so I clean myself up to look decent.
It's 8pm, she's still not here. I texted her asking where she is but no reply from her.
It's 9pm. The food that I prepared is getting cold.
10pm become 11pm. It's almost midnight but she's still not here. I call her but no answer. I'm starting to get worried.
I am about to call her but the door suddenly open. It's 12:30am. It's not her birthday anymore.
"What happened to you? I've been calling you several times but you're not answering. Where we're you?" I asked her. "I went outside with my colleague." She plainly answer. "You could've just told me. Is it hard for you to pick up your phone? Did it ever cross your mind that you have a girlfriend that is worrying about you? I've waited for you to come home to celebrate your birthday. You told me you will be here at 8 and it's almost 1am." I said because of frustration.
"I never told you to get worried about me. I'm a grown up woman, I can take care of myself. And who told you wait for me? Why are you always waiting? I told you before stop waiting for me!" She answer. I know she's mad.
"You know what, if we're gonna argue again, forget it. I'm tired." She exclaimed. I was expecting her to go in our room but no, she went outside.
I want to follow her but I know it will be a waste of time.
I never thought that we will be like this. Everything was perfect. We're happy and there's always love and affection between us.
Not until she told me that she got promoted. I'm proud of her, I'm so happy for her.
She always stays at her office, we never get chance to have time with each other.
I understand that she's busy with her work. I am too. But whenever I asked her to go on a date with me, she always have and excuse.
Then one day, the most feared day of my life had come. "We need to talk." She said. I know what is the meaning of this. I don't want to hear it so I change the topic.
"Jisoo, I know you know that this--" I cut her off. "Lisa is inviting us to her studio. She said she have a new collection that she wants us to see." I'm trying to divert the topic.
"Jisoo, stop it. I know your trying to change the topic. But you know what's going on. We can't take this any longer, we both-" I cut her off again.
"Please, Baby.. let's not do this.. did I did something wrong? Are you mad at me? Please forgive me.. huh? Please.." I beg her. "I'll make it up to you. I won't ask any questions, I'll be understanding. I'll do everything, just please.. please don't break up with me." I continuesly beg her. I love her so much.
After that incident. She gave me another chance. So I did everything that I can to bring back her love for me. I wake up early just to make breakfast fo her, I always text her to remind her to not skip lunch and take care of herself. I always buy her a flowers just like what I did before.
Whenever she left home, I always go to our room cry myself out. I'm too exhausted. I'm so tired. My heart is breaking into tiny pieces.
Why is it so hard for you to love me back again? What happen to us Chaeng? How did you fell out of love from me?
I know that I'm being hard on myself. I know that even if I tried to divert her attention to me, she'll still look somewhere else. I know that even though I feel like I'm dying, I always choose her.
Cause I know that I can't never let go of her.
