Random Oneshots

Deadpool

Word count: 488

This isn't from either movie or the comics it's just ✨here✨

"dibs that big one."

I whisper to Wade, motioning in a vague direction.

"only if I get those two."

"deal."

Also Vanessa doesn't exist.

"go!"

Wade says, jumping from behind our rock, surprising the bad guys.
I think their bad guys.
Anyway, I follow close behind Wade, running at the big guy.

After some cool fighting moves because the writer can't write fight scenes (ahem), I go to help Wade, shooting randomly, barely looking.
A few people fall and Wade shouts at me before stomping over and smacking across the head.
I just grin at him.
"sorry babe."

"you could at least try to be careful."

"yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

I find the bullet hole, a small one going straight through his stomach. I poke it and pull a face.

"sorry."

"mmhm. Sure you are."

I roll my eyes and kick a dead guy out of our path, grabbing Wade's hand to lead him over to the road. We walk alone beside it until we get to a bus stop, and after a quick and awkward trip, we're back at home.

As soon as we get in the door, Wade pulls off his mask and unzips his suit, sighing at the release of pressure on his body.
I roll my eyes and flop onto the couch, pulling a gun from under the cushions and chucking it to the side.

"I'd kill for a burrito, babe."

Wade groans, lying down in my lap, stretching out, taking all my space.

"can't be fucked."

I push Wade off me.

"too bad. Let's go."

He grabs my arm, pulling me off the couch.
I comply, groaning as we walk down the many stairs and onto the street, hand in hand. Wade lowers his head as we walk past people, his ears turning red. I give his hand a squeeze and we turn down a side road and onto the back streets.

"you ok?"

I ask him, trying to look at his face.
He avoids my gaze.

"yeah I'm all good."

I give him a quick kiss and then walk in silence until we get to the little family owned Mexican restaurant/takeaway place that Wade likes so much. We go in and are greeted with welcomes and hellos.

We're sitting on the roof of a skyscraper finishing off our food when Wade turns to me.

"y/n."

He says, staring at me.

"yeah, Wade?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Is that what you wanted to say?"

"no. Watch this."

And with that, he jumps off the building, does a series of beautifully formed flips and then lands with an ungraceful splat on the street below.

I shout at down him.

"FUCK YOU, WADE!"

I look back behind me at security guards coming onto the roof.
He just didn't want to help clean up.