True Blue - A Second Chance Romance (Complete)

Chapter 41

Finn couldn't sleep.

He was dead tired, his eyelids practically glued together. It had been days since he last caught any solid shut-eye.  And the sheets on Beth and Lance's guest room bed might be the softest material he had ever felt. The couple had insisted he come home with them instead of returning to the base.  Lance even let him borrow some much-needed fresh clothes while they washed his fatigues.

Still, he couldn't sleep. Rubbing his chest, he tried to get the ache of missing Emily to fade. When she insisted he leave the hospital, get a home-cooked meal and rest, Finn had wanted to resist.  Yet he knew she was right.  He was about to fall over with exhaustion.  But couldn't bear to be away from her.

For the hundredth time, Finn slipped his fingers in his pant's pocket, searching for the warm gold band. As requested, Simon retrieved their mother's engagement ring from the vault in his office.

His brother had beamed at him when he handed it over. The whispered "I'm really happy for you" set him off-kilter. They hadn't been close for almost a decade and having his big brother's approval was not something Finn would have guessed mattered to him. But once offered, it meant more than he expected. Maybe this could be a fresh start for them.

A fresh start. His heart had almost exploded with joy when Emily referred to him as her fiancée in front of her entire family. A small part of him particularly enjoyed putting Mary in her place. Finn supposed he would have to try to find a way to be nice to her as well.  For Emily's sake.

Emily, who was lying alone in a hospital room.

Finn couldn't stand it any longer.  Jumping out of bed, he pulled up a rideshare on his phone to see how long it would take to get back to her.

Making his way downstairs, he noticed a light on in the kitchen.  Taking a peek, he saw Lance dishing out a bowl of ice cream.

"Couldn't sleep either?" Lance growled.

Finn shook his head. "I...I'm going-"

"Back to the hospital."

"How did you...?"

"It's what I'd do."  Lance grabbed a set of keys off the counter and tossed them at Finn. "Take my car."

Resisting the urge to wrap this man in a hug, Finn managed a reserved but heart-felt thank you instead.

A tray of cappuccinos and croissants in hand as a bribe for the night shift, Finn used every negotiation tactic he knew to get past the nurses station. The two night nurses took pity on him and chucked as he ran down the hallway leading to Emily's room.

The sight of her sleeping form made the ache in his heart lessened.  Even with her back to him, it was easier to breathe.  Emily was safe and sound.

Yet it wasn't quite enough. Since he was here, Finn crept around the bed to gaze upon her beautiful face. To discover Emily awake, silent tears streaming down her face.

Finding himself on his knees before her, he cried her name, "Em, are you in pain?"

"F...Finn" His name got caught in her sobs. Her hand reached out to clutch at him.

"Let me get the nurse." He made to stand up.

"No," she mewed. She rubbed her nose. Finn watched her try to gain some composure. After a pause she whispered, "The...nurses... can't help."

"Is it because I left? I didn't want to. That's why I came back."

Emily was shaking her head. "It's not that."  She looked down at their entwined hands. "I..." more tears trickled down her cheek. Finn reached out and gently brushed them away.

"Help me understand, Em." His heart hurt, seeing her in so much pain. "What is it? Talk to me."

She pressed her forehead into his chest and took a shaky breath. Then another. Her shivering diminished with each one. "When I close my eyes...I...it happens again."

Finn didn't need an explanation.  Post-traumatic stress disorder was a part of life in the military and nobody escaped its clutches. He kept his own demons buried deep, the pain of his mistake too much to comprehend.  And now his sweet Emily had joined this non-exclusive club. It saddened and angered him.  She should never have to go through this.

"Move over Em," Finn requested. Emily created space for Finn in the small bed, the scratchy sheets a far cry from Beth's. He gathered her up in his arms and held her as he whispered in her ear. "The explosion?"

Emily flinched at his words. Finn squeezed her a little tighter. "It helps to talk about it."

"I feel so ashamed. It's nothing compared to what you've seen."

He kissed the top of Emily's head. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. You've been through something terrible. You wouldn't be human if it didn't affect you."

"It was horrible." The tears flowed again as Emily told her story, her hand clenching his shirt.  Finn didn't try to stop them. Crying was cathartic.  Like talking.

He stayed as calm as possible, focusing on Emily. Murmuring a word or two of encouragement to continue when she paused. There would be plenty of time later to reprimand himself for bringing her into the situation in the first place. 

"I tried to be brave. But I wasn't. I almost gave up hope. And then you arrived to save me."

Finn clucked in disgust. "Some rescue that turned out to be. I got you shot."

Throughout the telling of her tale, Emily had slowly released her grip on his shirt and she placed that hand over his heart. "Technically, I think I got myself shot."

"Oh great. Now we are going to argue over who maimed who. That'll be a great story for the grandkids," Finn tried to joke with her. It must have worked as he felt her smile against his chest. The band wrapped around his heart eased a little. "Did I ever tell you about the time Simon tried to chop off my finger?"

Emily shook her head.

"We were playing pirates," Finn spoke slowly and softly in Emily's ear, keeping his tone low and even. As he talked, he traced his fingers up and down Emily's back in synch with the pace of his words. It was not long before she relaxed in his arms. A few minutes more her steady breathing let him know she had fallen asleep.

Despite the shard of shame in his heart, for the first time in eight years, Finn fell asleep holding the woman he loved.