Unexpected

Chapter 40

Willow cried and my eyes blinked a bit trying to process the sudden awakening. Then, I realized how close James and I were sleeping and how his arm was on around my waist. His eyes opened too a bit after and instead of going to our daughter we just stayed there staring at each other while Willow cried at the top of her lungs. There, is arm slid and his hand tugged unto my waist as in a caress which made me shudder and want him. I loved him so much and yet I was now so afraid to let my feelings run free.

"What time is it?" He asked in a sleepy tone.

"Seven thirty." I answered feeling my body burning under his hand and his soft touch.

He turned on his back taking his hand away to rub his eyes and a heavy sigh escaped his lips. A desperate sigh I dare to say. I immediately pulled the sheet away and got up.

"She wants to eat." I said aware that he was bothered from having to wake up that soon in the morning.

As I grabbed Willow in my arms, her crying became less loud and James was just watching us, still disturbed

"I'll take her downstairs. You can sleep a bit more if you want." I told him and he must have noticed my sudden dry tone. Though I didn't mean to, my words to come out that dry.

"I'll go with you." He said getting up too. "You'll feed her and I'll make something for us." I just nodded, and so we did.

Breakfast was rather silent for two people who were meant to work things out between them, or at least, that were supposed to try to. I didn't want to pick up a fight, and probably neither did he, so silence was all we were able to give to each other for quite some time. Then, when Willow was calm and our stomachs were full, James decided to talk.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked me.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" I asked instead of answering.

"We're not going back to sleep. She's fully awake and she won't let us, so why not?"

"Ok..." I said, nodding.

We took turns looking after the baby while each one of us prepared ourselves to leave. I went to shower first. Then, while he took his, I prepared Willow to leave the house. There's just this arsenal of stuff you have to take with you when you have a two-month baby, and nothing could be forgotten. James appeared in the room a good half an hour later in black shorts, white shirt, and flip flops, contrasting with my pink ones and black shirt. We left right after. I pushed the stroller and we walked towards the pier in silence for a while, then he was the one speaking again.

"I am sorry if I was rude this morning." He told me.

"Your words weren't rude; it was just your body language." I said.

"I didn't mean it by blaming her you know... I just wanted to sleep more. I know she's just too little to have regular schedules, so that had nothing to do with her. I woke up in the middle of the night with the guys coming home all drunk. They were too noisy and then it took me long to go back to sleep, so I was kind of cranky but not because of her." He explained and there I understood.

"They're just having fun and enjoying themselves..." I said.

"You know when I told you I didn't want to have kids it was mainly because of this. I mean... I know a baby just traps you. You have to live according to their schedules and you can't go out when you want to, and I had lived that, and now I was free again because my kids are big enough to go out and not sulk and they're ok. They love to stay up late. That was the reason why I didn't want to have a baby." He explained a bit more.