Unexpected

Chapter 8

After the show, he didn't go to the party. I had a hard time trying to talk to him but he always avoided me or shut me up, so I quit and went with the others to have a little fun. If he didn't want to talk to me, then there was nothing I could do. Only... it wasn't funny at all. I sat on a barstool hammering on his words and my heart was just telling me to go to him. He had told me that he was in love with me. That's a huge confession and I didn't want him to think that what he had told me didn't matter at all. That it didn't make a difference. I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. If I wanted to show him that I cared, and that he mattered, I had to go there. I had to show him that I cared. It was up to me. So, I got up ready to go back to the hotel and knock on his door, but when I was ready to get and do so, Connie sat by my side ready to talk. I was not in the mood to talk. I wanted to go and find James.

"Europe is almost done, next is the States." She said. I smiled at her and nodded. "Do you miss home?"

"Not exactly. LA is not really my home. I came to realize that. I went there full of dreams and I got so many disappointments. Life is far from easy in there. Home is Illinois, where my parents are, my whole family, my friends..." I still tried to be nice and followed her lead.

"But you have friends in LA." I nodded at her.

"Yeah... I do. I cannot deny that, but it doesn't feel like home. Of course I miss it there a bit. My friends I guess..." I said.

"And your boyfriend, right?" She implied.

I wished she hadn't gone there. Everything was beginning to be so far from the truth. "He's not my boyfriend. He broke up with me." I put things like that.

"But he called..." She smiled. Connie was so pretty and gentle, I really loved her.

"And... can you believe it?" I exclaimed and shook my head. "A while back, I would have given anything, and I really mean it when I say anything, for that phone call, but now... now it's so late. So many things happened." I told her the truth.

"Yeah... I know..." She grabbed my hand as if she knew what I meant.

I couldn't help but wonder if I was that transparent.

"It's a big mess..." I admitted. "I don't know how these things happen to me."

"Maybe you should talk to him." She advised me. "And fully admit it to yourself. It's been a while since I noticed how you interact with him." She told me.

"This is making me uncomfortable." I said trying to stop the conversation there. The fact that James was married was just too embarrassing. "I don't know if I am in love with him, ok?" I said but lying out of pure pride. I needed to talk and I trusted her. "I am confused... he's married and stuff..."

"We don't choose the one we fall in love with. Love doesn't know marital status. It simply happens and I think there has been some space given for it to happen, otherwise it wouldn't. He gave you that space for a reason..." Connie hinted and I curled an eyebrow.

Did she know something that I didn't? Or maybe he had juts talked to Lars and Lars had told her.

"Oh Connie, this is a very long story." I said recalling how the space was given and what had happened secretly between us.

"Sometimes, when we play with fire we get burned." I laughed at her remark. I was then sure she knew more.

"Look..." I said getting up. "I love talking to you but I need to go somewhere urgently. I was about to leave when you sat here, don't get me wrong." She smiled and shook her head letting me know it was alright. "I really need to go." I said, knowing I had to find James.