Her Diary

Entry 13

Can I say I love you today ?

If not, can I ask u again tomorrow ?

And the day after tomorrow ?

And the day after that ?

"Coz I'll be loving you every single day. And surely my love will never fade away."

I'm lucky to have someone like Raid. Alam na alam ko sa sarili ko kung gano nya ko kamahal at damang-dama ito. Hindi nya lang ito pinaparamdam kundi araw-araw nya ding ipinapaalala sakin.

"I love you. Every seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, and decades of my life, I will always love you."

First monthsary. Isang buwan na kong nakakaramdam ng pagmamahal. Isang buwan na simula ng nagpasya akong maging masaya at magpakaselfish. Isang buwan na ring sinasabi't pinaparamdam ni Raid ang pagmamahal nya sakin. Sa loob ng panahong ito, inaamin kong naging masaya ako ngunit sa panahong ding iyon ay may napatunayan. I proved to myself how I'm stupid enough not to loved back Raid. Masakit. Nasasaktan at nakokonsensya ako dahil hindi ko man lang kayang tapatan yun pagmamahal nya sakin.

Isang buwan na kong nagpapakamasarili. I think I should stop now. Napakabait ni Raid Vince para makulong lang sakin. I don't deserve him because he deserve someone better.. someone who is bettet than me. Someone that can love him truly. Someone that will say 'iloveyoutoo' instead of saying 'ilikeyou.' A girl that never needed him to forget the one she loved, but a woman who needed him because she loves him.

For a month, I smile again and that 's because of Raid but still, I can't love him. Pinatunayan lang ng sarili ko kung gaano ko kamahal si Tristan. Yes. I'm still inlove with him no matter how I've been hurt gazillion times. It's still him. :'(

Pathetic, right? But still, this is what I feel. I still love my 'bes'. And, I know Tristan needs me. I heard that they broke up also today. The day that I celebrated my first monthsary with Raid sana.. pero I chose to break his heart also. Mas pinili kong puntahan si Tristan kesa ang sumipot sa date dapat namin ni Raid. Mas pinili ko na masaktan yun taong nagmamahal sakin ng sobra para sa taong hindi man lang ata alam na mahal ko sya.

Sorry. Sorry babe. I'm sorry Raid. I don't deserve you. I hope one day you found someone who deserves you. Please. Please stop reading my diary after this entry. I know that you've been reading this. Stop. I don't want you read this and be hurt all over again. So, please stop. I'm sorry. And, thank you. Thank you for loving me and being my diary and bestfriend at the same time. Let your love for me fade away.

-YAM

A/N:

-Enjoy reading! :) Vote and Comments were really appreciated.