Rumor Mill

Chapter 11 - Never Be What You Want

[Jenna's POV]

I haven't left my house in days. I mean, I leave for school, but that's it. I've been avoiding everyone and it's really been a pain since I have classes with Tay and some of our friends. I've just been skipping English and Math because I can't even look at her. The only people that I've really been talking to are my boys back home and Lynn.

"So... are you guys done? Or... ?" Lynn asked. She came over once after school and we made smoothies.

"I don't really know. I don't want to be, but I have no idea how to come back from what happened."

"Well... have you talked to her about it? Did you explicitly say that you were done with her?"

I groaned. "Lynn, I told you. I freaked out and said I didn't want to see her again and I haven't since then. I should probably stop cutting our classes, but I really just don't know if I could handle being in the same room as her right now."

"Jen, I understand. It's cool." she took a sip of her smoothie. "But you can't run forever. You're going to have to face her and either move past this or end it for good. People are starting to talk."

I shot her a confused look. "Oh yeah?"

"Um, yeah. Word travels fast. Plus you guys rivaled Alexa and me as the hottest lesbian couple in school, so it's not like people don't know who you are."

"What are they saying? do they know what happened?"

"Not that I know of. People seem to enjoy the idea of someone in this triangle being a home-wrecking slut though." I scoffed. "Not that any of you are! I just mean- "

"Lynn, it's all right. I know." I finished off my smoothie and sat my glass in the sink. "Is it weird that I'm not even angry with Jess?" She shrugged. "Should I be? It's not really her fault that she popped into Tay's head while we were shagging. But I'm not even that cross with Tay either. I'm just hurt."

"That makes sense though."

"Yeah, I guess. It doesn't mean I'd like to be around Jess either though."

"Also understandable." Her phone buzzed. "I'm sorry, but I've gotta go. I told Alexa I'd go to the mall with her today."

"No worries. Thanks for hanging out with me." I gave her hug and walked her to the door. She got into her car and drove away, but as she turned away from my street, a car passed her. A black car, to be specific. The car approached my house and stopped in front of it. I recognized this car, and I was not about to deal with the person driving it.

"Jenna." It was Jess.

"Hell no, please leave. I don't know what you've heard, but I am not here to have a show with you about any of it." I started to close the door, but Jess began to run toward me.

"Jenna, wait!"

"No, now please leave."

"You don't even know why I'm here!"

I glared at her. "To gloat? To rub the fact that you're probably with Tay now in my face? Why else would you possibly be on my doorstep right now, Jess?"

"Look," she ran a hand through her hair. It seemed to be a thing she did when she was stressed out. "Do you remember when you came to my house and tried to ask me to be friends with you? Do you remember how much of a asshat I was even though you were trying to be nice? Remember how that felt?" I didn't say anything. "It sucked, right? So can I please get my point across before you try to kick my ass?"

I crossed my arms. "I will give you five minutes, Bowen, and I am counting."

She seemed taken aback, but she kept talking. "Well, shit. Okay. I'm here because I wanted to tell you that whatever happened with Tay, she didn't mean it. It was an accident."

"Oh, please. She came on accident while she thought about you."

"Jenna, just fucking listen to me! It - was - an - accident. It probably doesn't mean much coming from me, but Tay feels horrible. She's been a fucking train wreck all week."

"So why isn't she the one standing here trying to explain herself to me?"

"She's scared, okay? She really thinks she fucked everything up with you."

"Well, she's got a right funny way of showing it. She hasn't tried to say or do anything about what happened."

"I told you, it's because she's scared. Tay has anxiety attacks over just thinking about class presentations. How well do you think she'd do standing in front of you while she tries to get you back? Not too well, Jen. Just trust me, okay? That girl is my best friend. I hate seeing her like this. Trust me when I say that she couldn't be more sorry and she'd do anything to fix all of this."

I gave her a cold look. "I'll believe that when I hear it from Tay herself." With that, I closed the door in Jess's face. 

I spent an hour or two just laying around my room, listening to music and trying not to cry too much. I texted Whakaio about what happened. The guys insisted on video chatting, but I didn't want them to see me like this. The great Jenna Mcdougall, all banged up over a fucking girl. This hasn't really happened to me before. Girls were a dime a dozen to me, but Tay... there was something really special about her. God, I hate this. I wish that we never moved. 

Whak: Jen... what if that Jess girl is right? What if Tay really is sorry and this was all a misunderstanding?

Me: It doesn't matter. I'm not going to bother with it until Tay bucks up and tells me herself.

Whak: Well... okay. That makes sense. What if she is really just too scared to?

Me: I guess it's her loss then. I'm not moving a finger because I don't think I've done anything wrong.

Whak: I don't know, Jen... I know that it isn't your fault, but remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work. 

Me: Okay.

I knew he was right and I shouldn't be such an ass, but this is still Tay's mistake to fix. I will be right here waiting for her to say something to me. I just hope she realizes that I won't keep on waiting forever.

I had a terrible dream that night. I dreamt that Jess came back, but it was to say Tay chose her instead of me. It felt awful. Since they were all friends before I moved here, everyone stopped talking to me after it happened. I was alone. Despite that being terrifying to me, the scariest part about all of it was the fact that I fell so hard for Tay only to be ultimately rejected.

Let's keep hoping that it remains a nightmare and nothing more.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, lovely people. I'm back! Again, I'm really sorry about how long this has all taken. I can't express how thankful I am for all of the love and support that I've received throughout the writing of this fanfic. There are only three chapters left! Please stay tuned to see how everything ends and thanks again for the support!