Insecurities ~ Multifandom

•Klance• Voltron

April 27, 2075

I miss talking. I miss it so much. I suppose for a while after we landed back on earth it didn't really set in that I wouldn't ever speak again. But I think it's set in now.

I think Keith understands too. He's sad more often now, always listening to that short video I made years ago for the Voltron clip for Pidge's dad to prove that Voltron was real to Earth. I don't think he knows I know. But he's always crying, letting it play on repeat.

I wish I could speak. I hate that I can't. Maybe.. it's for the best if I just distance myself from now on, so Keith doesn't have to deal with the pain of all this.

-

June 30, 2075

It's been quite a while since I've thought of opening this. Nothings getting better, distancing myself only seemed to make Keith even sadder. I feel like this is all falling apart.

And it's all because I can't speak...

-

July 1, 2075

I ran into some douchebags at the supermarket today. I don't even know if I feel like writing this down, but here we go.

There were 3 guys. They were harassing a woman behind the back of the store. Naturally, in pure instinct, I stepped in and pulled the lady aside so she could leave the alleyway. And then I just stood there and listened to their insults. They were bigger than me, stronger than me. I didn't have any experience in up close combat, and I certainly didn't have my bayard. They got tired of me being quiet. Pushed me around, demanding I speak up. Then they started beating me up because I was being disrespectful.

But I couldn't answer. I physically couldn't answer.

Eventually Keith found me. He said he had gotten worried that I wasn't home after 30 minutes when the supermarket was less than 2 minutes from our house. He held me like I would break, whispered into my ear in hopes of soothing me.

Because, apparently I can't do anything right anymore. My muteness was just the start of that.

I'm just a freak, something Keith won't admit.

-

July 15, 2075

I haven't seen my therapist in a while. I got an appointment in with her today. She said I was getting worse and I had to fight to urge to blurt out 'no shit Sherlock'.

Only to remember that I couldn't.

Because I can't speak.

Because I am a freak who can't speak no matter what I do.

-

August 20, 2075

I don't feel like writing anymore. I just want to fall into my own little hole and wallow away, leave Keith so he's happy again.

This will probably be my last entry. I'm too tired to write anymore. Too tired.

~Lance McLain

-

December 17, 2080

-This is Keith Kogane

I suppose these entries were shared nearly 5 years ago now, when it was the worst for Lance. I found this book in the basement only now, and thought it cruel to leave future readers on such a cliffhanger.

Lance and I worked through it together, like we always do. We went to a real doctor. Lance was diagnosed with clinical depression, the doctors think it had something to do with his newfound muteness. With the proper help, Lance was back up and on his feet within 6 months.