More Than You, More Than Me

A Big Sad

2024

Dianne rocked back and forth on the moderately high heels she had been wearing since 8am on the playground the January grey pressing down on her. Her feet were hurting and her hips were going the same way. She was clutching a bright coat and waiting as all of the younger students poured onto the stony path.

"Hi Mum."

"Hi my Doddle bug!" Dianne wrapped an arm around Connie who was up to her shoulder now and kissed the top of her head.

"Is Daddy at home?"

"Yes Darl," Dianne said, passing her the warmer coat so they could embark on the walk home, "Els was asleep so he dropped me off. How was your day missy?"

"Good, can I go to Alicia's party?"

"When is it again?"

"Half four on Saturday."

"Should be able to," Dianne agreed, as they crossed with the lollipop lady to the quieter stretch of pavement that would take them the way home.

"Did you bury Grandad Chippy?"

"Sort of. He got cremated, do you know what that is?"

"No."

"So some people when they die, before they die actually, they leave a note in their will or they just tell their loved one that they would like to be cremated rather than buried and that means they would like to be turned into ash."

"Like ash from the fire at home?"

"Yep."

Connie looked up at her mum, "how do they do that?"

"Did you want to have a guess?"

"Fire?"

"Yep. They burn the body until it is ashes."

Dianne saw Connie wrinkle her nose, "why would you do that?"

"Well with ashes they can be shared out sort of. So my Pop was cremated and Nana has some of his ashes in a special glass ball. And some of his ashes are thrown in his favourite places so he can become part of them. So I think Pop is in the sea at Dallyup beach, at the church and on a hill he and Nanny Alice used to walk up a lot. And he's in a special jar at Nanny Alice's and in the garden at a lot of my family members so that when the flowers grow, he becomes part of the garden."

"So instead of just going to a grave?" Connie offered.

"You can be with them anywhere," Dianne nodded, "it's nice."

"So Grandad Chippy won't have a grave like Louise?"

"No, speaking of, aren't you supposed to be having lunch with Nanny and Grandma on Saturday?"

"Yeah, that's lunch."

"But you and Cal have choreo later because of it."

"Oh then I guess I'll have to go to Alicia's later."

"You're a busy lady Connie Sugg," Dianne laughed, stopping to rub the back of her heel which was hurting in a way that suggested she would be needing blister plasters for the next few days.

"What's wrong Mummy?"

"My feet are just a bit sore, babe."

"Swap!" Connie offered, kicking her shoe off so it accidentally flew ten paces in front of them.

Dianne chuckled and retrieved the shoe, placing it down under her daughter's tight covered foot, "and what are you supposed to wear my love?"

Connie rooted in her bag, "trainers!"