ILLICIT | PJM

Forty-Three

"I got some vanilla donuts earlier, wanna have them?" Taehyung got up from his seat and handed me a bag of donuts.

"I had enough vanilla yesterday night." I spoke emotionlessly but still had them.

"Did I vomit or anything?" I asked Taehyung and he nodded his head yes.

"Thrice." I choked on my food and he immediately gave me a glass of water, to make things more perplexed he smirked.

"Man Jin is never sending me to this house again.'' I said as I took a sip of water.

"Why don't I remember then?" I asked him when I was back to normal.

"Because I gave you some painkillers and sleeping pills, or else you would constantly grumble in pain and that lover boy was questioning my abilities in the medic stream." Taehyung is one of the most egoistic personalities I've ever come across in my life, he was sweet too.

"Hey winter bear, why do you take things to your heart? He was just worried." a genuine smile spread across my lips, he was actually a very cute but hot as fuck type of bear. "I wonder why he hides things about himself." my voice was barely audible yet they entered Taehyung's ears.

"What are you talking about?" Taehyung tried to act clueless when he actually wasn't and that literally irritated the shit out of me.

"Does he not trust me? Like does he even love me? Or is everything for a show?" I asked Taehyung, if I can share my darkest secrets with Jimin then why can't he?

"All I know is that he is nuts over you, he trusts you more than he trusts himself. But you know bipolar depression is not something I will explain to you about, he will do that himself." and with that came a click of something which meant that someone was eavesdropping the entire time. Jimin was standing behind us in a sky blue button up and black cafe trousers.

I turned my head back to Taehyung who now was leaving the living area, leaving both of us alone. After a few minutes Jimin sat in front of me and took my hands in his and looked me straight in my eyes.

"I'm sorry." he heavily sighed and the apologetic look was evident in his eyes.

"For the fever or for hiding that you're bipolar and depressed." I was trying my best to avoid his cold near to death stare.

"I was. I was bipolar, not anymore." my eyebrows pinched at his statement. "You know Jin hyung always forced me to take these routine checkups. The last time I went for one was when we returned to Miami. My therapist said that I'm no longer bipolar or depressed, just a little bit of anxiety here & there. This is the reason why I didn't tell you."

"I refuse to believe that this is the only reason." I looked at our hands.

"Seriously, you'll leave me if I ever start counting about my flaws. My mouth will only hurt." Jimin sarcastically laughed.

"Jimin we are not perfectionists, we are humans and everyone has their flaws okay? I'm here to embrace your flaws. I'm not leaving, not now, not ever." I said simply. The cost of making Jimin get a hang of things was just too much. He pulled my chair closer to him and just looked at me.

"I would've kissed you if we were not ill." he caressed my cheek and a smile crept my face. We remained like this for a while until our time together was interrupted by Jimin's soulmate.

"Guys something is wrong." Taehyung had a gun in his hand as he got more conscious of his surroundings.

"Why?" Jimin asked him as he backed away a little from me. "You have a roll of ammunition right?" Taehyung asked as he saw the small screen in front of the main gate. Jimin simply nodded his head yes.

"Kai is just outside your house." 

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|<|Author|>|

My precious bros and hoes. I've decided that I'm gonna edit the first set of chapters, or the ones which are not readable in my free time. And btw if you're a daily reader then just check my latest announcement and please give me your opinions. 

Vote for clear skin. Follow and share if you can. Xoxo.

Edit (May, 2024) Hello, I the author of this (cringe) book would like to apologize about how I highlighted mental illnesses like bipolar disorder with such extreme carelessness. I would've edited this thing in this chapter itself but if my memory serves me right then I have mentioned about bipolar disorder multiple times through the book, my intention was not to mis-diagnose but a fifteen year old with no such understanding of bipolar and many more things put in this book for glorification and drama didn't simply know shit- 

Mental illnesses are not something to be implied without any thorough clarification, and actions- bipolar disorder, depression, OCD etc, these things which are very serious and which can even interfere even in daily functioning of one's life are somethings which shouldn't be thrown around casually. In today's age we have normalized saying that we have (for example) OCD if we like cleanliness. Like NO jessica OCD is fucking serious business interfering business. same goes for the other illnesses- you guys get it. I thought (the 15 year old me) that it would be fine to throw some words here and there about such serious matter casually. I would've really apologized sooner, back when some people in the comments were telling me that I have made a mistake. 

to be honest the plot of this book is great, but it could've been conveyed in a much better way. My heart really wants to edit this whole book; but that would simply just mean that I would delete my initial and debut creation which happens to make me cringe every two minutes but still it gives me some kind of happiness when I re-read it, to realize that I've grown so much as once an amateur ff writer but now as someone who really enjoys writing in general. 

so yea, while I can't promise that I would edit all the parts, I would edit some alarming ones when I have the time for this (procrastination is a bitch but I'll try my best). thanks and have a nice day.