Dead to me // Colby Brock

052 • 𝗔𝘄𝗼𝗸𝗲 •

A strong ray of sunshine hit my forehead as I awoke from a nap that felt like years. My head bounded as if my brain was having a concert but my body felt like it was stiff as a lump of wood. My muscles ached and my skin felt weirdly too tight for my own bones.

All of the pain going through my body made me realize that I was in fact, not dead.

My body seemed to be covered in soft blankets but they didn't seem to belong to my bed. Slowly I open my eyes to be met with a messy desk that had a clock placed directly in the middle of it. On the clock it read, 6:40am in bright red.

Underneath the desk was Jeff who seemed to be away in a deep sleep. He was curled up in a tight ball, a position he would sleep in when he was most anxious. Even when he was asleep you could still read his facial expressions as if he was still awake. Sadly he did not look happy at all. He looked worried and anxious and somehow I could tell he felt guilt in some way.

I slowly pull my gaze away from him and looked around the bedroom. The room looked extremely familiar to me but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Next, my eyes met with Colby who was laying against my bed and seemed to also asleep. I could never read Colby's facial expressions but this morning he looked beyond tired. He had deep, dark eyebags underneath his eyes and he had strong drawn frown lines on his forehead. Even when he was asleep he still looked extremely anxious as if he was still trapped in another nightmare.

Guilt grew over me as the night at the club washed over me. Who knows what Colby and jeff were thinking.

I softly sign to myself continuing to look around the room realizing how big it actually was. There was still a massive feeling in my gut like I've been here before but I still didn't know how and when.

I continue to look around the room taking in every object and studying it, but as my eyes had met with the door and I felt my whole jaw open.

Shock grew over my body as I starred at my own brother who was also

asleep against the wooden door.

David had his knees tightly pulled towards his chest and his head was buried in the middle of them. I knew what that position had meant. It was his crying position.

I couldn't see his face but I still felt a strong wave of guilt throughout my body just by the thought of why he got into the position in the first place.

My heart was aching so much just at the sight of him. David shouldn't know what happened, he shouldn't be involved in any of this.

I wanted to get out of the bed and run over to him. I wanted to pull him into the tightest hug I've ever given him, but my body felt so heavy.

"David," I softly mumble, my voice coming out like a whisper but somehow my voice managed to make everyone in the room jump. David gets off of the floor in a heartbeat and rushes over to me. Colby quickly sits up straight and turns his whole body around to face me.

"Ava I'm right here," David says, his voice soft and comforting. Jeff's head pops up between both of Colby's and David's head.

I look over at Colby and noticed how red his eyes really were. "I'm ok," I say to him softly. A small smile grew onto his face but I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Ava you are currently in Colby's bedroom," David tells me, and that's when everything made sense. That's how I know where this place was from and why it looked so familiar. It was from the night I spent here just after the breakup with Jeff.

I couldn't find any energy in my body to reply to him so I just slowly nod my head. "How long have I been asleep for?" I question him which somehow made me weirdly tired.

"Four days" Jeff replies and I grew shocked. "Wow" I mumble under my breath.

"I'm going to alert everyone that Ava is awake," Jeff says walking away from the boys and towards the door. "Ok" Colby softly replies to him but he doesn't take his eyes away from mine. His voice was worn out as if he has been screaming into thin air.

I move myself to be in a comfortable position on the bed and rest my eyes. Not to go to sleep but to take some time to myself and congratulate myself on making it this far.

***

It was now 5:30pm and slowly I had regained all of my energy back from this morning. Now I felt the energy to socialize and even digest some meals.

After Jeff had alerted everyone that I was awake, multiple people had come into the room to visit me and to check for themselves that the information was in fact true.

When Andrea and Brennen had seen me it was like parents seeing their child after 20 years. They both ran other to me and wrapped me into one of the tightest hug I've felt in a while. Just the presence of them being around me gained energy.

They both had stayed for around two hours just talking to me about the most random things before they had to go home and get everything ready for me to come back.

Jeff didn't leave until around half an hour ago. I insisted for him to go home, have a shower then get a bit of sleep in, and after multiple tries, I managed to convince him.

On the other hand, David had refused to leave the room altogether, this made Natalie have to come and pick him up. He had mentioned multiple times that he was going to be coming back later and I knew he wasn't lying about that.

Colby on the other hand never let me leave his sight once. I could tell he was extremely happy to see me awake and talking to people. He sat with me and talked every second he got and honestly I loved listening to his voice, it relaxed me so much.

He sat at this desk for most of the day listening to every bit of everyone's conversation they had with me. When he wasn't at his desk watching over me he would be asleep for a bit, nothing really over an hour. But when he did rest I noticed that he looked like he was finally in peace.