The Worlds Obsession

The Waiting Man

I lay here thinking why, why had I taken that job? It was only to move a few bodies out of the infected houses. I knew there was a risk but I was assured by the men that it was safe. I had my coin on my tongue and a bag of lavender at my side. Nothing would happen to me. I was a God-fearing man and had never been in trouble with the lawman. I would be safe from the sickness.
All it has caused me and my family is pain and suffering. Molly got sick first. Or at least showed the signs before I did. I came home and found her scratching, wobbly on her feet. I put her to bed, made her rest, hoped I was wrong. She never took her hand from her belly, even at the end. Maybe I have sinned in a way I haven't realized. Maybe Mols had a secret I never knew; but what sin did the little one have weighing on her soul? Were they punished because of me?
I know death is waiting for me; it is inevitable now. Surely God can hear my cries and pleas of mercy. I cannot stop reliving my actions, praying for them to be undone.
I have sore, oozing boils on my neck. I'm always feeling dizzy but worst of all my neighbors have come to fear me, just as I had feared the sick. What a cruel twist of irony.
I had to paint the Xs on each house we cleared. A warning to all, not to go near. I never thought I'd be painting one on my own. Sure enough, no one has knocked since I did. I boarded up the windows and doors just to make certain they got the message. I refuse to go outside and possibly infect anyone. No one else will die because of me!
The boards have blocked out all but tiny shafts of light. I stopped peeking through them when I saw the third house across the street marked with that dreaded X. I do still sometimes hear people hurriedly walking by. Muttering things like, "What a shame, a young man and his wife were taken here."
They do not know I am still inside. Still alive... for now anyway.
Death will feel like a welcomed friend when he finally arrives. I wish for him more and more now, watching the time and days tick slowly away. If not for it being a mortal sin I would take a blade to my body and be done with this world. I look forward to seeing my wife's beautiful face again. I cannot bear to look at her now. It does not even look like her anymore, all the colour is gone, her eyes no longer shine with love but are dull and grey turned away from me and the horror of this world. I should have told someone. I should have let them take the body, but I could not bear for another to take the risk. Or perhaps I just didn't want to be alone. I placed her on our marital bed when she passed, it seemed only right that her and our unborn child have comfort and rest. I do not deserve the right after infecting her as I did. They are in God's hands now.
If I hasten this death I would be cast down for eternity. I can think of no worse fate than that. So, I sit in this house of misery and wait for the end to come and take me. I just hope that the next man to finally move mine and my wife's body does not come to the same fate.