Note : This is not a genre of law fiction.
Hollowness... that's what I feel inside my head, and inside my chest. Maybe, because he took something from me, something so precious... innocence, purity, and dignity.
"Kumain ka na..." aniya. Pagkatapos ay makahulugang ngumisi.
Nasa hapag-kainan kami at matapos niyang lagyan ng pagkain ang aking pinggan ay nag simula na siya'ng kumain. Ako naman, nanatili lang na naka-upo, hindi manlang ginalaw ang pagkain na inihanda niya para sa akin.
He was eating while watching me closely. Hindi ako sumagot at nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin, katulad ng palagi kong ginagawa sa tuwing sinusubukan niyang tumitig sa akin.
"Gusto mo ba, subuan kita?" tanong niya. Hindi ko mawari ang kaniyang ekspresyon nang tanungin niya ako no'n dahil nasa aking nag-lalarong mga daliri lamang ang aking paningin.
Pilit kong pinipigilan ang aking mga luha na nag-babadya na namang kumawala.
Hindi na ako iiyak sa harap niya. Hindi na ako papayag na masaksihan na naman niya ang kahinaan ko. Hindi na ako papayag na may makita na naman siya'ng bagay na pwede niya'ng ipang-laban sa akin.
"Ano, Nina?!" sigaw niyang dumagundong sa buong bahay.
Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ang magkabila kong pisngi, tila iniipit ang aking mukha. Ang mga kamay ko ay awtomatikong nanginig nang maramdaman ko ang palad niya na nakahawak sa akin.
His touch... is one of the things that I despise the most in this cruel world.
"Hindi ka ba talaga kakain?! Ha?!" gigil niyang tanong sa akin. Ang mga mata ay parehong namumula at ang mukha ay ganoon na lamang ang ipinapakitang galit para sa akin.
Nag-lalabasan ang mga ugat niya sa mukha dahil sa sobrang pang-gigigil sa akin. Nag ngingitngit siya sa galit.
Bakit hindi na lang magsi-putukan ang mga ugat na 'yan? Nang sa gayon ay mawala na siya. Para matapos na ang pag-hihirap ko. Para makawala na ako sa impyerno na kung saan ako nakagapos.
Ayaw ko nang kumain. Gusto ko na lang mahiga sa kama ko at titigan ang kisame ng kwarto ko. Hindi man iyon nakakatulong sa akin sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, at least, wala ako sa harap ng demonyong ito.
"Hindi ka kakain?!" ulit niyang tanong sa akin nang hindi ko na naman siya sagutin.
Nanatili lang akong walang imik. Wala akong balak sagutin siya. Wala akong balak na kausapin siya.
"Ayaw mo?!" sigaw niya sa aking mukha. Halos mabingi ako dahil sa lakas ng pag-sigaw niya.
Ang mukha ko ay patuloy niyang iniipit gamit ang kaniyang dalawang palad. Ayaw ko man siya'ng tingnan, mukhang wala na naman akong magagawa. Ayaw ko naman na masaktan ulit dahil lang sa hindi ako sumusunod sa kaniya. At mas lalong ayaw kong ibang parusa ang ipataw sa akin.
Ayaw ko man, kailangan ko siyang sagutin at kausapin. Baka kung hindi ko siya kakausapin ay mas lalo lang siyang magalit sa akin. Baka kung ano na naman ang gawin niya sa akin.
Unti-unti akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya, at mukha agad ng demonyo ang nakita ko.
It's funny that his face was one of those faces that I truly adored in the past. But now... I don't even want to keep my eyes darted on his face for a fleeting second.
That's how much I hate it.
"Ayaw mo, Nina? Hmm?" he asked. He put some of the strands of my hair behind my ear. He looked at me intently.
He raised his brow, waiting for me to say a word.
I gulped before I tried to speak.
"A-Ayaw... ko p-po." I said and looked down immediately because I can't bear the sight of him.
But he only tried to make me look at him again once... and he was already fucking successful.
He grinned.
That... grin.
I don't like where this is going.
"Oh, siya. Ikaw na lang ang kakainin ko." the devil said and before I knew it, he was already on top of me.
I don't feel anything. I can't feel anything. Heck, I don't want to feel anything.
That would be fucking disgusting. Iyon ay kung may mas nakakadiri pa rito.
He was pushing himself inside of me while owning the rest of my body.
He was kissing every part of it like my body is his favorite dessert. He is doing it indulgently.
As for me... my cries were silent. I can't cry aloud because my lips were sealed.
Mabuti na rin iyon. Kung walang takip ang bibig ko ay malamang hinahalikan niya ako ngayon. And it sickens the hell out of me.
The last time he tried to kiss me, my stomach turned because of the extreme loathing that I felt. He never tried to kiss me again after I vomited straight in his fucking face.
The night was dark, cruel, and loathsome.
I envy those girls who are now sleeping peacefully. I envy those girls who can be in complete tranquil in dark nights like this.
Before, I have that. I have that peace within me. I can sleep without crying. I can eat my food without gruesome memories flashing inside my head. I can take a bath without worrying of anyone that might want to barge inside the shower.
But now... things were different. It's not the same anymore. It can never be the same anymore.
My mind was filled with thoughts some girls my age won't think of.
Girls my age are living their lives happily. They are living their lives freely. Because that's the way it should be. Unlike me... that's been kept and tied up by the rope.
A rope that stole away my beautiful dreams, my innocent life, and the old me.
A rope that kept me tied up in this tormenting hell.
A rope that kept me tied up in the arms of someone whom I loved so dearly.
He was my first love. He was my superhero. He was my best friend.
And now... he is my rapist.
My rapist, my abuser, my living devil.
He is my father.
YOU ARE READING
Untying the Rope (Mujer Fuerte Series #1)
General FictionCOMPLETED CONTENT WARNING : This story may contain explicit language, violence, self-harm, murder, and themes that can be harmful, traumatizing, and triggering to some readers. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Sabi nila, kapag ipinanganak kang mayaman, lahat...
