Fiction Short Stories

The Apartment Two Blocks Down

Do I regret you? Maybe, I don't know, it's hard to tell sometimes. I can't seem to make up my mind most days and others, I can't stop thinking about you.  You asked me this once before, I think it was in August when I wore that sundress you really liked. We walked along the shore right on time for sunset, our steps being washed away by the waves, like we never existed. The sky was alive with colors that slipped into the water so you couldn't tell where the sky started, and water ended. I felt fuzzy from the few glasses of red wine we'd had in your apartment two blocks down, but when I looked at you, you had a serious face and that question. No, it was more intent like you desperately wanted to know my answer even if you had to pry it out of me piece by piece.  Secretly, I wanted you to do exactly that.

"Don't be silly," I said, avoiding the question. Instead, I bounded up the beach, my feet splashing the water, you followed not too far behind. You trapped me in your arms lifting me up in the air the way you did all the other girls on the dance floor. I felt a flush of warmth, the fading glow of the sun turning the sky a strange hue of pinkish orange. As my feet touched the sand you never let me go and I felt your arms around my waist holding me to you. I needed this, I wanted this.

"Tell me," You demanded in a soft voice like a caress. Every time you spoke it was music to my ears, each word like a note in my sheet music. Once, I'd tried to replicate it on the keyboard you kept in your apartment for me to practice on. None of it seemed to fit and after an hour I'd given up. I felt like that right now, none of the words I wanted to say seemed to fit but the thought of leaving you threatened to destroy me.  I felt the whole summer bubbling up to the surface, a flash in the long years ahead of me.

I tucked my head against your shoulder to hide from your prying eyes and your arms tightened around me, reassuring me. The waves crashed into each other behind us fading into small ripples as they finally reached us on the shore, small and insignificant compared to the vastness of the ocean, but their echoing sounds seemed to last forever.  I thought of that day in your ballet class when you knocked into my piano, I was furious but all you did was smirk at me.

I felt your fingers on my back drawing small circles over and over again like a dance variation with too many pirouettes in it. I think you understood everything I wanted to say but couldn't. Later, I would have the music to play to explain everything to you but by then you were gone and that apartment two blocks from the beach would be a faded image imprinted in my mind.

The sun was almost gone now, a half circle resting on the ocean. We walked hand in hand a bit longer and watched the darkness come and when it did, we took off our clothes to swim in the water. The water was cold, but I was too giddy to notice much, your question forgotten in the waves. Under cover of darkness, I let my hands wander over your skin, through your dark curls, holding your face close to mine, not letting my eyes leave yours as you kissed me.

We made a small fire on the beach that night and sat on the sand entangled in each other's arms. The glow of the fire brought back a remnant of the summer heat. We danced one last time by the dying embers of the fire, you tried your best to lead my stumbling feet, I tried to sing a waltz I learned from one of my concerts last month. It was clumsy, messy, a bit scandalous but it was all our own. When you touched me, looked at me with that smile, I felt my skin burn and my soul whisper something. Something I couldn't hear no matter how hard I listened and maybe that's why I couldn't answer you on the beach. 

Now, I feel you in the keys of my piano, and the music that I play screams your name and falls on deaf ears. I see you in the street dancers and the ballerinas in the dance classes I still play for, but most of all I am with you at night. I find myself walking the city at night mesmerized by the lights that make the city look so much more alive than the daylight could ever. I walk alone under cover of darkness like we did that night and I try to come up with an answer to your question. Do I regret you? Do you regret me? Do we regret each other? You knew the answer to that question before I did, and you took my answer with you.
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