Eye of the Beholder (Loki Love Story)

Chapter 52 I Will Find You

Loki's POV

I have experienced a wide range of pain. I've experienced every form of torture known to man thanks to Thanos and yet that was nothing compared to what I am drowning in now. The pain of losing the person I love the most and knowing I was powerless to save her. To protect her and I don't even know who did this. Who... who took her from me? Who murdered my girl? My wife, my soulmate...

We were going to meet in the garden to escape the busy coronation planning. Both of us were tired and wanted a break so we were going to meet. Have a private picnic, just us so we could have some alone time. But when I arrived, I was met with a sight which has been scared into my skull so deeply that it never leaves my mind. It replays on repeat in my dreams and haunts my every waking hour and it hurts. It hurts so much that I wake up in unbearable agony, screaming and wishing it were just a nightmare and nothing else. That it wasn't real but it is and it's always the same.

I'm calling her name, rushing to the flames that had engulfed the gardens as I look around for her desperately. Praying she is ok and then I freeze in fear, my worst fears realised. Her wings, cut from her back, have been torn apart and in pieces everywhere. They had lost their angelic glow and there was so much blood. So much blood and a body, burning not far from them.

I remember denying it. I remember falling to my knees and screaming her name, clawing at what was left of her wings. Apart of me didn't want to believe she was dead. She just couldn't be. And since her body was so severely burned... maybe it wasn't her. Maybe someone faked her death and took her and it was all an elaborate scheme to make me believe she was dead. But then I remembered what she told me when she first got her wings and it brought me back to a horrible reality. Her words ringing in my mind

Loki if he did cut my wings off, the process of him cutting them off would... it would kill me. I would die.

The tears poured out of me and I broke down, the fires all around me but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. Katrina, the love of my life, my girl, my wife, my everything is dead and there was nothing that I could do. I had failed her. She was dead, murdered and I had lost her forever. I have lost her forever. I love her so much and she is gone, ripped from me all because of her wings which they didn't even take. Someone... I don't even know who killed her. And yet that is the only small comfort that I have... they didn't get what they were after. But it wouldn't bring her back.... I lost her. I lost her. I lost the woman I love.

Since that day I have been suffering in unspeakable agony, barely able to function and haunted with that lone memory. That lone memory dropping me into despair and I felt like the light was gone. The sun has set and it feels like it will never rise. For she was gone and yet time moved on, the days flew by and everyone expects me to just take the throne and become King. To rule and be the King I know I can be but I can't do it. I can't take the throne. I don't want the throne not if she can't rule beside me, not if don't have my Queen. And there was something else I had to do.

So after the funeral, I've come to Earth and I'm now standing outside Tony's home in the forest. This lovely cottage of wood that makes me think back to happier times... like mine and Katrina's honeymoon in the beach house. It makes me smile for a brief second until I remember she isn't here with me and it drops as quickly as it appears. Oh Katrina, my love, I am so sorry. And right now I am breaking your promise about seeing Tony but... but he needs to know. He needs to know I failed you and maybe. Maybe he will kill me and put me out of my misery.

I bring myself to knock on the door and it opens to reveal Pepper, dressed in a red dress with her hair tied up. She looks at me, surprised to see me and I force a fake smile. But it's forced and she can tell something is wrong. I must look a state with my clothes barely on me, my face hung, and my eyes so tired and full of pain. She's gone and the pain and the guilt is killing me slowly.