Liquid Luck [Sirius Black]/editing

Chapter 112

Trigger warning: Mention of self-harm. If this is a touchy subject for you, just skip up until the asterisk.

I feel safe here curled up in Sirius' warm embrace. All tension from the day just melts away the moment he wraps his arms around me. The dorm room is silent, as the whole castle is gathered for dinner in the Great Hall.

I cherish the times he and I are alone. But these fleeting moments of serenity don't happen often, hence why we're here instead of at dinner with the rest.

We've been laying like this for a while now, just with him holding me, and his slender fingers gently trailing over the part of my stomach that my shirt isn't covering. It's been a while since either one of has spoken a word and I can't help but wonder what's been going through his mind as we lay here. "What are you thinking about?"

I tilt my head to look up at him and he smiles down at my stomach, still stroking it gently with his thumb. "Our babies are going to grow here." His eyelashes look long and dark against his pale skin, making him look pure and innocent as he says the words.

My head clouds with love for the boy in my arms. I can't help myself as I push his shoulder so he's laying directly on his back and climb over to straddle him. "You're so beautiful, Sirius."

He purses his lips and waits for me to move down to kiss them. The kiss starts out softly but quickly picks up in heat and urgency with every second that passes. I pull away to tug on the hem of his shirt, as if questioning if I could take it off. He nods vigorously and swiftly helps me pull it over his head.

My eyes hungrily rake over his exposed abs. Thank you, Quidditch.

I notice some scars scattering his torso and I frown a little as I graze my fingertips over a particularly large one. "How did you get this one, love? You don't have to tell me, but you can if you like."

I feel him tense under my fingers but he relaxes as his stormy grey eyes meet my caring gold ones. "I actually did that to myself." His voice is so small and afraid, so unlike his usual tone. I shift my position so I'm now sitting cross-legged between his legs. "But it was ages ago..."

"If you don't mind me asking...when?"

He swallows nervously. "It was at the end of first year. You know going home was always rough on me. When someone is constantly going on about how little you deserve, it's difficult to not start believing it. I thought...I thought I deserved this."

"Sirius," I sigh, staring down at the reminder of his pain with an aching heart. "If you ever feel the need to do this again, please come talk to me. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I won't want to do it again –"

"But if you do. You'll come to me, won't you?"

"I will. I promise." He tries to cover himself with his arms. "They're ugly, I know. But it's too late for me to heal them with magic, they've already scarred over."

I carefully push his hands away and lean my head close to his chest to start softly pressing kisses to each scar. He props himself up on his elbows and watches me kiss up and down his body. "You don't have anything to be ashamed of, my love."

"Come up here." He says with a happy smile.

I crawl back up to his face and he rubs his nose against mine affectionately. "I love every part of you." I whisper.