Twenty Four Seven || Adam Park

fifty

Days passed and I felt more lost than ever before. I resulted from changing out of the clothes I had been wearing from weeks into clothes that were old and dusty in one of the many boxes I was surrounded by in the basement. They barely fit but they were better than the old and musty clothes that I had been wearing when I first was locked down there. They belonged in the trash. I felt gross even thought I had access to a shower down there, but what good does that really do when I have no products to wash up with?

I was so beyond unhappy down there and lost that I really didn't have a care in the world about anything anymore. I truly didn't care what happened at this point and I felt weak. Mentally and physically, I was weak. I could hardly keep my eyes open and it had been too long since I had eaten last. I felt like I was skin and bones. All the thoughts stopped at some point too and I don't know if that was a blessing or a bad thing. I couldn't think about anything other than wanting it to all just end.

I crawled into the bathroom and ran the shower. The water started off hot, which meant the piping was good down there and at some point, this was used regularly. I didn't even bother undressing as I sat down on the shower floor, letting the water pour over the top of my head – soaking my hair and my clothes as I brought my knees up to my chest. I rested my chin on the tops of my knees as I stared at one of the broken tiles on the floor. I had cut the bottom of my foot on it several times, but I never bothered to cover it up. I knew it was there so if I stepped on it, then it was my own dumb fault.

I closed my eyes tightly as I let the warm water consume my bones. It remained cold down in that basement all the time and this seemed to be my only source of heat. I could run the hot water for at least a half hour before it started to get cold on me. I'd let it sit for about an hour or two before letting it run again. I know it had to run the water bill up and you'd think the company would see the random spike in the bill and question it, but I knew my grandmother probably prepared for something like this and had an answer for the company.

I sniffled as I sat underneath the water. I hadn't even realized that I was crying but I did that a lot lately. I cried without even knowing that I was crying. I didn't think I had a single emotion left in me anymore and at this point, I couldn't tell you what the tears were from. They were random yet all the time now.

I reached up and wiped my face with my wet hands as I attempted to take a deep breath. The water slowly started trickling slowly and that's when I normally should shut it off and put some dry clothes on and wait for the water to heat back up, but this time... I couldn't force myself to get out from underneath the water. I couldn't bring myself to move an inch so that's where I stayed. I stayed even when my body started shivering. I physically could not bring myself to move.

Not even when I heard what sounded like something heavy falling down and the loud thumps of what sounded like something falling down the stairs. I had been seeing and hearing things a lot lately, so I figured that's just what it must be. I only shut my eyes tighter as I tried to block the noises out. I could hear the sounds of faint ringing in my ears.

I jumped when the bathroom door suddenly flung open and I couldn't even process what was going on because everything seemed to be moving faster than I could comprehend it. All I know is that I saw someone in a police uniform reach over top of me and turn the shower water off before grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the shower and through the door. I couldn't even fight against them because they were moving to fast for me to even realize what was going on. I felt like I was seeing blurs of imagines flash past me and I could hardly hear a word that was being said to me.

All I knew was that I was being helped to my feet at the bottom of the stairs as someone else wrapped a blanket around me tightly and said something to me. I could see their lips moving but I couldn't hear a word that was being said. All I know is they helped me up the stairs and I was in disbelief when they walked me through the kitchen, and I could actually see the inside of my grandmother house – something I hadn't seen in who knows how long.