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"So what makes you feel like you have to physically hit someone?" Dr.Kay asked.
"I don't know...when I feel tried or when I'm aggravated with someone" I shrugged, I never thought about that before.
"Okay then...what if I say something rude to you, or something that offends you. Are you going to hit me?" She questioned me again causing my face to frown.
"Of course not, I'll let you know that it bothered me and I'll probably end up finding a new therapist" I joked causing her to chuckle.
"Exactly so why do you feel the need to physically hit Kori when he makes you upset?" She asked.
"Um.." I looked down and started to fidget with my fingers, I wasn't expecting that.
"Take your time hun." She nodded.
"To be honest Dr.Kay, I really don't know... I just do, then I feel bad later" I sighed.
"Can I tell you what I think?" She asked causing me to quickly nod.
"I feel as if your past trauma is starting to take a hold on you. Like you stated before, you used to be in a very abusive relationship.. verbally and physically. You're so used to being smacked, punched, or even having things thrown from when your ex used to get upset with you that it's normalized in your brain that it's okay."
"Even though Kori is a man, it still doesn't justify the abusive behavior." She finished.
"But how do I stop? I swear it's like a quick instinct" I shook my head.
"Try expressing your feelings more, when something bothers you confront it verbally. He's a man so he isn't going to take you putting your hands on him lightly, please consider this before things get worse." She advised causing me to nod.
I never realized how wrong I was until actually hearing it, it feels like I'm repeating a cycle.
—
"Hey big mama" I said as I walked into my god children's nursery.
Magic Hour X Jhene Aiko played lowly as Harlym sat in the middle of the floor packing the baby's hospital bags.
"Hey pretty, how'd you get in?" She asked.
"Kai and I got here at the same time, so he let me in" I said before sitting in the recliner.
"Oh okay, what's that?" She pointed to the bag next to me.
"I went shopping for my babies, ima keep it at my house though. I just wanted to show you because I found some really cute stuff" I squealed before pulling everything out.
"Between you and my mom I don't know who's going to spoil them the most." She laughed.
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