The Sun, Moon & Stars

9. Lingering Feeling

It was faster to apparate back home than it had been to get to King's Cross. With one less person, one less owl and no luggage; it was just a split second before Remus and Ginger were standing on the doorstep of their small cottage once more.

There was an odd feeling in the air. Not evil, nor happy. It was like a lingering feeling of uneasiness, mixed with a splash of gloom; a perfect concoction of something that could only be described as the feeling you get when you miss somebody.

It was a feeling Remus Lupin dealt with everyday. It lingered over him every hour, every minute of every day he lived. For James and Lily, for poor Peter, and most of all; Sirius himself; who, despite having betrayed Remus, he still loved. Usually it was easier to deal with, or easier to be distracted by when he had Ophelia with him.

But this time the lingering feeling was more prominent. And that was because on top of missing his best friends, and his twisted husband; he was also missing his daughter and best friend.

'You feel it too?' Remus whispered, as they stood in front of the front door in silence.

Ginger looked up, her large, glossy eyeballs staring up at Remus. 'Feel what, Master Remus?'

Remus sighed, before slowly looking down at Ginger. 'The feeling, of her not being here.'

Remus had failed to come to the realization over the past couple weeks just how difficult Ginger might be handeling this as well. He felt a little guilty; getting so caught up in his own feelings that he failed to be there to comfort Ginger, who was bound to be feeling similarly. Remus knew just how much Ophelia loved the both of them; but it was two different kinds of love. Remus was her Dad, and while they were always best friends first and Father-Daughter second; it was always different with Ginger. Ginger stayed up with her on the nights of the full moons when she couldn't sleep, knowing he was out there and could get hurt. Ginger distracted her during those nights; by playing board games, or reading to her, or just talking her down when she got anxious. Ginger was the best friend she could go to for things that Remus couldn't comfort her with; 'furry little problem' things to be exact.

Ginger was Ophelia's Lily.

So, while Ophelia loved the both of them equally: as they are both her family and her best friends, Remus knew better than to assume Ginger wouldn't be feeling like he did. He actually felt quite daft for not realizing it sooner.

Ginger's gaze was cast downwards again, and she paused, before saying very gently; 'Yes, Master Remus. I feel it too.'

And without another word, they stepped inside the cottage and Ginger went to make tea and sandwiches for lunch; however for the first time in a long time, for just two.

Remus stood in the sitting room, his hands shoved in the pockets of his brown muggle jeans, and oversized maroon jumper hugging his body. He took a deep breath, and looked around the room; the room that this very morning they had all been sitting in happily. It was the same room. Nothing had been moved, or replaced; yet it felt different now. Not as homey as it did before, and certainly not as uplifting.

He found it amusing actually, how much your life can change in an instant. Or in a matter of hours. And suddenly, he wasn't hungry.

'Ging, I'm not hungry. I'm going to go upstairs, okay?'

Ginger gave him a weary look, remembering what Ophelia had said. 'But Master Remus-'

'Ging, I'm fine, okay? I...I just had a big breakfast, that's all, and I'm tired, okay?'

Ginger reluctantly nodded and though she didn't believe him; she too was feeling a bit drained, and a bit tired, and she knew better than to distrub him on today of all days. 'Yes, sir.'

Remus gave her a weak smile, before climbing the stairs (which right now, felt like the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest), and he finally reached the door to his bedroom, using his wand to make it fly open for him, and he collapsed onto his bed.

He let his head fall back down onto his fluffy pillow, and he lazily wrapped himself in a large, burnt orange knitted blanket. And even though it was not even afternoon yet, and he had a much longer sleep than he usually did, he found that he was most exhausted already; both mentally and physically.

He stared at his bedside table, where a framed photo of himself, Sirius and Ophelia sat. They were happy, smiling. It seemed so long yet so soon ago, that Ophelia was just a newborn wrapped in a blanket; still unable to speak and still crawling. He missed those days, and he didn't at the exact same time. Ophelia was perfect; she was his everything. She was kind, and intelligent; sometimes even giving himself a run for his money. She was sarcastic, and witty and just so utterly perfect and while a part of him wished she was little again, so he could experience her growing up all over again; another part of him was just so unbelievably grateful. That despite all the bad that happened to him, he had Ophelia, and he had Ginger; his two saving graces that made his life worth living.

And as he drifted to sleep, he was thinking of the photo in his head. And despite being grateful, he was thinking of how quickly he lost Sirius, and he fell asleep; having to convince himself that Ophelia was fine, that she was just at school, and that he wasn't losing her. Even though it felt a lot like he was.