Be My Peace

Chapter 13:Broken Wing

When it looks like I'm up sometimes I'm down
I'm alone even with people all around
But that don't change the happiness I found
(These are the pieces of me)

Once the water was to my liking I stopped it and stripped naked and stepped in and sat. I relaxed my back against the tub and closed my eyes and let my thoughts take over.

"Who the fuck is this in your phone Monica!?" Dallas asked as my eyes opened and I looked at him in confusion

"Baby what are you talking about?" I asked as I raised up from the tub a little

"Don't play stupid with me! You clearly graduated with somebody's diploma so you have sense."

"Okay first of all come down because I'm literally not understanding. The last guy I texted was Jaylen in my chemistry class. I needed help with an equation, and he helped." I say with a small shrug and grabbed my towel indicating I'm about to get out of the tub

"So let me guess you fucked him too."

"I don't know how when he is scared of pussy like a cat is scared of water." I say as I stood up and wrapped my towel around me "Dallas this insecure problem you have been having lately is blowing me. Don't try to find ways for me to fuck up to match the damage you have caused in this relationship." I say as I felt a powerful sting to my cheek causing me to fall and hit my head on the end of the tub and falling into the water

"Stay your dumb ass in the water until you get your thoughts right." I heard him say as my head went under and everything went black

"Monica baby! Breath! It's just me! It's just me!" I heard Malcom say as the water went everywhere as I was having a panic attack "Monica breath!" he says as he held me still as my breathing was still uncontrollable

"Deep breaths. Breathe in." He instructed as I followed" Breathe out!" He says as I followed again

"It felt so real." I say in a low voice as I looked down and I felt him pick me up out of the tub

"Come on." He says as he grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me and pulled me close to his chest

"It's been a month baby. Talk to me. Please. I can only understand for so long, but this right here I can't."

Pieces of me continues to play
Like every woman, I know
I'm complicated for sho'
But when I love I love 'til there's no love no more
These are the pieces of me

Oh as the pieces of me start to unfold
Now I start to understand all that I am
A woman not afraid to be strong, strong

So when you look at my face
You gotta know that I'm made
Of everything love and pain
These are the pieces of me

"I'm broken...I'm completely broken to the point I can not fix myself. And even if I get the help to put myself together it's going to be hard. Malcom the last time I shut down like this was when I left home at 18. I'm having panic attacks, and nightmares at night. It's to the point I have stayed up for more than 24 hours. The last time I got sleep was 2 days ago. I'm scared, Malcom. This has caused me to push everyone I love away. As badly as I have been turning my back to you, and shutting you out. I'm surprised you're still here."