My Best Friend's Brother // Young Love Book 1 ✔️

My Best Friend's Brother Ch. 44

Stupid mixed signals making me misread everything.

Oh, wait. I forgot I like to assuming things too.

Why do I even do that?

I sighed, putting the new pair of shoes on. More thoughts floated around in my mind as I tried to keep myself from tripping. To be honest, it was only in the quiet confines of a boxy room that one can criticise themselves this meticulously. Often times, being in my own company was a bit too much. It was easy to drown yourself with nasty, hurtful thoughts when you're alone. We are our biggest critcs and sometimes the worst opinions that we receive are our own. It scared me how mean I could be to myself sometimes.

Well, maybe he doesn't like me like that.

What if I don't like him like that?

But you do, that logical voice in my brain intervened.

And maybe I shouldn't.

Once I got back out, I immediately spotted Cindy chatting animatedly with a bunch of other pageant girls. However, when she saw me, her carefree smile was replaced by a concerned look on her face--which she efficiently tried to hide. As we slowly approached one another, I waved at her. Upon meeting in the middle, Cindy explained that she wanted to retouch my makeup. She led us to the makeup station, telling me all sorts of things about my parents' Support Eli methods, Penny's cheerbots, my skin's makeup curfew, and how she successfully persuaded her boyfriend, Ethan, to watch the next season of The Vampire Diaries with her. I paid attetion, but only enough to comprehend. It was kind of hard to listen when your thoughts were elsewhere. No matter, I was practicing my multitasking skills. Ocassionally, I would nod, but apparently not enough to convince her that I was all there.

"Okay, just stop. Stop it now, Elouise. It's almost painful to watch you talk yourself out of something you're scared of over and over again," Cindy ranted, and my eyes bugged out. "I'm your best friend and I know you better than anyone. You're falling into this pattern again."

"What do you mean?" I asked, completely baffled by her sudden outburst.

"Well, remember Felix?"

I nodded, keeping quiet. Why was she bringing this up?

"When you broke up, you did this too. You trick your brain into believing that you don't feel anything."

"But...that's just me--how I react to most things! I can't help that I do that," I replied, remembering all of the suppressed sadness I had. I didn't feel as empty anymore, but it was still a touchy subject, especially now, when everything was resurfacing. It made me melancholy.

Cindy sighed, grey eyes as calculating as ever. Her smile was sad--pitying, and it was directed at me. Very gently, she reached for my hand. "Now, I know this might sound totally fit for a soap opera, but...Eli, you're living in a constant blunder. I'm not just going to sit back and watch you hurt yourself or anybody in the process. It's better if you let some things be," she said with a more encouraging smile. "You can't lie to yourself forever--it's not normal."

"Neither am I," I joked, finally returning her smile. I was glad that Cindy was my best friend. Anyone would be lucky to have this girl in their life. I'd known her for so long and she knew me so horrifically well. Nobody could ever replace her--not even her brother.

"Okay, I can agree with that. Now c'mon, say it!" Cindy urged giddily, grinning at me like a psycho. She kind of looked maniacal, staring at me in the most expectant of ways.

Slow as I was, I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. My brows knitted together in confusion, and I asked, "Wait, what?"

"ELOUISE MAREE WALTON, SAY IT."