Where You Go ― Jason Grace

vii. ophelia learns proper arugula maintenance

Frank blinked. "I—I do?"

Triptolemus heaved a dramatic sigh. "Yes, obviously some sort of blessing from Mars. Congratulations, blah, blah, blah. Now, if we're done here...?"

Ophelia scowled. "We're not done, Trip. Heal Nico."

The farm god rolled his eyes. "You're lucky you're pretty," he muttered. He pointed at the corn plant, and BAM! Nico di Angelo appeared in an explosion of corn silk.

Nico looked around in panic. "I—I had the weirdest nightmare about popcorn." He frowned at Frank. "Why are you taller?"

"Everything's fine," Frank promised. "Triptolemus was about to tell us how to survive the House of Hades. Weren't you, Trip?"

The farm god raised his eyes to the ceiling, like, Why me, Demeter?

"Fine," Trip said. "When you arrive at Epirus, you will be offered a chalice to drink from."

"Offered by whom?" Nico asked.

"Doesn't matter," Trip snapped. "Just know that it is filled with deadly poison."

Hazel shuddered. "So you're saying that we shouldn't drink it."

"No!" Trip said. "You must drink it, or you'll never be able to make it through the temple. The poison connects you to the world of the dead, lets you pass into the lower levels. The secret to surviving is"—his eyes twinkled—"barley."

Ophelia blinked. "Barley."

"In the front room, take some of my special barley. Make it into little cakes. Eat these before you step into the House of Hades. The barley will absorb the worst of the poison, so it will affect you, but not kill you."

"That's it?" Nico demanded. "Hecate sent us halfway across Italy so you could tell us to eat barley?"

"Good luck!" Triptolemus sprinted across the room and hopped in his chariot. "And, Frank Zhang, I forgive you! You've got spunk. If you ever change your mind, my offer is open. I'd love to see you get a degree in farming!"

"Yeah," Frank muttered. "Thanks."

"And you, pretty girl," the god said, his eyes twinkling again. "I would love to see you again after your quest—assuming you survive it, of course. Demeter has this lovely rose garden in Ecuador."

Ophelia forced a smile. "I'd love to take you up on that offer—if you can tell me what my name is." 

Trip blinked. After a moment, he said, "Well, it was lovely to meet you, but I should be going." 

Ophelia barely managed not to laugh.

Trip pulled a lever on his chariot. The snake-wheels turned. The wings flapped. At the back of the room, the garage doors rolled open.

"Oh, to be mobile again!" Trip cried. "So many ignorant lands in need of my knowledge. I will teach them the glories of tilling, irrigation, fertilizing!"

The chariot lifted off and zipped out of the house, Triptolemus shouting to the sky, "Away, my serpents! Away!"

"Um," Hazel said. "What was all that about?"

"You don't want to know," Ophelia grumbled.

"The glories of fertilizing." Nico brushed some corn silk off his shoulder. "Can we get out of here now?"

Hazel put a hand on Frank's shoulder. "Are you okay, really? What did Triptolemus make you do?"

"Those cow monsters..." Frank swallowed. "The katoblepones that poisoned you... I had to destroy them."