Boomerang | DreamWasTaken

14- patches

Clay

"I'm sorry that I avoided this and I'm so sorry that I avoided you for so long. I never wanted to make you feel like you weren't worth it. Like you were never a good friend. The truth is that you were the best friend someone could have."

"Thank you for always being a great listener whenever I needed it. Thank you for hanging out with me at any time. Thank you for your constant support and all the love you have sent my way. Most of all, thank you for being my best friend while growing up."

"I wish there was an easier way to say this and you have no idea how bad I want to change the past. Even though you were my rock, I pushed you away and I regret it."

"While I'm telling you everything, I should probably start with freshmen year of college. I did a lot things I regret and they will probably come up. I just want to explain myself now so it doesn't create a bigger problem later."

"When I first got to college, I started partying. A lot. I would get drunk all the time and hook up with any girl who threw herself at me. It was stupid, I know. I was just craving a connection to someone, anyone, so I would.. gosh it it was stupid."

"I always made sure the girls were sober and knew it was nothing more than a hookup. Please don't think I'm a totally heartless monster. Anyway, Nick really helped me out of that slump. I will never be able to thank him enough. He saved me and turned my focus onto healthier things such as video games."

"Basically, I was down pretty bad for a while and have always used video games as my escape. Especially since I pushed you out. I had stuff going on at home that you already know about, but I hid the truth from you for a long time. That's not fair to you and I'm sorry. I don't think I will ever say sorry enough to erase the guilt that has built up over the years."

"You were there for me when my parents were going through a rough time. I pushed you away because I had just watched my parents fall out of love. I heard my mom crying in her bed all night because my father left her. He cheated on her, Kailey. I never had the guts to tell you but that's the reason they got divorced."

"I started convincing myself that I was no better than him and I would turn out to be just like my father. That's why I pushed you away. That's why I pushed everyone I loved away. I didn't want to hurt them and be a monster like him."

"The REAL truth is that I'm in love with you. When I first started noticing my feelings for you, I tried to hide them simply because of my ego. My childhood best friend would never reciprocate the feelings I had for her. It also just wasn't considered cool for a middle schooler to express their feelings, so I hid them."

"However, just when I had finally started to come to terms with my feelings, everything changed at home. That's when the fights started. When I couldn't sleep at night because I could hear my mom crying in the room next to me. I basically had to raise Peyton because my mom was too busy at work after my dad had left."

"I wanted to tell you how I felt but I didn't want to break you like my dad broke my mom. But I am telling you now that I would never do that. I will never forgive my dad for leaving her for someone else. Hell, he has an entire other family now and doesn't even care about us. What kind of man does that? I know this is a lot to throw at you at once, but I just want you to think about it."

"Can we at least go back to being friends? I'm tired of pretending that I hate you when all I want to do is stay by your side. Again, I'm sorry that it took me so long to find the words to tell you. I have Nick and George to thank for helping me get over myself."

"I'll have to tell you about my friend George later. He lives in England and you would love him, but that's a story for another time. I had convinced myself that my feelings faded but they showed me that they didn't."

"I don't think I could ever stop loving you. If I have to accept that you will never love me back, then that's okay. As long as I'm not lying to you anymore, then I will be content. I am done masking my true feelings towards you with built up resentment."

"How's that patches? Do you think she will forgive me?"

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If you're confused, basically Clay was practicing what he planned to say to Kailey by talking to Patches. Kailey never heard this conversation but it gives you a little insight into his thoughts.

Also! In this story, both Clay and Nick have yet to do a face reveal. Obviously if everyone knew what Sapnap looked like, people would figure out Dream is the person always hanging out with him on campus.

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