When Confidence Collides

Chapter 41: We all have demons

I stared at my hand and laughed mirthlessly, "You don't even care, do you?" I questioned in disbelief. I never thought he would have been like this with me. I ran back to him, not letting him get away. I resumed my position blocking him from going anywhere, "You're just like every other guy. And there was me thinking you were different, that you were caring, but I guess I just miss judged you." I finished looking up at his face. His face was blank showing no emotion. He was giving me nothing. Why wasn't he reacting?

"Come on, Jace! Give me something," I shouted, pushing his chest lightly getting frustrated. I knew I was acting irrational, crazy, nonsensical even, but after everything I had said, I would have at least expected something from him, but he just looked at me emptily. I knew I was being difficult; I knew it, but it was just what I was thinking. Maybe if circumstances had been different, we could have avoided this heated conversation.

But things weren't different and my vision was filled with furious tears. "You're hurting me," I whispered lowly, my voice breaking as I felt a single, alone tear escape and roll down my cheek.

His arms unexpectedly wrapped around my shoulders and I rested my head on his chest. I cried silently into his hoodie, feeling comforted by his warm presence and relaxing into his familiar scent.

I didn't like crying, I never have, but with Jace, I have always felt like I could with him. I felt like I could show him that little guy inside and I did, and that's where I got hurt.

I moved backwards, no longer against his chest and tried to get out of his warm hold. I was falling into the trap of false security; the same thing that got me here in the first place.

He let go of me but not entirely. His large hands cupped the cheeks of my face, gently tilting my head up so that I was looking at him. He looked sad, I could tell that by his eyes, the rest of his face however held no emotion.

My eyes bore into his as I felt the pads of his thumbs gently wipe away the tears that had escaped my eyes. A faint smile washed his face as he dried my face of any leftover residue that his thumbs didn't reach. The contrast of cold metal of the rings on Jace's fingers and the warmness of my face from feeling riled up moments ago felt nice.

He slowly let go of my face and ran his hand through his hair, knocking the hood that had been protecting his hair from the rain, off. He looked frustrated. I braced myself as I sensed that he was going to say something bad.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he kissed me on the forehead, "That's exactly the reason," he started, making my heart gain speed, "why you have to leave," he finished in the softest way possible.

Goosebumps rose on my arms, making me shiver in response. The rain picked up dramatically in speed, almost as if we were in a movie. Only, if we were in a movie, the words he said would not have affected me as much as they did.

What the hell does he mean I have to leave?

"What?" I asked confused, my voice raising unintentionally. I needed him to clarify what he had said. One part of me couldn't believe it, but a larger and more overpowering part expected and knew exactly what he meant, I just didn't want to accept nor admit it.

"Either you leave or I will."

"No, no, no, no, no!" I shook my finger at him and laughed humourlessly. He stopped moving away from me and stood where he had stopped, allowing me to take a few steps forwards before being directly opposite him.

"What?" He queried. His eyes at me uncertainly, like he didn't know what I was going to say next.

Everything started to annoy me. The way he was a few inches taller than me, the rain slapping the ground so hard that I couldn't even hear myself think, the fact that my clothes were absolutely soaking wet therefore making me freezing cold. His stupid hair that gave the raindrops a track to run straight into my eye, his stupid face, his cologne that made my head spin and the way he was making me feel hopeful but hopeless all at the same time but most importantly, how I had opened up to him and he still didn't trust me enough to open up to me.