Call It What You Want [A Poetry Collection]

black and white

A long time ago,
I got a taste of black.

All the things
Your mother warns you
To avoid.

Because even witnessing them
Could send you straight for hell.

The smoke.
And the nicotine
That comes with it.

The touch.
And the overwhelming
Blinding
Desire
That comes with it.

The drink.
The one stronger
Than that which is reserved
For those who attend
Morning service.
And the boost of confidence,
The loss of control,
That comes with it.

However recently,
I have gotten a taste of white.

All the things
You shy away from at first,
In fear of meeting expectations.

The exceptional grades.
And the contentment
That comes with it.

The sober tendencies.
And the clear mind
Calmness
And awareness
That comes with it.

That taste of black
Will follow me
Wherever i go
For the rest of my life.

The grey tint
On my lungs
Will never be repaired.

No matter how hard
I try to go back,
Desire will never
Be a stranger. 

My liver
Will forever be a weakened filter. 

But that's not the part
I wish to change.

My only regret
In living life on the edge
At sixteen years old
Is that my younger sister followed me
Down the black path.

At a younger age
Than i started out,
She yearns
To taste the smoke
Dance on her tongue.
To let the bottle
Flirt with her lips.
To feel the touch of another
Pull at her skin.
Without a care in the world.

The haze of grey around me
Is clearing.

Though hers is only thickening.