Tinted Windows

Chapter Twenty-Two

I gathered all of the letters, putting them gently into my bag. I put my short sword under my dress in a scabbard that was on my thigh. I packed my bag with essentials and started towards the tavern.

When I arrived, it was way after midnight and I was still drunk. It wasn't a light-hearted drunk like yesterday. This was...different. I felt like I was radiating a feeling of pain and numbness at the same time. I walked over to the small group of people talking outside.

"Hey, Selene! What's up?" Ban pulled me into a hug but quickly pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders. "Are you drunk? You reek of alcohol." I rolled my eyes and brushed his hands off my shoulder. His comment made everyone look over at me. I ran my hand through my hair gently but my face lacked any emotion.

"Selene, what's going on?" Elizabeth asked me in a voice so filled with kindness it almost brought tears to my eyes.

"Selene appears to be quite drunk. She also seems to be planning to-" Before Gowther had the chance to finish, I leaped across the group pulling my sword out and holding it against his neck.

"Finish that sentence, Gowther. I dare you."

"I don't think she would like me to continue." I put my sword away and grabbed a couple of shot glasses filled with alcohol. Everyone stood still, completely in shock from my actions. I downed the shots and stood against the tavern.

Elizabeth was the first to approach me. She walked cautiously like she was afraid. It felt like a stab in the heart to see her like this. Afraid of me. She put her hand on my arm and looked at me with her bright blue eyes full of worry. I stared down at the ground, avoiding eye contact. I could feel everyone's eyes on me but tried to ignore it.

"Are you okay? I'm here for you, you know that right?"

"I know. I'm fine."

"Really, Selene? You look like you're having a midlife crisis. Do you think drinking will fix any of this? Because if you do you are severely mistaken." Ban yelled at me but I didn't react. He stormed over to me and lifted my head so he could see my face. His eyes widened slightly in shock seeing my face. It was empty of any emotions. It was almost like I wasn't even there.

"Selene isn't trying to fix her problems with alcohol. It appears she's using it to-" Before Gowther got the chance to finish, I threw my sword at him. It landed right next to his eye on a wooden post he was next to.

"Enough. All of you. I'm fine. Just tired." Elizabeth looked at me with her eyes that burnt into my soul. She gently put her hand on my shoulder and I flinched away from her. "Stop looking at me like that! I said I'm fine!" I slowly slid down the wall I was leaning against while facing forward, with my face still empty. "I'm fine. Everything's fine. It's fine." I mumbled but everyone still heard me. "It's all going to be okay. It's okay." I mumbled again while a single tear rolled down my face that was still lacking emotion. Elizabeth kneeled next to me and put an arm around me.

"Selene. I'm here. And I will always be right beside you."

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I shook my head slightly while wrapping my arms around myself. I rested my head on my knees as a few tears escaped my eyes. She noticed this and pulled me into a full hug. I started sobbing uncontrollably into her shoulder, gasping for air.

I could feel everyone staring in confusion but Elizabeth kept me in the hug and rubbed my back.

"Gowther, what's going on-" I cut Ban off before Gowther got the chance to say anything. I pulled away from Elizabeth and stood up, wiping away some of my tears.

"Gowther don't answer that." Ban walked over to me and forcefully put his hand on my shoulder. He looked mad but his eyes were full of worry, causing my heart to break just a little bit more.

"Then how about you talk to us. What the hell is going on with you? First, you got completely drunk yesterday and now you're showing up already drunk? What are you thinking?" I closed my eyes, trying to keep my tears from escaping but a few streamed down my face.

"Ban, maybe now isn't the time to yell at her. How about we go to sleep and talk about this in the morning?" Ban sighed at Meliodas's suggestion and nodded. He pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Selene. I'm just worried about you." His voice sounded so defeated, it broke my heart. I nodded slightly into his chest and sobbed silently. He tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him go. I didn't know when I would see him again and I needed this. I needed to pretend nothing mattered besides what was right in front of me. I needed to not be alone. When I finally let go, I turned back to Elizabeth and hugged her tightly.

"Let's all go to bed and we'll talk about it in the morning!" I smiled at Meliodas's enthusiasm. I grabbed my sword off the post before going to the bathroom to wash all of the tears off my face. I grabbed my lipstick and put it on, trying to make myself look a little better. I climbed into bed next to Elizabeth and waited until she fell asleep.

~~~

I slowly crawled out of bed and threw my bag over my shoulder. I looked over at Elizabeth, who was sleeping peacefully, before I silently shut the door. I crept up the stairs to Ban's room. I stood in the open doorway for a moment, noticing how peaceful he looked. I walked over to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. When I pulled away, a kiss mark remained in lipstick. I sighed quietly and started for the door. I looked over my shoulder, mentally saying goodbye.

I placed the three envelopes on the counter while tears flowed down my face.

"What are you doing?" I jumped but realized it was just Gowther.

"Hey, Gowther. I have to go. You know, what you almost spilled earlier. I'm sorry by the way. I truly am. I guess it's another bullet on my list of regrets." I mumbled the last part but assumed he still heard me.

"I wish you luck in your travels." I smiled slightly at him and nodded. I tried to wipe my tears away but they kept coming.

"Make sure they get the letters, okay?"

"Will do."

"Goodbye Gowther." I started to walk out of the backdoor of the tavern but stopped when I heard a gust of wind from behind me. I turned around to see King, who was effortlessly hovering in the air. Before I had a chance to explain myself, he spoke.

"Leaving without saying goodbye? That's going to break their hearts." I ignored the pain I felt in my heart at his words.

"What do you want, King? I'm not in the mood to be scolded."

"You never been one to look at their faults, have you, Selene?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "I still haven't forgiven you for trying to kill us. Why should I believe you're our ally? You're sneaking out without telling anyone anything! I promised my sister to protect Ban and he's going to get himself hurt trying to save you. Do you realize how naïve and selfish you are?" I couldn't respond for a few seconds. I just tried to comprehend all of the information he just threw at me.

'That's right. Ban dated King's sister, Elaine, before she died.' But I still couldn't comprehend why King showed so much anger towards me.

"If you're trying to stop me, it's not going to-"

"I'm not trying to stop you." King said, cutting me off. I inhaled sharply and tried to keep my eyes from watering.

"O-okay. Goodbye then." I said and turned and walked out of the tavern. I didn't dare look back because I knew if I did, I wouldn't have the courage to leave.

~~~

Selene took in a deep breath of the cool early morning air. The moon illuminated her path, making her tears shine in the light. She left the tavern and started in the direction of the town where her first adoptive parents lived. Her heart was aching thinking her friends would read the letters in a few hours and she would be gone. All without a proper goodbye. Maybe she was naïve. Naïve enough to have hope things would get better before they got worse.