2011
August 19
Toni
"I SAID I DON'T REMEMBER! You keep asking me the same shit and you're going to keep getting the same answer!"
"If you don't talk about the situation you can't get any better Janet." Courtney our therapist said back to her.
I was sitting outside of the office waiting for Janet so we could go back home. It's been two weeks and Janet still hasn't told anyone what happened to her.
"What if I don't want to get better? It's not going to change anything." Janet said in response to her. Janet has been distant with me but she's also been very affectionate with our kids. I'm assuming that's how she's coping with this.
"Okay then how is everything going at home?" Three more minutes and we could go back home, I was tired as hell, taking care of the kids and Janet. I had to make sure that Janet was taking her medicine, prenatal vitamins, eating, sleeping, and breathing.
"Fine I guess. I haven't been giving Toni the attention and love she deserves but that's only because I'm scared." Janet whispered so low I could barely hear her.
"Why are you scared? That she'll do the same thing as who ever assaulted you?"
"No Toni would never... I'm just scared that-" The timer that Courtney had set went off letting them know that the session was over. I could hear them stand up and walk to the door. I pretended as if I was on my phone once they opened the door.
"Okay, Toni she's all yours." Courtney said smiling.
"Same time tomorrow?" I asked looking at Janet and she nodded her head. We walked to the car in silence something I've gotten used to from the last couple of weeks. I wanted to say something but she surprisingly beat me to it.
"I'm sorry I've been acting like you did this to me, its just complicated. I love you and you know that even if I don't act like it. I appreciate what you've done for me these last couple of weeks."
"I love you too." I said smiling, I knew I shouldn't ask what I am about to ask but I have to.
"Who Janet? Just tell me I won't do anything I promise! I just want you to tell someone it's not healthy for you not to tell anyone." She looked out the window and ignored my question.
"I was at the studio trying to poor my emotions into some music, alone. I just wanted to be alone that's all, that's what I kept telling him but he wouldn't leave me alone. Before he even touched me I felt suffocated and violated. After I just felt dirty, I was ashamed I didn't even want to come back home but I knew I had to."
She wasn't even crying as she told me the story and I knew that whoever did this really fucked her up. When Janet doesn't cry there means there's something deeper to the story.
"That's all I remember." She said laying her head against the window.
Justice
"Have you seen Janet babe?" Anika asked as she made her homemade apple juice.
"No I'm worried too, I haven't even heard from Toni other than the night we kept the twins over." I said placing my head in my hands sighing.
"And they don't even fuck with you like that no more." Anika said laughing and shaking her head. "I know right? I didn't even do anything to them for them to be so damn mean."
"Now you know you didn't go over there for months, plus they were attached to you at the hip all of their lives. I would be mad too! Think you gonna come up in my house after not calling or coming over and I'm going to bow down to your feet? Tuh I think the fuck not."
"Whatever. Where's Kobi?" I had just woken up from my fourth nap of the day and it was only four forty-five.
"Napping she was up at like seven running around I finally put her down after she ate almost everything out the fridge."
"Sounds about right." I said laughing but it was cut short when my phone began to ring cutting me off.
"Hey ma! What's up?" I was surprised yet actually happy to hear Toni's voice, modtly because are relationship has been getting stronger.
"Hey baby I'm outside come take a ride with me."
"I- sure let me throw my shoes on and wake Kobi up Nika has somewhere to go later." I said standing up and walking towards the steps.
"I'll be waiting." I hung up the phone and went upstairs, I know how bad Toni's patience is so I was pretty fast in getting ready.
"Baby I'll call you later!" I yelled while walking out the door. Anika ran over to give us both forehead kisses and to give Kobi some juice.
When I got in the car I noticed Toni's mood was not the best so I didn't ask any questions. When we reached our destination Toni jumped out of the car with it barely being in park.
"Wait! Why are we here?" I asked running behind her basically dragging Kobi.
"Uh I want to record some music and I want you guys here, yeah that's it." She didn't even bother to look at me when she spoke, so I knew she was lying.
When I walked in which was way after Toni because she was damn near sprinting, she was talking to someone, as I got closer I could hear the conversation.
"Yeah the last time I saw Janet was about a couple weeks ago here actually." After he said that everything went left.
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hey y'all!! college is kicking my ass right now... but hopefully during the break i'll be able to finish this! hope you enjoyed 🤸🏽♀️
