Love me like you do - Ariana grande and Big Sean (Seaniana)

grammys, shower, running away, flashback and talking it out

But what am I doing? This really shouldn’t be on my mind right now. Im wrapped in my boyfriends arms naked in the shower and I’m thinking about how horrible my first time was? Stop it Ariana! Thats not fair to you, or to Sean for that matter. 

Suddenly this rush of fear came storming over me. This is not like me and its strange. 

«Sean please stop» I say quietly looking nowhere but his eyes. 

Ofcouse he stopped dead in his tracks as he never have pressured me into doing sexual thinks I wasn’t up for before. I could feel it on the energy around us that he was worried «whats wrong? Did I do something?» letting go of me he sets be cearfull down on my feet again. 

«I just cant right now. Can we just finish our shower please. Without sex» looking up into his eyes for the first time in a good min now he can see I was begin serious but I could tell we has really confused 

«Yeah. Ofcouse» he kisses the top of my head lightly before rubbing shower gel all over our bodies. «As he rubs me in he asks «but could you tell me whats going on?» I could tell by the tone of his voice he was getting really concerned for me. 

«I don’t know its just.. Everything about tomorrow and everything about all that is just racing trough my head and it wouldn’t really be fair to you I guess.» 

He stops where he is down rubbing in my legs and stood up looking straight into my face. «What exactly is bothering you the most? It will all be over and done with tomorrow.» but I could tell he kinda already knew. 

His hand run push my hair behind my ear and I sigh deeply «you know what it was you´re not stupid.» I let the  water run all the soap of me and quickly step out of the shower wrapping a towel around my body and walked into the bedroom without saying anything more. 

Behind me I could hear the water shutting of I’m the shower wile I was putting some clothes on. I just needed to get out of her to clear my mind. I need to talk to someone that isn’t Sean. That sounds stupid as I know I can tell him anything but some things I just cant bring myself to talk to him about. 

Just as I’m putting a pair of Uggs I left here a month ago or so Sean walks into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. I was wearing fresh new clothes as I have a drawer here with clothes and he also keep some of my toiletries in the bathroom. It just makes spontaneous sleepovers a lot easier so he has the same at my house. 

So currently I’m wearing some yoga pants, a simple black crop top and I also trow my hair up in a ponytail. No makeup. Wow I got a lot done quick I haft to say. Damn. 

«Ariana, we need to talk about this» he tries walking towards me but I put my hand out signaling to not get closer. 

Looking up at him as I grab my phone I say «we don’t. I love you but I gotta go clear my head. I really don’t want to end up in a fight with you but I just cant talk to you about this specific thing. Im not mad at you, you need to understand that. But I just… cant… I love you but I gotta go» kissing his lips softly and quick I walk downstairs.