Nothing is Forever

Chapter 22

Upon awaking the next morning, I was surprised to find not Legolas by my side, but Elladan. Strangely, I did not feel any emotion from him; I figured he must have been hiding it deep within himself. I smiled at him, still feeling guilty about the mistakes I made, whether or not they had been really my fault.

“You are awake,” he stated. I smiled and nodded, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “We missed you.” His voice caught in his throat, and I knew that my death and rebirth had as much of an effect on him as on Legolas and Inwe. He was just unable to express it, or he did not want to hurt me with the sadness and the fear he felt.

“I am so sorry, Elladan. I was delirious with… the pain and the sadness and the anger and rage. I just wanted it gone. I didn’t know… what I did.”

He shook his head and clasped my hand. “Please do not worry, Merewen. Clearly, you came back; you must have wanted it. It was a mistake, an end sought in delirium.” I nodded. He paused and took my hand in his, caught my eyes with his own. “I understand, Merewen. I know what happened. I know what you went through. I should have known better than to do what I was doing.”

“You were lead by your heart—” I protested.

He shook his head, “That is no excuse. I should have realized. I should have known, I know you better than that. I am sorry.”

“Elladan, if you say that once more, I will have your head!” I smiled trying to take the tension away. “Let us say that it was no one’s fault and everyone’s fault. We all should have known better, been better able to control ourselves. It is my fault as much as it is yours. It is yours as much as Legolas’, and it is his as much as Inwe’s. I blame no one.”

Elladan decided against arguing and simply nodded his head. I felt the first crack within him. Sadness was creeping up, but he shoved it back. “Nevertheless, Merewen, I owe you an apology. I did not… treat you in the best manner. I did not express my love to you, only my anger to others. I have heard jealousy is not a sign of love, but a sign of control, and that is the last thing I want to do, control you. You are a free bird, my darling, you always have been.

“But furthermore, I should have realized, should have known, that he was the one for you. I should have read it in his eyes in the beginning, read it in yours. I think you were running, you ran so hard from him that you collided with me. Your passion and fear combined, and that is the foundation of our love. It is not pure, not like yours and Legolas’. I do not blame you, melamin. I do not want to hold you back any longer, not when you have finally found that which will make you happy.”

I smiled, tears forming in my eyes. I was losing Elladan, but not his love, never his love. It did impress me, though, that he was taking such a step, that he was admitting defeat. This was unlike him. This was, I think, a symbol of the extent of his love for me. I could do naught but nod and let the tears wash down my cheeks.

Elladan leaned over and took me in his arms. “Do not forget, Melamin, I will always be right there, whenever you need me.”

*****

He was walking through the gardens when she came to him. He took her in his arms and wept, he cried, but he was not sad. He was so happy. He had never been so happy in his life.

She tried to apologize to him, but he wouldn’t let her. he kissed her. He kissed her tears and kissed her lips. He could not stop kissing her. She wanted to be with him. He wanted to be with her. He had never wanted anything more, and now he had it. He had her in his arms.

“Merewen, you are the only person that has ever meant anything to me.” She smiled and nodded.

“I know, melamin. I know.”

“I don’t want to lose you, don’t you ever leave me!” He wept into her hair. It smelled of apples and fruit. It smelled so good. “Amin mela lle.”

“Amin mela lle, Legolas.” She kissed him and held him. She stroked his hair and it seemed she could not let him go.

“Merewen,” He whispered and pulled her back. He kissed her. “Melamin, veruva amin. Merewen, veruva amin.”(Merewen, my love, marry me. Merewen, marry me.)

“Uma, Legolas, ye!”

They embraced and she kissed him, He wept some more. They spent the rest of the day in each other’s arms.