Nothing is Forever

Chapter 10

I could stand on my own, in a few more days, for long periods of time. I could go out on walks and be alone if I wished, but more often than not, I wanted to spend my time with Legolas. He was more withdrawn; I could see wariness in him. He was not as open as he once was, and I knew I had crossed the line when I asked him about our personal past. I tried to make him at ease and now spoke mostly of my past with Inwe.

He told me of our friendship and how it came to pass. When we were children, my parents chose to leave our native home of Lothlorien, where we had been childhood playmates. It surprised everyone that we got along so well. Inwe was a light elf and I was a wood elf, we were essentially polar opposites. It seemed that I was more arrogant than she was; I loved the spotlight and was an ambitious fighter. She, on the other hand, was passive and kind, she was always humble, and all too willing to allow me to sing and dance before a crowd while she clapped politely in the background.

Throughout our lives, we visited each other in our homes, Mirkwood and Lothlorien, and we never grew apart. Legolas told me of Haldir and Inwe’s relationship, they liked to be very private, where I was open about my feelings. Still, we were inseparable.

Apparently, Lord Elrond of Rivendell summoned us to work with him to learn the ways of healing. Inwe’s particular talent of foretelling intrigued the elder elf, and he sensed, even from such a distance, something unique in me, though he was unsure what it was. Legolas could not tell me what I learned, however. Though, by telling me more about myself, he gave me hints, unknowingly of course, as to what my particular attributes might be. I concluded that I had to ask Inwe about my particular talent when she returned.

For the time being, I allowed Legolas to entertain me with songs, stories, and travelling around Mirkwood. He was never very enthusiastic about the stories because I seemed to ask too many questions, but I loved to hear him sing. His voice was like Aeolian harps, it sounded like the air breathed notes and the trees wove songs through their tangled branches. I fell apart in listening to him. It was peaceful, passionate, loving, and passive. It was everything and nothing all at once. I loved him when he sang, and when he stopped and stared into my eyes, when he asked me what I thought, I very nearly wept.

“I can feel it in my bones. My soul vibrates with your words and it is as though I am on the highest plane of existence. I feel so much longing and love in you.” My eyes filled with tears and I reached out for his face. He did not move, but looked at me, looked into me. I touched his cheek. “Sing something more.”

He closed his eyes, and I touched his face gently. I held his hand, and he began to sing softly:

I have always known you,
You have always been there,
I have loved you from birth,
You have loved me to death.

When the darkness falls and the distance calls, you still remain with me.
My words bring you down,
But I was born to speak,
I have loved you from birth,
You have loved me to death.

You're the beauty that encompasses the night, the peace in the morn.
You're the dreams of my dreams I will never awake,
And the shadows and the seasons and the light,
And the lightning in the distance rages on,
Signs of love and signs of life you have entered.
Oh, make way for the Valar is here.
For the Valar cares.

He stopped and opened his eyes only to be startled. Tears rolled down my pale cheeks and I shivered with joy and love and sadness.

“You speak your emotions through your voice. Your words say naught to do them justice, but I feel them.” I retracted my hand and held it to my chest suddenly, looking him in the eye. The concern was evident on his face. He reached out for me, but I stopped his hand by holding up my own. I shook my head. “I am sorry, my friend. You hurt so much, you are so pure, and your heart, your love, it is so full. I am sorry that I do not know, I do not remember…”

I struggled to my feet and he stood to help me, but I continued to hold my hand out to stop him. I backed slowly away, my vision blurred by my tears, the pain I felt in my heart, the pain that was his. I tore my eyes from him finally and ran.