The Matchmaker Patch

Crazy Love

The last chapter left a big honkin hole in my heart, but you're gonna learn what happened and why it happened here! Cuz, come on now, WHAT IS THIS THING?? Oh man, I'm feelin' so low... Anyways, let's move onto our Doofenshmirtz vs. Perry and Crimson chapter! I think these are going to be much shorter than the regular drama chapters cuz I want to get into that, and these are surprisingly hard to think of, so kudos to Dan and Swampy for thinking up 4 seasons worth of fights!!

"Agent P, Agent P! Come in!" Perry's watch beeped as he was trying to enjoy his daily nap. He opened his eyes grumpily and listened to the message. Everyone was in the backyard watching the play, and he thought his day's work was over. 

"We need you and Agent S down to headquarters urgently! Seems Doof has attempted a second inator in a single day!" he said, and Perry's eyes widened. 'He never tries to do more than one a day... what's going on?' 

He stood up, stretched his legs, and ran to the kitchen, opening the dishwasher. There was a small hole in the back and he squeezed through it, trying not to make noise of the plates. 

He slid down a tube and into his chair, glad that he wasn't going to fall on the floor again. He let out a sigh of relief before he heard screaming from the tube above. "Uh oh..." he chattered and quickly scrambled off the chair. Crimson fell on the chair behind him. 

"Oh, hey Per! Emergency mission?" she asked, and Monogram nodded. 

"We don't have much time, so basically you two just go and knock him out! Not literally... unless you have to, but... you know what, just go!" he shooed them away, and the two rushed to their hovercar and zoomed off. 

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The agents arrived at the towering purple building to find an inator already set up on the balcony. Heinz was sitting in a lawn chair sipping a cup of hot cocoa, waiting for them. He got up when he saw them and set the mug down. 

"Oh, hello, Perry the Platypus and Crimson the Bearded Dog! Sorry for the late call, but this one is kind of an emergency. You see, nobody has ever stayed in love with me for a long amount of time, so I thought of this, and well, I didn't want to forget the idea so I just built it now." he started, gesturing to his 'Inator' that was shaped like a heart. 

"Oh, I forgot to capture you. Here you go!" he said, wrapping a ribbon with love hearts all over it around the two of them over and over, tying the both of them together. 

"BEHOLD! The Sudden-Love-Inator! It's an inator that, when it shoots someone, they kiss the first person they see and begin to fall madly in love with them over time! Ya see, the evil part is that the other person might not feel the same way, so they will just have this creepy guy falling in love with them that they don't want! This causes relationship problems, especially if the other person already likes someone else, and those are the scariest problems!" he cackled. 

Perry and Crimson looked at each other confused, and shrugged, turning back to him. 

"Hmm, maybe I should shoot one of you to test it out!" Heinz chuckled. 

Perry's eyes widened and he shook his head rapidly, but it was too late. A green ray was aimed at Perry, and he closed his eyes and looked to the side as it hit him. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the sparkling brown eyes of his partner.

Crimson looked at him and freaked out, trying to escape, but Doof was having too much fun, so he uncut the ribbon and watched Perry chase after Crimson while she howled in fear.

She ran into the Sudden-Love-Inator, shooting a green ray somewhere down into Danville. It looked like it was heading to the park. 

Fortunately, the inator tipped off the side of the building and into the dumpster. 

"Oh... so much for love..." Dr. D sighed and sat back down, watching the two chase each other while sipping his hot cocoa. 

Crimson wasn't paying attention and ran into the door. She tried to scramble up, but Perry jumped on top of her. 

"Uh... P, don't do this. Don't you dare!" she whimpered, but Perry kissed her before she could stop him. 

When he pulled away, he woke up from his trance. He was too serious for even an 'Inator' to break the broodiness of Perry the Platypus. 

His eyes widened as he saw what he just did, and Crimson looked at him confused until he jumped off of her. 

"S-Sorry, Crimson. It made me do that." he shook his head and cleared his mind. 

She giggled. "It was kind of funny!" 

They waved to Doof and rode back to Headquarters. 

"We should never speak of this again." he mumbled, refusing to look her in the eyes. 

"Agreed!" she said and turned to look away from his direction.