Dedicated to jannah96 (sorry if I spelt it wrong, ill fix it later)
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Salam everyone!!! I hope Allah has blessed you and your families. Normally I don't write chapters on just one topic, I kind of blend it in, but this seems important. Jannah and everyone else wondering WHY I became muslim, let me tell you the decision wasn't easy. I was raised in a mostly Christian family. There is nothing wrong with Christians, but I never felt welcome. I always felt shunned because I valued things differently than other youth in my church. The kids there would do drugs while we were on mission trips helping others after disasters like hurricane Katrina. They would pop pills like candy while I would pray in another room. The girls would wear clothes two sizes to small while I wore pants to keep people from looking. They spent hours on their hair and makeup while I cooked and cleaned. I'm not saying that they were all bad, but I avoided them like the plague. This pushed me farther from their parents and other major faces in the congregation. No one would hear my story. I always found them to be cold. I began looking for a new church, but I found a site where people really disliked the Islamic religion. Random right? I looked up the "facts" they posted and discovered they were not true.. I wondered, why do they lie? Why are they against another religion? Doesn't my pastor teach us to love everyone?
The next day, I drove to the church to see the pastor. There was an event at cfumc (the church) so he was naturally there. I questioned him about the dislike for Muslims (although I called them Islamists since I didn't know that islam is the religion and Muslims are the people that practice it). He told me that Muslims are terrorists. All of them. I couldn't and wouldn't believe it. I decided to leave early so I could go to the library. I studied for hours there until they kicked me out. I came every day except Sunday to study islam and compare it to Christianity . I discovered that there are extremists in both religions. I discovered that some people from each religion don't like the other. I felt like I had been lied to .
I hid these studies from my families. I knew no Muslims so I had no one to talk to about it . About a year and a half passed by. I studied different religions. I had long decided that Christianity wasn't for me. I also ruled out Wicca (my mothers religion) and Buddhism along with four or five others.
I decided that Islam was right for me and that I would convert. I didn't dive head first into it. I didn't do it because its popular (it's the opposite in my town seeing how I'm from a small town in the south in the United States) . I bought my first hijab. It was pink and silk. I came home with it and hid my hair under it. I felt safe, warm, strong and most of all happy. Later I ordered a Qur'an ( oh the benefits of credit cards) off the Internet. My family still had no idea. I quickly cut pork from my diet and recited (my phone won't let me type the word for it)" I know that there is one God and he is called 'Allah' he is most merciful and Mummahad is his servant and messenger". I have no idea if that was the last step, there is no mosque around. The nearest one is two hours away and my car won't make it that far. I bought a compass and learned my prayers. I pray five times a day in that direction, except today I can't get up but I turn my face that way and say my prayers. I set up an account to help pay my way to Hajj.
I think that another reason I left Christianity is sex. Vulgar I know but those things you hear about priests and children are true. The children are innocent of course, but not the grown men. My "father" who abused me That way is an example. Him and his friends until I went to the police. They would do that then take me to church the next day. It made me not like church even more.
Since I converted I have found nothing but love and peace and happiness. I hope you find it too. If I'm doing anything as a Muslim wrong, if I didn't Become one the right way, tell me so I can fix it. Thank you. Salam.
